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Reviews from

Don't be bulldozed by family

When a family member manipulates

28 total reviews

Comment from sunao

Exceptional

This work has reached the exceptional level

I am glad that I came across this article. My mother's sister likes to give me advice. But there was this one time where I told her that I did not need her advice anymore and that I am already old enough and know what to do with my life and she told me that I am a bad girl. Just because I did not agree with her. I felt bullied and intimidated. I felt as if she was threatening me because she even told me that if I fight with her she will always win. Therefore, I am planning to leave her house. I can't take it anymore!! Thanks once again.

Comment Written 15-May-2013

reply by the author on 15-May-2013

Sunao, thanks so much for reading, commenting and rating my essay, it means so much to me! About your Aunt, first you must tell yourself that you are NOT a bad girl and then FORGIVE your Aunt for whatever misery she has caused you. Be sure you are clear about those two things. Then buy a small spiral back pad, one you can carry in your purse, and write down the things you want for your life. Be honest and specific. This is not a wish list. This is a biblical principle, whether or not you believe in G-d. If you decide you want to become something, a doctor or nurse; it may mean you need to go back to school, depending on what you want to do with your life. So it is imperative you are serious about what you are jotting down in your note pad. Try to find time to revisit what you've written at least once daily. There may be times you will need to do minor revisions, but your overall vision should stay the same. Soon when your Aunt, or anyone else, says negative things, you will have built a defense mechanism, and their words can't hurt you. This Aunt apparently sees what she perceives as a weakness, so build up your strength by creating the future YOU want. Remember, for all of us, whatever we do starts first, in the mind, with a single idea. You can do anything you set your mind to if you keep it focused on that one thing. I wish you peace and fulfillment.

Comment from squid152

Excellent

Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I never to deal with family politics and hand me downs because I am an only child. This prose sounded very much like a self help book.-Gary

Comment Written 21-Oct-2012

reply by the author on 22-Oct-2012

Thanks, Gary! I don't know whether or not you're lucky to have circumvented the cunning machinations of dysfunctions clans, but you probably are more mentally balanced than a lot of us who must withstand the constant drama most families are capably of. Dossie

Comment from G.B. Smith

Excellent

Hey there Lady
I have to tell you, this mirrored my life early on with my family (I am the baby with 6 older sisters) They all tried to run my life until at 27 I said enough. I stayed away for 30 years. Dumb move two died during that time. I wish I had those years back, but my resolve is still the same. I really associated well with this one
Bear

Comment Written 21-Oct-2012

reply by the author on 22-Oct-2012

Thanks, Glen Bear Smith! I am also the youngest in the family that had seven boys before me. There are at least two that have caused a lot of heartaches for me, so I speak from experience in this one. Thanks so much for the visit and leaving such an enlightening review!

Comment from Spiritual Echo

Excellent

I may offend you with my answer and if I do, take warning, it includes offensive language, but it articulates how I found autonomy in my own life. Now, I really didn't have to do that with my small family, they already knew I could be offensive. But in the business world, where people actually had the time to annoy me or used their status as a weapon I treated them with a provocative shock value.

At forty, I learned how to say no...and gave no reason or excuse.

At fifty, I told people I didn't care...and meant it. There are only so many bleeding hearts in the world without me threatening my own cardiac health.

At sixty, I learned how to tell people to fuck off...and meant it, although why I was steering them towards pleasure, I'll never know.

Now that I am waffling between certain death and qualifying every breath, I welcome the do-gooders into my home...Go ahead...do my laundry...feed me.

Good luck with your own challenges.

Comment Written 20-Oct-2012