Spectre
Viewing comments for Chapter 33 "Euphoria"This is book two of a trilogy book 1 "Ghost"
10 total reviews
Comment from Rachelle Allen
This is such a happy segue from the previous chapter. It gives me hope and a feeling of lightness. Once again, you rise from the ashes of your life and hopes that others have set fire to. You are the mythical, magical phoenix.
Very nice job with this chapter. xo
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2024
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This is such a happy segue from the previous chapter. It gives me hope and a feeling of lightness. Once again, you rise from the ashes of your life and hopes that others have set fire to. You are the mythical, magical phoenix.
Very nice job with this chapter. xo
Comment Written 05-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2024
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Rachelle thank u again for this awesome review and fine rating I appreciate you so much and happy to have you with me as always thank you for all the work you do too and helping me you're the best have a great evening!
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Anytime! I love the way you write.xo
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Lea,
well, I have to say, I enjoyed the poem very much. I also was happy to read that you finally caught a break that you so desperately needed in your young life. Knowing that there is a different way to live had to give you a goal for your own life I would think. Well done gal. There were a few mistakes, but I'm not going to dwell on them, as others have pointed out stuff. Very interesting gal. Thanks so much for sharing.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2024
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Hello Lea,
well, I have to say, I enjoyed the poem very much. I also was happy to read that you finally caught a break that you so desperately needed in your young life. Knowing that there is a different way to live had to give you a goal for your own life I would think. Well done gal. There were a few mistakes, but I'm not going to dwell on them, as others have pointed out stuff. Very interesting gal. Thanks so much for sharing.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
Comment Written 05-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2024
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Tom thank you so much I'm glad you like the poem thank you as always free comments and for offering your thoughts always valuable to me as you know thank you again hope you have a great evening!
Comment from BethShelby
I'm sorry I'm late reviewing this. I've gotten really behind. You poem was awesome. Did you son really almost drown. That was so scary. As for you, you are in a really good place. Did you actually spend an whole year there and whose idea was it for you to leave?
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2024
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I'm sorry I'm late reviewing this. I've gotten really behind. You poem was awesome. Did you son really almost drown. That was so scary. As for you, you are in a really good place. Did you actually spend an whole year there and whose idea was it for you to leave?
Comment Written 04-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2024
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Hi Beth thank you again for this wonderful review I read on and you'll find out why thank you my friend I appreciate your curiosity it always makes me smile! I hope you're having a wonderful day and thank you for this honor!
Comment from Jim Wile
That was such a heartwarming chapter, Lea. Finally, FINALLY, you find yourself in a stable situation with normal, kind people and no sense of foreboding in your life. It's what all children are entitled to, which just underscores what a rotten hand you were dealt in life.
What an eerie poem you started out with! Is that autobiographical too? It was very well written.
I wish you the greatest luck with what you discover from all the boxes and with the lawyer. I'm looking forward to what the results will be if you care to share them with us. - Jim
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2024
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That was such a heartwarming chapter, Lea. Finally, FINALLY, you find yourself in a stable situation with normal, kind people and no sense of foreboding in your life. It's what all children are entitled to, which just underscores what a rotten hand you were dealt in life.
What an eerie poem you started out with! Is that autobiographical too? It was very well written.
I wish you the greatest luck with what you discover from all the boxes and with the lawyer. I'm looking forward to what the results will be if you care to share them with us. - Jim
Comment Written 04-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2024
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Thank you so much Jim once again you write a wonderful review the poem is autobiographical it happened when we were driving across country and camping at different spots each night. On the same trip but on a different night my youngest son ended up with several stitches and his knuckle from whittling a stick we were in a tiny town called Thesselon and he was the main attraction! Thank you again my friends wonderful to see you here have a great night!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Another fine chapter Lea and it is good to read about you have a lovely time with new friends and being accepted into this family.
Suggestion for this line:
(To these people who barely (know) me).
Much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2024
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Another fine chapter Lea and it is good to read about you have a lovely time with new friends and being accepted into this family.
Suggestion for this line:
(To these people who barely (know) me).
Much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 04-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2024
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Thanks Dolly great suggestion got to get it in there for sure I appreciate you very much thank you and thank you for reading and hanging in there sounds like broken record I don't know what else to say except express my thanks once again have a great evening!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I am glad you found this peace. I sure you will find it again. Thank you for sharing this with us.
The rest is gravy on an already cooked roast. my foot continues to heal
some parts still (My In notes))
"Ya?" He asked. (he)
smells coming from the kitchen. the memories from a few hours earlier came flooding back. (The)
It was so very surreal and yet very much like the imaginings I had as a child. (images??)
None of what you have told us goes beyond this room right everyone?" as she looked around the table. (She looked around the table.)
the home was cherry and the people were kind. (cheery)
P turned and looked at me, "you comin'? I got Blade Runner." (me. "You...)
ll, you kids go on...watch your movie." Mrs. B said. (movie," Mrs.)
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2024
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I am glad you found this peace. I sure you will find it again. Thank you for sharing this with us.
The rest is gravy on an already cooked roast. my foot continues to heal
some parts still (My In notes))
"Ya?" He asked. (he)
smells coming from the kitchen. the memories from a few hours earlier came flooding back. (The)
It was so very surreal and yet very much like the imaginings I had as a child. (images??)
None of what you have told us goes beyond this room right everyone?" as she looked around the table. (She looked around the table.)
the home was cherry and the people were kind. (cheery)
P turned and looked at me, "you comin'? I got Blade Runner." (me. "You...)
ll, you kids go on...watch your movie." Mrs. B said. (movie," Mrs.)
Comment Written 04-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2024
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Hi Barbara I hope this evening finds you well! Thank you very much for reading and offering your comments once again! I always appreciate you this is so weird how the year begins like this I haven't experienced that before but thank you again I hope you have a great evening I'm taking all your suggestions to heart and putting them to work I hope you are well and thx!
Comment from EILEEN LAW
Peace, safety, comfort. Such fleeting things. These things so hard to trust as trust is always broken. Nice to have a calm chapter. Well written, just a few commas. I love your poetry, a real talent there. Best of luck!
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2024
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Peace, safety, comfort. Such fleeting things. These things so hard to trust as trust is always broken. Nice to have a calm chapter. Well written, just a few commas. I love your poetry, a real talent there. Best of luck!
Comment Written 04-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2024
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Thank you Eileen again for this great review I shall appreciate it I'm truly honored and humbled I hope that you're having a fantastic day and thank you again!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Oh Lea, thank Goodness to read something of depth right now. I've not been here for the start of the year so not used to this almighty clamour for quantity over quality! Your story is so beautifully heartfelt and I'm very moved by it. This much deserved tranquility and trust that you're beginning to enjoy. There's still a little questioning on your part (a normal wariness with Mr B) but you're starting to unravel all that tension and struggle that has become an intrinsic part of you for so long. There are some small edits: To these people (who) barely know me; same family that took me (in?) (perhaps try and keep to one tense here - you move from the past to the present tense a little awkwardly?); (again) we (were) all having tea...; with this family (-) the air was light...; I never felt(it) before in my life... Your write as ever, powerfully expressed. Well done, Lea, and good luck! Debbie x
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2024
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Oh Lea, thank Goodness to read something of depth right now. I've not been here for the start of the year so not used to this almighty clamour for quantity over quality! Your story is so beautifully heartfelt and I'm very moved by it. This much deserved tranquility and trust that you're beginning to enjoy. There's still a little questioning on your part (a normal wariness with Mr B) but you're starting to unravel all that tension and struggle that has become an intrinsic part of you for so long. There are some small edits: To these people (who) barely know me; same family that took me (in?) (perhaps try and keep to one tense here - you move from the past to the present tense a little awkwardly?); (again) we (were) all having tea...; with this family (-) the air was light...; I never felt(it) before in my life... Your write as ever, powerfully expressed. Well done, Lea, and good luck! Debbie x
Comment Written 04-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2024
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Right sometimes I do change tenses I have to read a little bit better thank you very much for that as you know always precious to me for others to see these things and point them out especially from you so thank you! I hope that you're well and having a great evening I appreciate you reading and offering your comments always and forever well I appreciate that have a great night thank you again!
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This chapter shows how much of a relief it is to be around people who are part of a functioning family. I appreciated reading it.
A couple of suggestions:
"Hey...hey lazy ass. Wake up, dinner time. You gonna sleep your life away? Hahaha! I'm just kidding get up dinner time," P teased.
I would punctuate it a little more, maybe like this:
"Hey...hey, lazy ass. Wake up; it's dinner time. You gonna sleep your life away? Ha ha ha! I'm just kidding. Get up; it really is dinner time," P teased.
Here is a run-on: The family joked amongst each other while they ate. Talked about their jobs, their day and different people in their lives.
I think you could combine these two sentences, like this:
The family joked amongst each other while they ate and talked about their jobs, their day, and different people in their lives.
Here is another kind of run-on. I think it could be shortened.
I have taken a couple chances before one of which I was lucky to get out of but it didn't feel like that with this family the air was light, the home was cherry and the people were kind.
Maybe try:
I have taken a couple chances before, one of which I was lucky to get out of. But it didn't feel like that with this family: the air was light, the home was cheerful, and the people were kind.
(I guess by air you mean the atmosphere.)
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2024
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This chapter shows how much of a relief it is to be around people who are part of a functioning family. I appreciated reading it.
A couple of suggestions:
"Hey...hey lazy ass. Wake up, dinner time. You gonna sleep your life away? Hahaha! I'm just kidding get up dinner time," P teased.
I would punctuate it a little more, maybe like this:
"Hey...hey, lazy ass. Wake up; it's dinner time. You gonna sleep your life away? Ha ha ha! I'm just kidding. Get up; it really is dinner time," P teased.
Here is a run-on: The family joked amongst each other while they ate. Talked about their jobs, their day and different people in their lives.
I think you could combine these two sentences, like this:
The family joked amongst each other while they ate and talked about their jobs, their day, and different people in their lives.
Here is another kind of run-on. I think it could be shortened.
I have taken a couple chances before one of which I was lucky to get out of but it didn't feel like that with this family the air was light, the home was cherry and the people were kind.
Maybe try:
I have taken a couple chances before, one of which I was lucky to get out of. But it didn't feel like that with this family: the air was light, the home was cheerful, and the people were kind.
(I guess by air you mean the atmosphere.)
Comment Written 04-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2024
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Hi Christy thank you again I so appreciate you you know especially when you give me these great edit suggestions they're so very helpful thank you! I appreciate you so very much reading and offering your comments and giving your fine ready you are appreciated I hope that you're having a great night and all is well with you thank you!
Comment from Iza Deleanu
So there were some happy moments too. I like the idea of that lake that helps you focus on the positive. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2024
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So there were some happy moments too. I like the idea of that lake that helps you focus on the positive. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2024
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Thank you Iza! Thank you for stopping and reading once again I appreciate it so very much and I thank you for your interest and for offering your fine comments I hope you had a wonderful Christmas I hope your new year was great and I hope you have everything you wish for in 2024 have a great night and thank you again!