Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 43 "Part 4, Chapter 13"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
77 total reviews
Comment from NaughtieScribe
This is where it get stupid, not your story but the situation. This is the mental terrorism that abusers like to play when they aren't allowed to do it themselves. What I never understood is why others would be willing to go along with it.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2012
  |
This is where it get stupid, not your story but the situation. This is the mental terrorism that abusers like to play when they aren't allowed to do it themselves. What I never understood is why others would be willing to go along with it.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2012
-
Thank you.
Comment from Darren Crozier
Barbara :)
I loved this!
It flowed perfectly, was easy to read, had no Grammar or spelling mistakes and most importantly had a message about Domestic abuse that I think was very brave of you to write about.
Well done friend.
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2011
|
Barbara :)
I loved this!
It flowed perfectly, was easy to read, had no Grammar or spelling mistakes and most importantly had a message about Domestic abuse that I think was very brave of you to write about.
Well done friend.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from wiljacro
HI! barbara. So now the mystery continues. It's really great to have one's imagination so stimulated that you try to think ahead of the story to try and guess just what will happen next. I personaly think that this is the test of a good mistery story, can't wait for what comes next. wiljacro.
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2011
|
HI! barbara. So now the mystery continues. It's really great to have one's imagination so stimulated that you try to think ahead of the story to try and guess just what will happen next. I personaly think that this is the test of a good mistery story, can't wait for what comes next. wiljacro.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Readywriter52
Anna is right to be frightened. Someone on the phone is trying to frighten her. I hope that Troy can help her. It appears that her problems haven't disappeared.
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2011
|
Anna is right to be frightened. Someone on the phone is trying to frighten her. I hope that Troy can help her. It appears that her problems haven't disappeared.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2011
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from JanieH
This is the first chapter I've read of this story however it has definately left me wanting to read more. One thing I would like to see is perhaps a little more of a description about their suroundings for example the smell of the office, the dimness of the lighting, the ambience in the cafe and so forth... feed the imagination a little more. Perhaps even a little more about their appearance... other than that I think it is a really easy and interesting read.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2011
 |
This is the first chapter I've read of this story however it has definately left me wanting to read more. One thing I would like to see is perhaps a little more of a description about their suroundings for example the smell of the office, the dimness of the lighting, the ambience in the cafe and so forth... feed the imagination a little more. Perhaps even a little more about their appearance... other than that I think it is a really easy and interesting read.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2011
-
I walked into our front office and to be perfectly honest there was no smell. Your review caused me to pull out my wrtiting guides to writing romance novels. I quote, "The romance genre is like the fashion industry. Styles change. Fifteen years ago, long wordy historical were all the rage. Authors often put the action on hold so they could spend paragraphs or even pages, describing costumes and scenery. The longer and more flowery the sentences, the better. Now the opposite is true. In romances today ...
Narration is kep to a minimum.
Costume descriptions are brief and usually just long enough to set the scene.
There is a lot of dialogue, which is often used instead of narraion to pass along expoisition (information) to the reader.
The story frequently starts in the middle of a scene to make sure the pace gets off to a roaring start."
I hope this helps and I may have made a few typos.
-
Hi Barbara,
Thank you for your email. My review was based only on my personal preference as I personally don't follow any guidelines other than what feels right for me. If this is your perefered style than it works perfectly well. I guess I'm more of a visual person in general and there for I respond better to more descriptive writing to paint the picture so to speak. With that said the beauty of writing is it's interpretation and like like people, every piece is individual and everyone responds differently depending on their interpretation and style. I still enjoyed your work and will continue to follow it when I can.
Best wishes,
Janie
Comment from Veronica Grace
A good chapter, although I haven't read the ones before, I caught the storyline immediately. I have to get to know the characters who sound interesting from this enjoyable read. I saw nothing that needed correcting or changing.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2011
|
A good chapter, although I haven't read the ones before, I caught the storyline immediately. I have to get to know the characters who sound interesting from this enjoyable read. I saw nothing that needed correcting or changing.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2011
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Auroraboreal800
Anna's problems seems endless. This is a very dramatic chapter, with very intensive dialogues. Great work once again!!
EXCELLENT JOB Barbara!
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2011
|
Anna's problems seems endless. This is a very dramatic chapter, with very intensive dialogues. Great work once again!!
EXCELLENT JOB Barbara!
Comment Written 07-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Piggies Grandma
I enjoyed reading this chapter very much Barbara. It is cleverly written and very well thought out. I hope nothing happens to Anna.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2011
|
I enjoyed reading this chapter very much Barbara. It is cleverly written and very well thought out. I hope nothing happens to Anna.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
It must take a long time, if it ever happens , for the fear to go away after an abusive situation. I have terrible nightmares and sleep poorly for no real reason. It wears you down really fast-that plus all her stress - makes me tired just thinking about it. Another well written post!!! Debbie
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2011
|
It must take a long time, if it ever happens , for the fear to go away after an abusive situation. I have terrible nightmares and sleep poorly for no real reason. It wears you down really fast-that plus all her stress - makes me tired just thinking about it. Another well written post!!! Debbie
Comment Written 07-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Tonulak
Starting the chapter with the ominous phone call began a subtle layer of tension. Though it proceded through rather normal routines, that tension somehow lingered. The reprise of the muffler sound at the restaurant was aneffective closing. Cars definately have their own signature, if you listen well. Edited and presented well.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2011
|
Starting the chapter with the ominous phone call began a subtle layer of tension. Though it proceded through rather normal routines, that tension somehow lingered. The reprise of the muffler sound at the restaurant was aneffective closing. Cars definately have their own signature, if you listen well. Edited and presented well.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review.