The Animal Doctor
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "The Saint Mary's Ball"Love Among the Thorns
33 total reviews
Comment from justmarly
I feel bad I ended up getting the last chapter first but I also feel bad about her turning her back on him. This is a very good story. Thanks for sharing it. Have a good day. Marly
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2013
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I feel bad I ended up getting the last chapter first but I also feel bad about her turning her back on him. This is a very good story. Thanks for sharing it. Have a good day. Marly
Comment Written 09-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2013
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Thank you Marly for going back and reading the previous chapter. They seldom do that on here. I really appreciate you my dear.
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You are more than welcome. Keep up the good work. Marly
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your welcome MJ
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
Wow,a romance in the making.
This chapter flows on well from the last.
I like the introduction of the romance beginning to bud.
Well -written and told.
Interesting and nicely ended.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2013
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Wow,a romance in the making.
This chapter flows on well from the last.
I like the introduction of the romance beginning to bud.
Well -written and told.
Interesting and nicely ended.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2013
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Thank you so much for going back and reading. I really appreciate it.
Comment from Sanku
the first post was very interesting and you mave managed to maintain that interest very well .i will follow this story as you post it ( though sometime i may be late since i dont get much time to come to fan story because of my physical illness).it has ended with a lovely romantic kissing scene .and that has got me hooked!.love
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2013
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the first post was very interesting and you mave managed to maintain that interest very well .i will follow this story as you post it ( though sometime i may be late since i dont get much time to come to fan story because of my physical illness).it has ended with a lovely romantic kissing scene .and that has got me hooked!.love
Comment Written 06-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2013
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Oh thank you Sanku. I really appreciate you going back a reading up to date. And thank you for the six stars. I promise my future chapters won't be as long as the third.
Comment from Jade Lawson
Thank you for sharing this chapter. This is a good development from the first chapter. Indeed, there is a very smooth flow in the dialogue and it kept my interest from beginning till the end. Good descriptions and I could perceive everything in my head, a good imagery indeed. This is a very interesting story and you convey the emotions really well.
She brushed by him, knocking him a little off balance when he gently pulled her into his arms and kissed her. She broke away... loved this one, excellent.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2013
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Thank you for sharing this chapter. This is a good development from the first chapter. Indeed, there is a very smooth flow in the dialogue and it kept my interest from beginning till the end. Good descriptions and I could perceive everything in my head, a good imagery indeed. This is a very interesting story and you convey the emotions really well.
She brushed by him, knocking him a little off balance when he gently pulled her into his arms and kissed her. She broke away... loved this one, excellent.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2013
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Oh bless you , you read them both.
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You are welcome. I missed the chapter 2 so I went back. Too much work to review lately from the people I am following and I missed this one, so I went back. I usually don't review work so much because of the member cents but because I enjoy to read them. If true to be told, if I don't like a story that I am reading, there's no member cents that would make me read it.
I enjoyed the first chapter, so to better understand the third, I had to read the second. Also it would not be fair to you, if I would jump chapters.
Comment from marijmd
I liked the natural flow of the dialogue and you r descriptive language. Up the stairs like little pink rabbits - gave your words strong imagery. I have not read you work before and look forward to more.
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2013
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I liked the natural flow of the dialogue and you r descriptive language. Up the stairs like little pink rabbits - gave your words strong imagery. I have not read you work before and look forward to more.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2013
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Thank you for reading and reviewing my dear.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
I love these kind of stories and you've told it well - with great presentation. all in all, most impressive.
the one thing I would mention though is that you use "said" a good deal. You might consider changing a few to -- commented - stated - uttered - exclaimed - explained -- anything to break it up -
otherwise, most enjoyable.
Margaret
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2013
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I love these kind of stories and you've told it well - with great presentation. all in all, most impressive.
the one thing I would mention though is that you use "said" a good deal. You might consider changing a few to -- commented - stated - uttered - exclaimed - explained -- anything to break it up -
otherwise, most enjoyable.
Margaret
Comment Written 04-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2013
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Thank you Margaret. Good observation. I'll go over and make some changes.
Comment from Gungalo
"You're my brown-eyed angel, you know that?" he whispered in her ear.
"Am I?" She sighed softly.
"Umm hm..."
Sigh Amahra you are such a romantic. I don't know how this could have gotten any more romantic than it did.
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2013
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"You're my brown-eyed angel, you know that?" he whispered in her ear.
"Am I?" She sighed softly.
"Umm hm..."
Sigh Amahra you are such a romantic. I don't know how this could have gotten any more romantic than it did.
Comment Written 03-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2013
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Thank you my dear.
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Smile.
Comment from KYPollard/El Gato
"Get on up horse,"
"Get on up(,) horse,"
one horse
one-horse
wants to be kissed and hard."
wants to be kissed(,) and hard."--Without the comma it sounds like she wants to be kissed and wants to be hard. With the comma it sounds like she wants to be kissed, and kissed hard.
You flesh out your characters well, my friend.
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2013
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"Get on up horse,"
"Get on up(,) horse,"
one horse
one-horse
wants to be kissed and hard."
wants to be kissed(,) and hard."--Without the comma it sounds like she wants to be kissed and wants to be hard. With the comma it sounds like she wants to be kissed, and kissed hard.
You flesh out your characters well, my friend.
Comment Written 03-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2013
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Thank you my dear. Will make the corrections.
Comment from NicciFaye
Excellent chapter. I love how your imagination of this time frame and place are so lively. The chapters, the way the up class people speak differently than the mere, nergo. I descriptions of the children engaging his charming appearance. Very well written.
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2013
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Excellent chapter. I love how your imagination of this time frame and place are so lively. The chapters, the way the up class people speak differently than the mere, nergo. I descriptions of the children engaging his charming appearance. Very well written.
Comment Written 03-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2013
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Thank you NicciFaye.
Comment from TLPhillips
I love the story concept and you're off to a solid start. Though it's hard to tell just what time period we're in and some of your dialogue seems inconsistent. (Ex: "Is that Bay Rum I smell from back there, Sir?" - this feels a bit proper for the character given the few details we've gotten about him.) Also, you gave a vivid description of Margaret but it came a bit late for me. The part about the old man trying to dip his plus-sized wife gave me a chuckle. There were parts where some exposition showing us some kind of details would have been a nice break and given this piece a bit of balance.
I'm oddly intrigued by the story so far(I usually prefer fantasy to general romance). Good Luck and Happy Writing.
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reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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I love the story concept and you're off to a solid start. Though it's hard to tell just what time period we're in and some of your dialogue seems inconsistent. (Ex: "Is that Bay Rum I smell from back there, Sir?" - this feels a bit proper for the character given the few details we've gotten about him.) Also, you gave a vivid description of Margaret but it came a bit late for me. The part about the old man trying to dip his plus-sized wife gave me a chuckle. There were parts where some exposition showing us some kind of details would have been a nice break and given this piece a bit of balance.
I'm oddly intrigued by the story so far(I usually prefer fantasy to general romance). Good Luck and Happy Writing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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Thank you for stopping by.