Comment from Tom Horonzy

Excellent

You have written an intriguing story, and the best line for me was ...
I opened up a crossword puzzle book and climbed in. For me it would have been and search word puzzler.

 Comment Written 08-Dec-2024

---

reply by the author on 10-Dec-2024

Thanks for the review. It was a great time to be a kid. No charger required.

Comment from Ric Myworld

Excellent

I enjoy everything you write, but as you know already, I'm a prose person. So, I enjoy your stories most. I prefer fiction filled with calculated lies and twisted imaginations. But sometimes, truth truly can be stranger than fiction. Great job! Wish I had a six.

 Comment Written 07-Dec-2024

---

reply by the author on 07-Dec-2024

Yes, my truth was a strange one for a while. I never thought so at the time, but when I read it, I sometimes hesitate to share it. Thanks for reading it.

Comment from lancellot

Good

Interesting recounting of how your character's marriage to Eddie happened. I would recommend more showing than all telling or narrating. See, we are told about an enduring love, but do the readers actually see it?

Also, this needs paragraph structure.

notes:

I wasn't enthralled to be embedded in a group of noisy adults (among the adults) in a cabin without a bathroom, so I opened up a crossword puzzle book and climbed in.
-remove-
I wasn't enthralled to be embedded in a group of noisy adults in a cabin without a bathroom, so I opened up a crossword puzzle book and climbed in.

 Comment Written 07-Dec-2024

---

reply by the author on 07-Dec-2024

Thanks for reviewing. I appreciate your helpful suggestions.