Reviews from

Lonely Hearts Meet

Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "Part 3, Chapter 6"
Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.

79 total reviews 
Comment from NaughtieScribe
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Too kewl. Even though you knew it would be Anna, the chapter was so well written, and contained a nice little twist that it all fell into place. Moving on.

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2012


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2012
    Thank you so much.
Comment from rzubey
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The suspense is back. That is what I truly love about your story. When I read the part where Troy is looking up and down the street I started holding my breath. I still am. Nice job.

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Roberta Joan Jensen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Once the three were inside Troy's office, he shut and locked [the door]. --- As written, you're saying he shut the office and locked it.

"About a year after you became part of Betty and Paul's family[,] I found out about an underground organization

"I'm having a hard time believing[,] as Dad and I worried about your safety, my aunt knew where you were."

The fewer people who know where they are[,] the less chance they have of being discovered."

Dad spent today trying to keep him in jail a few more days. --- Isn't this supposed to be around 6am? Or, in the previous chapter, was Troy leaving his office around 6pm?

"I'll talk with Dad. He'll contact you." Troy walked toward the door. "Is there any way Anna can stay in one spot long enough to get all the paperwork filed?" --- In this situation, Paul would copy whatever's been filed at the courthouse. Since the files are public records that anyone can look at, he can get those copies without being Anna's attorney. The name, address, and phone number of Bobby's attorney would be on the paperwork. Paul would contact him and say that he's going to be Anna's lawyer and will accept service. Bobby's lawyer will either mail or have delivered the divorce papers to Paul. Paull will then prepare and sign an Acceptance of service and sign it and file it. The date he signs it is the date Anna is served and the clock for the case starts running at that time. Paul would then prepare the response to the Petition for Divorce and another Response to the petition for Temporary Orders, re Custody, Support, and whatever else Bobby is asking for. Paul would prepare a Request for Protected address, attach Bobby's arrest papers, and get it signed. Then, in his Responsesk, he would say that Anna's address is protected by order of the court and her address is c/o his office address. Anna would then have to meet him somewhere to sign the papers. Paul would file all those papers along with his Notice of Appearance, which simply says that he is representing Anna in this case. All this means that Anna wouldn't have to stay in one place any longer than the program calls for. She would simply keep in touch with Paul by phone and meet with him in person only when absolutely necessary. At the time of the hearing, Paul would ask for a deputy sheriff to attend them intot he courtroom for her safety and the deputy would stay with her the whole time. Further, Bobby should be in jail and would be brought to the court in handcuffs and held in the holding cell till the hearing begins. As mean and rough as Bobby is, he'd probably be brought over to two deputies to subdue him in case he got out of hand.,

Roberta

 Comment Written 16-Sep-2011


reply by the author on 17-Sep-2011
    Thank you again
Comment from Queenise
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

See. This is one of the reasons you get so caught up in this story. It is so real that you become personally involved and its only a story. but what a great one. Queenise

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2011


reply by the author on 15-Jul-2011
    I strive to put the reader in the story. Sometimes I fail.
reply by Queenise on 15-Jul-2011
    You did a good job at it this time. Queenise
Comment from moyramouse
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Now you have revealed how Anna and Bobby were spirited away from the hospital and the network of support that welcomed them into their homes. So Aunt Margaret has been a part of this network without the family being aware. I think Anna must be aware that Troy has feelings for her, but is she in any fit state to return them. After enduring such abuse it must be very hard to trust men again. At least she knows that she has good legal help and that she doesn't have to worry about the cost. xxmouse

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2011


reply by the author on 11-Jul-2011
    Thank you for your kind review. I am sorry you read this without the bonus points attached.
reply by moyramouse on 11-Jul-2011
    I would have read it for nothing:):) I am enjoying this story and because I have been off site for almost two weeks I have a lot of catching up. xx
Comment from Deorre Leonard
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I am glad that Anna is getting the help that she needs to get away from her husband. So many woman never get help. This is a good story.

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2011


reply by the author on 09-Jul-2011
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Patrick Jordan
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I was sick so I lost some of the story-line, however my initial comments still stand. You have tackled brilliantly how a woman finds herself in this position, and the difficulty in getting out. A social worker friend just told me that a woman in this position will go back to her abusive situation 7 times before she gathers enough courage to make a change. God bless them.

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2011


reply by the author on 09-Jul-2011
    Some will. I appreciate your review and insight. I hope you are feeling better.
Comment from Writingfundimension
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi, barbara. This is a superb chapter. Your writing is tight and the dialogue perfect. In the context of the story, you also manage to provide some very valuable information on the underground network for battered women.
Really well done! Warm regards, Bev

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2011


reply by the author on 09-Jul-2011
    Thank you for your kind review.
reply by Writingfundimension on 09-Jul-2011
    You are very welcome, barbara.
Comment from JennTan
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A nice story with touching scenarios though. Thank you for sharing this part of a wonderful story. I had enjoyed it all the way throughout, thank you.

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2011


reply by the author on 09-Jul-2011
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from MissMerri
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You tell this story so convincingly, the reader feels as if she's experiencing it along with Anna. I'm totally hooked and rooting for some joy to come into her life. Your dialogue is well written and the characters seeme to have distinct personalities, which isn't always easy to do I know. Keep going. This is great.

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2011


reply by the author on 09-Jul-2011
    Thank you for your kind review and encouraging words.