Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Part Three of Chapter One"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
80 total reviews
Comment from MelB
You've done a good job of explaining how these abusive men operate. I like the way Troy explains the cycle of abuse. I'm sorry to hear you are dealing with cancer or were. I hope it has gone in remission.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2017
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You've done a good job of explaining how these abusive men operate. I like the way Troy explains the cycle of abuse. I'm sorry to hear you are dealing with cancer or were. I hope it has gone in remission.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2017
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Thank you, again.
Comment from NaughtieScribe
Wow, another strong chapter. I can truly feel for Anna. She needs to be concerned for ther son first. That said I'm sure Bobby is gonna find some reason to make her pay dearly for being a good mother.
reply by the author on 14-May-2012
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Wow, another strong chapter. I can truly feel for Anna. She needs to be concerned for ther son first. That said I'm sure Bobby is gonna find some reason to make her pay dearly for being a good mother.
Comment Written 14-May-2012
reply by the author on 14-May-2012
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Thank you for the kind review. He does make her pay dearly.
Comment from linnietwotymez
Growing up around domestic violence is hard and extremely difficult. I know all too well. I can't wait to read on and find out what will happen next
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2012
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Growing up around domestic violence is hard and extremely difficult. I know all too well. I can't wait to read on and find out what will happen next
Comment Written 31-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2012
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You gave em a five star review but only rated it four stars. I am confused. What should I change to get five stars?
Comment from rzubey
Wow, the tension builds. I'm really liking your story. I can't believe that Bobby wouldn't let Anna take Michael to the doctor. It just makes no sense. He came roaring after Anna, but didn't get his son. I'm getting involved. That, to me, is a good story. I'm really excited to see where this will go. I'm really glad I decided to read your story from the beginning. It's drawn me in and has me hooked. Still no faults to find.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2012
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Wow, the tension builds. I'm really liking your story. I can't believe that Bobby wouldn't let Anna take Michael to the doctor. It just makes no sense. He came roaring after Anna, but didn't get his son. I'm getting involved. That, to me, is a good story. I'm really excited to see where this will go. I'm really glad I decided to read your story from the beginning. It's drawn me in and has me hooked. Still no faults to find.
Comment Written 27-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2012
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Thank you
Comment from Tammara
This turning out to be such a good story. I am just so sorry that you had to go through this.
Tammara
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2011
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This turning out to be such a good story. I am just so sorry that you had to go through this.
Tammara
Comment Written 21-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Tamis Renteria
I like the interior dialogue. And I like how you advance the story with Troy observing an incident with the husband on the street.
Watch the POV, point of view. I should have mentioned that in the earlier selection where you switch from her point of view to his. It's best if you don't switch POV in the middle of a section, because it can really confuse a reader. Even the best writers have trouble with POV, so keep it simple.
Good plotting. This story really moves right along.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2011
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I like the interior dialogue. And I like how you advance the story with Troy observing an incident with the husband on the street.
Watch the POV, point of view. I should have mentioned that in the earlier selection where you switch from her point of view to his. It's best if you don't switch POV in the middle of a section, because it can really confuse a reader. Even the best writers have trouble with POV, so keep it simple.
Good plotting. This story really moves right along.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2011
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The rest of my readers were not confused. Thank you.
Comment from Roberta Joan Jensen
I'm waiting to see what Troy does for a living. Is he a counselor? He rides a bike. Is he a cop? You've really got me guessing.
Didn't spot any spags.
Roberta
Troy watched Anna through the bookstore window. [Incomplete sentence]When he heard the rumble of loud pipes coming toward them and turned his head. Hmm, he must have Gibson headers on that thing. The sound stopped close to Anna. He watched a tall muscular man[] jump from a customized pick-up and run toward her.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2011
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I'm waiting to see what Troy does for a living. Is he a counselor? He rides a bike. Is he a cop? You've really got me guessing.
Didn't spot any spags.
Roberta
Troy watched Anna through the bookstore window. [Incomplete sentence]When he heard the rumble of loud pipes coming toward them and turned his head. Hmm, he must have Gibson headers on that thing. The sound stopped close to Anna. He watched a tall muscular man[] jump from a customized pick-up and run toward her.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2011
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Thank you for the kind review. Troy is a civil engineer, but there's a lot more to him, that we will discover much later.
Comment from writerwish
I think the breaking up of the chapters makes this just the right length for easy reading. Holds interest and flows well.
Just one change possibly
Comma or and between satisfied...my Insurance
reply by the author on 07-May-2011
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I think the breaking up of the chapters makes this just the right length for easy reading. Holds interest and flows well.
Just one change possibly
Comma or and between satisfied...my Insurance
Comment Written 06-May-2011
reply by the author on 07-May-2011
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I received a rating of three stars on one of these posts because it was too short. Thank you for understanding why I did it this way.
Comment from charolette.garrett
I liked the fact that it keeps my interest and I want to know if Troy will rescue her. However, in the beginning I was a bit confused because of the way the husband enter the scene but I soon came to realize that we were reading from Troys point of view. But i would like to know what are Gibson headers.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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I liked the fact that it keeps my interest and I want to know if Troy will rescue her. However, in the beginning I was a bit confused because of the way the husband enter the scene but I soon came to realize that we were reading from Troys point of view. But i would like to know what are Gibson headers.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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Gibson headers are a brand of exhausts that make tons of noise. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Barbara. Hope you are doing much better. I see you have finished another fine chapter in your book. Bravo! Great writing as usual. I do have a couple of suggestions, if I may:
"He watched the dark haired man grab her arm and heard him yell." ( For a smoother sound "He watched the dark-haired man grab her arm then yell Or and yell)
"She turned on the engine and drove toward home." (she started the car)
"
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2011
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Hi, Barbara. Hope you are doing much better. I see you have finished another fine chapter in your book. Bravo! Great writing as usual. I do have a couple of suggestions, if I may:
"He watched the dark haired man grab her arm and heard him yell." ( For a smoother sound "He watched the dark-haired man grab her arm then yell Or and yell)
"She turned on the engine and drove toward home." (she started the car)
"
Comment Written 24-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2011
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I originally had started the car, but I was afraid I would get gigged for my describing enough. I will go back to started the care. I like make the corrections. Thank you for your review and support.
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Remmmmm. Remmmmm. Remmmmm. There it's started, Barb. Bob