Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 66 "Anna's in a coma."Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
81 total reviews
Comment from NaughtieScribe
You really know how to wring every drop of emotion out of your reader. I'm so on the edge willing Anna to come back. I hope Michal screams his little lungs out until she sits up and holds him under her own strength. Yet another great chapter. I only saw one spag (struggled nn Betty's arms).
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2012
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You really know how to wring every drop of emotion out of your reader. I'm so on the edge willing Anna to come back. I hope Michal screams his little lungs out until she sits up and holds him under her own strength. Yet another great chapter. I only saw one spag (struggled nn Betty's arms).
Comment Written 04-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2012
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Thank you for the kind review and eagle eye.
Comment from Roberta Joan Jensen
He struggled [i]n Betty's arms. His own flung toward his mother. [Betty almost dropped him.] --- Not necessary because of what Betty says.
"Whoa, little guy. I almost dropped you."
You sure know how to stretch it out.
Roberta
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2012
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He struggled [i]n Betty's arms. His own flung toward his mother. [Betty almost dropped him.] --- Not necessary because of what Betty says.
"Whoa, little guy. I almost dropped you."
You sure know how to stretch it out.
Roberta
Comment Written 31-May-2012
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from CALLAHANMR
Hi Barbara:)
1. "Paul, get the doctor. He probably needs to know this and won't believe it. He'll need to see it for himself." Betty motioned toward her husband.
Michael called for his mother, and Anna's eye lids kept moving. Troy, Margaret, and Betty encouraged her to come out of the coma. (I question the statement that the doctor probably won't believe that Anna's eyelids fluttered when she heard Michael's voice. So far as I can tell from the story, there is no encephalograph hooked up to monitor Anna's brain waves. Unless a person is brain dead, they will often respond to stimuli in some way. Even when under an anesthetic. a patient remembers every word spoken within hearing distance. This has been proven by hypnotic recall and is the reason music is now played during many operations. In fact. I have demonstrated this phenomenon to my medical hypnosis students many times.}
2. The doctor stepped closer. "I saw it, but I don't believe it or understand it."
Troy rubbed Anna's hand. "What does it mean?"
"I'm not sure what it means, but I'm sure it's good." A smile crept across the doctor's lips. {I don't believe a neurosurgeon would dismiss any response this easily. most likely, he would be noncommittal until he could see an encephalogram.}
3. "Comatose patients don't respond to outside stimuli." The doctor sighed. {Again, I think this is erroneous. There was a time before about 1950 when this was a prevalent belief. I also doubt that the doctor would suppy a time frame of
4. I doubt that doctor would give a time table for the end of a coma as shown here:
He studied Anna's face. "There's movement, but I still doubt it means anything significant. I don't want to get your hopes up. I think it'll take a week or two." He started to leave. "Sorry." {There are many factors involved, but the doctor would need to know about swelling and intracranial pressure be fore giving such an opinion.}
It has been many years since I studied and taught neurophysiology and some newer tools such as MRI might pinpoint the recovery time more accurately. I suggest that you have a neurosurgeon look over your draft of this chapter. Of course yo can give more credence to the doctor by having him mention MRI or EEG results.
5. I have some doubts that a patient like Anna would be in a private room.An intensive care unite wold be more likely. Of course, that would mean one visitor at a time and it would be most unusual to allow children.
I do like the suspense in this chapter. I am just wottied about the authenticity of this important scene.
I hope I haven't caused you trauma with my questions and suggestions. I am still giving you five stars becuse only minor changes can strengthen this chapter.
Love and Irish Hugs,
Roger
reply by the author on 27-May-2012
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Hi Barbara:)
1. "Paul, get the doctor. He probably needs to know this and won't believe it. He'll need to see it for himself." Betty motioned toward her husband.
Michael called for his mother, and Anna's eye lids kept moving. Troy, Margaret, and Betty encouraged her to come out of the coma. (I question the statement that the doctor probably won't believe that Anna's eyelids fluttered when she heard Michael's voice. So far as I can tell from the story, there is no encephalograph hooked up to monitor Anna's brain waves. Unless a person is brain dead, they will often respond to stimuli in some way. Even when under an anesthetic. a patient remembers every word spoken within hearing distance. This has been proven by hypnotic recall and is the reason music is now played during many operations. In fact. I have demonstrated this phenomenon to my medical hypnosis students many times.}
2. The doctor stepped closer. "I saw it, but I don't believe it or understand it."
Troy rubbed Anna's hand. "What does it mean?"
"I'm not sure what it means, but I'm sure it's good." A smile crept across the doctor's lips. {I don't believe a neurosurgeon would dismiss any response this easily. most likely, he would be noncommittal until he could see an encephalogram.}
3. "Comatose patients don't respond to outside stimuli." The doctor sighed. {Again, I think this is erroneous. There was a time before about 1950 when this was a prevalent belief. I also doubt that the doctor would suppy a time frame of
4. I doubt that doctor would give a time table for the end of a coma as shown here:
He studied Anna's face. "There's movement, but I still doubt it means anything significant. I don't want to get your hopes up. I think it'll take a week or two." He started to leave. "Sorry." {There are many factors involved, but the doctor would need to know about swelling and intracranial pressure be fore giving such an opinion.}
It has been many years since I studied and taught neurophysiology and some newer tools such as MRI might pinpoint the recovery time more accurately. I suggest that you have a neurosurgeon look over your draft of this chapter. Of course yo can give more credence to the doctor by having him mention MRI or EEG results.
5. I have some doubts that a patient like Anna would be in a private room.An intensive care unite wold be more likely. Of course, that would mean one visitor at a time and it would be most unusual to allow children.
I do like the suspense in this chapter. I am just wottied about the authenticity of this important scene.
I hope I haven't caused you trauma with my questions and suggestions. I am still giving you five stars becuse only minor changes can strengthen this chapter.
Love and Irish Hugs,
Roger
Comment Written 21-May-2012
reply by the author on 27-May-2012
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i will take your advice. I researched this for quite awhile, but my sources may have been outdated. A few of my reviewers thought it was very accurate. They had parents who had been in a coma and one person had been in a coma herself.
Comment from djkazmaier
I really enjoyed this chapter. The connection between the child and his mother seems real and it comes through in the writing, as do all the other characters. Great work!
reply by the author on 17-May-2012
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I really enjoyed this chapter. The connection between the child and his mother seems real and it comes through in the writing, as do all the other characters. Great work!
Comment Written 17-May-2012
reply by the author on 17-May-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from missy98writer
Barbara,
I'm not allowed to give you one of my five sizes I have left because I get this message: "You have rewarded this author a six star rating twice in the past thirty days so this rating is not available." Your latest chapter is so heartbreaking of Anna unable to get to her child as he called for at her hospital bedside. Your writing is exceptional, my talented friend. I immensely enjoy your great narrative voiced and excellent detailed writing. What you penned is so realistic. I would recommend your latest chapter to other reviewers to ready. Thank you for entertaining me in with your story telling. Keep on writing your entertaining book chapters with a creative. I'm really sick with a bladder infection, yeast infection and psoriasis on my head and arms. Nice day to you.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 17-May-2012
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Barbara,
I'm not allowed to give you one of my five sizes I have left because I get this message: "You have rewarded this author a six star rating twice in the past thirty days so this rating is not available." Your latest chapter is so heartbreaking of Anna unable to get to her child as he called for at her hospital bedside. Your writing is exceptional, my talented friend. I immensely enjoy your great narrative voiced and excellent detailed writing. What you penned is so realistic. I would recommend your latest chapter to other reviewers to ready. Thank you for entertaining me in with your story telling. Keep on writing your entertaining book chapters with a creative. I'm really sick with a bladder infection, yeast infection and psoriasis on my head and arms. Nice day to you.
Melissa.
Comment Written 17-May-2012
reply by the author on 17-May-2012
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Thank you my dear friend, your virtual six is perfect.
Comment from BrookeClara
This is very well done. You have a great grasp of character and dialogue. I noticed that you write almost in a scrip/screenplay style. Have you considered adapting your writing for tv or film? Brooke
reply by the author on 17-May-2012
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This is very well done. You have a great grasp of character and dialogue. I noticed that you write almost in a scrip/screenplay style. Have you considered adapting your writing for tv or film? Brooke
Comment Written 17-May-2012
reply by the author on 17-May-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Gooloom
Very touching and well written episode. It reinforces one's
belief in miracles. I have read some of your earlier chapters and find your story interesting. Abusive marriages are all over the world and the children are the worst sufferers. Some of them even tend to follow in the footsteps of their abusive parent. Lets hope Anna recovers and Michael and Troy get her back fully recovered. Gooloom
reply by the author on 17-May-2012
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Very touching and well written episode. It reinforces one's
belief in miracles. I have read some of your earlier chapters and find your story interesting. Abusive marriages are all over the world and the children are the worst sufferers. Some of them even tend to follow in the footsteps of their abusive parent. Lets hope Anna recovers and Michael and Troy get her back fully recovered. Gooloom
Comment Written 17-May-2012
reply by the author on 17-May-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Imsharrison
Another good chapter Barbara.
Again you have captured the atmosphere of the situation remarkably well. It is believable and realistic. You have caught the emotion very well indeed.
Good writing.
reply by the author on 17-May-2012
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Another good chapter Barbara.
Again you have captured the atmosphere of the situation remarkably well. It is believable and realistic. You have caught the emotion very well indeed.
Good writing.
Comment Written 17-May-2012
reply by the author on 17-May-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from micci
This is a very well written story about what is a very common thing these days children losing mothers, abusive fathers, I thought you wrote with a lot of emotion you really feel for the child I hope his mother does come out of the coma for him
reply by the author on 17-May-2012
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This is a very well written story about what is a very common thing these days children losing mothers, abusive fathers, I thought you wrote with a lot of emotion you really feel for the child I hope his mother does come out of the coma for him
Comment Written 17-May-2012
reply by the author on 17-May-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from jaeladarling
Wow, this is a great read! I just came into the story, but it's still compelling. What hooked me was Anna being stirred by her son's cries. Very engaging read. Nice work!
reply by the author on 17-May-2012
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Wow, this is a great read! I just came into the story, but it's still compelling. What hooked me was Anna being stirred by her son's cries. Very engaging read. Nice work!
Comment Written 16-May-2012
reply by the author on 17-May-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.