Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Part two chapter three"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
90 total reviews
Comment from MelB
This guy is truly amazing! She has to end up with him, unless that diagnosis is something really bad. He's great with Michael too.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2017
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This guy is truly amazing! She has to end up with him, unless that diagnosis is something really bad. He's great with Michael too.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2017
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God Bless
Comment from NaughtieScribe
Oh I hope you are not setting me up for a heartache. Troy is exactly the type of Man Anna and Michael needs. But I'm still worried about Bobby. I know a little of what's to come but not how we got there, and not what happens after. Oh this is too gut wrenchingly addictive. Good job.
reply by the author on 17-May-2012
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Oh I hope you are not setting me up for a heartache. Troy is exactly the type of Man Anna and Michael needs. But I'm still worried about Bobby. I know a little of what's to come but not how we got there, and not what happens after. Oh this is too gut wrenchingly addictive. Good job.
Comment Written 17-May-2012
reply by the author on 17-May-2012
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I will not tell you the ending. Thank you for the kind review.
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Oh please don't spoil it for me. I'm enjoying the journey.
Comment from rzubey
I'm so glad that Anna met Troy, even though he seems too good to be true right now. But maybe too good to be true is just what Anna needs right now. I'm really glad that someone is showing her some kindness. The only quibble is that you haven't given us the same backstory for Anna that you did for Troy. I would really like to know more about Anna. I really care about her.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2012
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I'm so glad that Anna met Troy, even though he seems too good to be true right now. But maybe too good to be true is just what Anna needs right now. I'm really glad that someone is showing her some kindness. The only quibble is that you haven't given us the same backstory for Anna that you did for Troy. I would really like to know more about Anna. I really care about her.
Comment Written 27-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2012
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Later in the story you will have more background on Anna.
Comment from Tamis Renteria
This is a nice development of their relationship, as he brings her child to her, and talks to her about getting a lawyer. You could ramp up the conflict and the interest in the scene if she protests a little more about him getting the lawyer, or she struggles internally with her fears so that we the readers can feel all the conflict she's experiencing.
Again, lots of dialogue without a break. But the dialogue is good; it just needs to be interspersed with descriptions.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2011
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This is a nice development of their relationship, as he brings her child to her, and talks to her about getting a lawyer. You could ramp up the conflict and the interest in the scene if she protests a little more about him getting the lawyer, or she struggles internally with her fears so that we the readers can feel all the conflict she's experiencing.
Again, lots of dialogue without a break. But the dialogue is good; it just needs to be interspersed with descriptions.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2011
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thank you
Comment from Roberta Joan Jensen
"Before Dad retired, he was a lawyer. I went to see him[.]"
Troy stood beside Michael's crib[. A] nurse came up and asked, "Are you a family member?"
"Hello[,] Dad." Troy glanced toward Anna off and on during the conversation.
This may be premature because you might cover in future chapters, but bobby's going to be chaaarged with domestic violence, maybe assault and battery, and child abuse. Even though Michael only has bruises, the courts don't take that lightly--especially since he's a baby. Further, if he's let out on bail, conditions of his probation is that he's not to go anywhere near his wife or child or home. they use to place a one-hundred feet restriction on, but lately I've seen one-thousand or even fifteen hundred feet away. He would be ordered to have no contact with them--either in person, by phone, mail, email, or through a third person. Any violation of these conditions of release would get hionm thrown back in jail pending his trial, without the possibility of bail.
Roberta
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2011
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"Before Dad retired, he was a lawyer. I went to see him[.]"
Troy stood beside Michael's crib[. A] nurse came up and asked, "Are you a family member?"
"Hello[,] Dad." Troy glanced toward Anna off and on during the conversation.
This may be premature because you might cover in future chapters, but bobby's going to be chaaarged with domestic violence, maybe assault and battery, and child abuse. Even though Michael only has bruises, the courts don't take that lightly--especially since he's a baby. Further, if he's let out on bail, conditions of his probation is that he's not to go anywhere near his wife or child or home. they use to place a one-hundred feet restriction on, but lately I've seen one-thousand or even fifteen hundred feet away. He would be ordered to have no contact with them--either in person, by phone, mail, email, or through a third person. Any violation of these conditions of release would get hionm thrown back in jail pending his trial, without the possibility of bail.
Roberta
Comment Written 10-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2011
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I think I have covered that, but I am sure you will let me know. At least I hope you do.
Comment from Queenise
I'm still loving this story and your knowledge and passion for this story shines all the way through. Not an easy topic to write but you do it with finesse. I salute you. Superb. Queenise
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2011
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I'm still loving this story and your knowledge and passion for this story shines all the way through. Not an easy topic to write but you do it with finesse. I salute you. Superb. Queenise
Comment Written 15-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2011
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Thank you, I really do appreciate it.
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You are more than welcome,Barbara. Queenise
Comment from writerwish
This is getting exciting enough for me to not put it down. Now another question.
Does Dad or Mom get capitalized? I don't know the formal rule..Sometimes you do and sometimes you don't capitalize in here. Let me know.. Puleeze...
reply by the author on 07-May-2011
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This is getting exciting enough for me to not put it down. Now another question.
Does Dad or Mom get capitalized? I don't know the formal rule..Sometimes you do and sometimes you don't capitalize in here. Let me know.. Puleeze...
Comment Written 06-May-2011
reply by the author on 07-May-2011
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If Mom or Dad are used as a name they are capitalized, if it's used as my mom or my dad no it's not capitalized. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from jackiesmuse
I read the last part and went back to read the entire chapter. Glad I did.
Just a few things:
He closed his eyes and gulped. "Before Dad retired, he was a lawyer. I went to see him(.)" He...
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He perched on it's (its) edge.
Nice writing. I really like the characters I have met.
:-) Jackie
reply by the author on 04-May-2011
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I read the last part and went back to read the entire chapter. Glad I did.
Just a few things:
He closed his eyes and gulped. "Before Dad retired, he was a lawyer. I went to see him(.)" He...
------
He perched on it's (its) edge.
Nice writing. I really like the characters I have met.
:-) Jackie
Comment Written 04-May-2011
reply by the author on 04-May-2011
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Thank you for your kind reivew and I will make the corrections.
Comment from Jonez08
The emotions are raw in this chapter. Although it's said not to leave one relationship and go right into another one, the pace you've set for these two is perfect, while solving her problems a bond between is being established. It would be impossible not to fall for Troy, his character is one that any woman would love.
He leaned over and kissed the baby's cheek. "That's from your mommy. She told me to tell you she loves you very much."
(aaah, sweet. I feel very weepy after reviewing today)
"Hello(,) Dad."
Cassandra
reply by the author on 01-May-2011
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The emotions are raw in this chapter. Although it's said not to leave one relationship and go right into another one, the pace you've set for these two is perfect, while solving her problems a bond between is being established. It would be impossible not to fall for Troy, his character is one that any woman would love.
He leaned over and kissed the baby's cheek. "That's from your mommy. She told me to tell you she loves you very much."
(aaah, sweet. I feel very weepy after reviewing today)
"Hello(,) Dad."
Cassandra
Comment Written 01-May-2011
reply by the author on 01-May-2011
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Thank you for your kind review. I appreciate your support and friendship.
Comment from wiskas677@yandex.ru
As always almost perfectly written. (Unfortunately) It seems like you really know your material. I saw no spag issues whatsoever. Great job!
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2011
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As always almost perfectly written. (Unfortunately) It seems like you really know your material. I saw no spag issues whatsoever. Great job!
Comment Written 28-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.