Comment from Annalise B.

Excellent

This is adorable! I love hummingbirds...I was not aware that they "hitchhike" on the backs of geese..that's amazing!
It's well written, and the flow is almost perfect except for the last line. May I make a suggestion? I hope you do not mind. Maybe you could drop "...ever since..", so the last line flows perfectly like the others..e.g.
"And sometimes rides on the backs of geese, or so the story says." What do you think, Carolyn?

What do you think, Carolyn?

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2013

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reply by the author on 18-Jan-2013

Thanks, I'm glad you like it. I don't know if the ride is true or not but it is a fun thought.Thanks also for the edit. I agree it is a bit smoother and doesn't lose impact. It's copyrighted so I'm not sure I can change. HOwever,I will try. I am now your fan. Did you become mine yet.? I look forward to following your post. Best always, Carolyn

reply by Annalise B. on 18-Jan-2013

Yes I requested that and got cofirmation. I'm excited! Hope your weekend's goiing great.

Comment from hollyinvesuvianite

Excellent

What a great children's poem- great rhyming scheme to make it easy for them to memorize as well as some fun and educational interaction with other birds. loved the ending! One typo I noticed: (One) day a little hummingbird
Great work on this! Holly:)

 Comment Written 25-Dec-2012

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reply by the author on 26-Dec-2012

Thanks Holly for your review and the typo notification. I will edit better in the future. I enjoyed writing this and all children's stories. Aren't kiddo's a hoot? Best to you, Carolyn

reply by the author on 26-Dec-2012

Thanks Holly for your review and the typo notification. I will edit better in the future. I enjoyed writing this and all children's stories. Aren't kiddo's a hoot? Best to you, Carolyn

Comment from Rondeno

Excellent

This poem is ideal for children, with its heart-warming message of the strong protecting the weak. Very well done indeed!

 Comment Written 25-Dec-2012

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reply by the author on 26-Dec-2012

Thanks for your insightful review. Best wishes always, Carolyn

Comment from 4tulips

Excellent

I am glad you like to write cute little poems for children, it brings a smile to my face as well. You write so fluidly and smooth it makes anybody feel good while reading it to children. I loved the story itself about the little hummingbird flying south, it was so nice of the goose to give him a ride on his back. Very creative. Thanks for posting it here.

 Comment Written 25-Dec-2012

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reply by the author on 25-Dec-2012

And a great big 'Happy Holiday' to you. Thank you for the review. I just happen to have a few more of the children's story poetry running a round in my head. It is so encouraging to make someone else smile. Best wishes always, Carolyn

Comment from Mrs Happy Poet

Excellent

This is very well written my friend children will love this poem reads very well unfolding smoothly I enjoyed well done my friend regards Jill

 Comment Written 24-Dec-2012

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reply by the author on 24-Dec-2012

Hi Jill, I am glad you enjoyed the poem. It was fun to write. Carol

Comment from JM daSilva

Excellent

Clever hummingbird, I like the story.
He asked the Robin "will you fly South this year"? Or do you know"? ( do you know? Maybe if you removed "or" it would sound better)

"Yes (,) I will (,)with all my friends and family" and she ended with a Coo


So the happy little Hummingbird became a hitch hiker (hitchhiker) that day

 Comment Written 23-Dec-2012

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reply by the author on 23-Dec-2012

Thanks so much for the constructive comments. I will pay more attention to detail. I am glad you liked the story.

Comment from lakeport

Excellent

The happy humming hitchhiker indeed that's a very beautiful
story poem, very nice rhyming. I enjoyed reading it. God bless you. lakeport.

 Comment Written 23-Dec-2012

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reply by the author on 23-Dec-2012

Thanks so much for taking time to review the poem and I am glad you enjoyed reading it. God bless you right back :-)

reply by lakeport on 24-Dec-2012

your welcome,Lakeport.
Merry Christmas!

Comment from Deborah Marie

Excellent

What a love story in a poem. I love the way the humming bird becomes a hitch hiker on the back of a dove. Clever idea indeed. A job well done. Peace, Deb

 Comment Written 23-Dec-2012

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reply by the author on 23-Dec-2012

Thank you for your review of the poem and I am glad you liked it. Best wishes for 2013, Carol

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

solid rhyming couplets
Robin answered and said, - add comma
use a comma before each line of dialogue after the speech tag
What a cute story of the goose helping out the tiny hummingbird
I like the use of dialogue and the various bird characters
This is just adorable and sure to tickle the fancy of any child :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 23-Dec-2012

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reply by the author on 23-Dec-2012

Thank you Brooke, I appreciate the editing and you are so right I will pay more attention to detail. I am glad you enjoyed the story. Best wishes and much success in 2013. Carol

Comment from Zinnia48

Excellent

Cute! I think my grandson would enjoy hearing this. I enjoyed the rhythm, the rhyme, and the imaginative story. thaks for your creativity! Caroline

 Comment Written 23-Dec-2012

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reply by the author on 23-Dec-2012

Thanks so much, Caroline. I hope your grandson likes the story. Best wishes for 2013. By the way aren't grandchildren really grand? Carol