Summer Snowstorms
A Quatern...21 total reviews
Comment from kiwijenny
You have such exquisite ways with words....
Left within pairs of strangers shoes.....
I am meant for more than this room...........
Beautiful
God bless
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2013
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You have such exquisite ways with words....
Left within pairs of strangers shoes.....
I am meant for more than this room...........
Beautiful
God bless
Comment Written 05-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2013
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Wow thank you I'm so honed that you said that. That means a Huge amount to me. It really does. Needed to hear that.
Comment from Brocha1
a great opening line. It talks of hope and also the pain of confinement, not sure whether the confinement here is a real one or the prisons of the mind. standing at the door of yesterday, stuck in the memories and the past and no way out.
"whispers to mirrors dry cracked cheeks "-loved this line.
the repeating stanza is very effectively and poignantly used .
The last verse was a fantastic end that pulled it all together,"Slipping into a shallow grave, " and the last twol ines were powerful stuff that leaves us oping and dreaming for more "begging for a purpose to bloom
I am meant for more than this room "
This deserves a six but on a Saturday night unfortunately I am out.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2013
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a great opening line. It talks of hope and also the pain of confinement, not sure whether the confinement here is a real one or the prisons of the mind. standing at the door of yesterday, stuck in the memories and the past and no way out.
"whispers to mirrors dry cracked cheeks "-loved this line.
the repeating stanza is very effectively and poignantly used .
The last verse was a fantastic end that pulled it all together,"Slipping into a shallow grave, " and the last twol ines were powerful stuff that leaves us oping and dreaming for more "begging for a purpose to bloom
I am meant for more than this room "
This deserves a six but on a Saturday night unfortunately I am out.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2013
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Oh thank you so much for the virtual six. That means a lot really. I'm so glad you got this poem. I was afraid it might be too vague but you got it. Its my most peronal i think as it tells of where I am now. If you're ever interested in the exact meaning you can feel free o read my convo with Rama, a friend, in the reviews. I didn't want to bore you with it here ;)
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I actually did read it. I sincerely hope that things will be easier very soon.
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Thank you so very much.
Comment from Spitfire
What a marvelous repeating phrase, a line everyone should say aloud a hundred times every day. It's too easy to slip into a shallow grave, but sometimes because of a chemical imbalance it's impossible to do it without medication. I have been on antidepressants on and off for years. Through trial and error I've learned it's a necessary evil. My mother and daughter suffer from this affliction too. The only downside of taking celexa is weight gain, but I manage to control that.
begging for a purpose to bloom -- yes, that's why I'm self-publishing some memoirs. I don't care for fame and riched anymore. I'll settle for self-satisfaction and a few really good friends.
Hugs,
Shari
S
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2013
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What a marvelous repeating phrase, a line everyone should say aloud a hundred times every day. It's too easy to slip into a shallow grave, but sometimes because of a chemical imbalance it's impossible to do it without medication. I have been on antidepressants on and off for years. Through trial and error I've learned it's a necessary evil. My mother and daughter suffer from this affliction too. The only downside of taking celexa is weight gain, but I manage to control that.
begging for a purpose to bloom -- yes, that's why I'm self-publishing some memoirs. I don't care for fame and riched anymore. I'll settle for self-satisfaction and a few really good friends.
Hugs,
Shari
S
Comment Written 05-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2013
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Yes Shari, I TOTALLY agree. That's what I care about too. I take antidepressants too. Abilify causes weight gain I realize. Ugh. But its a necessary evil right? ;)
I'm getting there. Its been tough. If you're ever interested in why I've been sick, the meaning to this poem you can feel free read my convo with Rama in the reviews too ;) its personal but I feel okay sharing it online now. Especially with you. Truly thank you for reading.
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You can't go off meds cold turkey if they've been in your system a long time. Hope you are doing it slowly. Doctors do get kickbacks. Did you get addicted to Valium or Oxycondin perchance? Eons ago, I used Valium for my nerves and realized I was getting addicted. My students could tell I was high on something! Do I halved my dosage, then a month later, took a half every other day and eventually stopped altogther. Right now, I'm on Zrytec one a day to keep the hives away. Going on six months now in spite of two predisone treatments. Of course, I've always been
addicted to chocolate.
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Haha. Yes though I'm doing it slow. Its been a long while now, months. Its Suboxone. A drug to take away the pain of withdrawing from opiates (pain medication). I decided to go off it all. This drug is harder to get off. Very painful. I am on .05mg. That's how strong it is. Well I'm on the second day without it. Ill make it through. What did you teach?
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Everyone's favorite subject--English
grades 11 and 12 mostly.
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I loved English. That's really cool. I bet you sculpted a lot of young writers. And I bet you were an awesome teacher to have.
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Well, I loved and respected the majority of my students and vice-versa because that's how things work. I keep a scrapbook of snapshots and letters or cards some of them gave me.
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That's so sweet. I know you were an inspiring teacher. I bet they all Loved you. You probably touched so many hearts. I know you.
Comment from poesyapprentice
You have lain your heart bare here, my friend, and done it in a most touching a masterful way. I am normally not a fan of the French repeating forms of poetry, just ask Gungalo, lol, but your repeating statement made this piece. Standing alone it is a most poignant line, and all you have surrounded it with adds such moving detail. The imagery throughout is heart-wrenching. Your write flows beautifully, and your phrasing is unique and thought provoking, as always.
Can you recall a time when you felt encouraged and loved, a time where happiness did abound? Knowing some of your past I feel you speaking of your lack of these things in your younger years. The yearning for them is evident in your write, along with the yearning to "break out" of current circumstances. You are frozen in a way, locked in both past and present pain, but there is hope.
Phil. 4:8 comes to mind here, as it so often does for me. We can't underestimate the power of our minds, of our thought life. Even if we cannot choose what enters, we can determine what remains there. What we dwell on we give power to affect our actions, our lives. Special circumstances play a part for you, I know, but I know you have the source of strength within you to conquer your circumstances. The same God who lived in Paul as he sat in a Roman prison with an attitude of joyful thanksgiving and peace is the same God that lives in you, my dear friend. I wrote a poem called By Faith and it runs along these lines and might be an encouragement to you if you feel up to reading it sometime.
I sincerely hope I'm not coming off in a way which makes you feel I'm lecturing or like I think you are doing anything wrong for feeling down as I only mean to encourage and I know that there are physical things which make it so much more difficult to deal with. It's just that when we focus and dwell, we feel, it's inevitable, and it is so easy to forget how much influence our thoughts have over our emotions. A friend told me recently to take that list of things I'm thankful for (making a new one daily) and go beyond the thought of them, with purposeful intent to concentrate on them until I felt the gratitude. He says that every moment holds a special blessing and when he gets down he makes it a point to find as many of them as he can, and soon gratitude and praise take over!
There are two books that I have read which have been most helpful with my own battle-- Battlefield of the Mind, and Prison to Praise. The latter is a quick read but so profound. I'm sorry for rambling, but hope something I've said is a help to you. This poem is really deserving of the six, really. You can write!! Blessings to you!!xxx
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2013
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You have lain your heart bare here, my friend, and done it in a most touching a masterful way. I am normally not a fan of the French repeating forms of poetry, just ask Gungalo, lol, but your repeating statement made this piece. Standing alone it is a most poignant line, and all you have surrounded it with adds such moving detail. The imagery throughout is heart-wrenching. Your write flows beautifully, and your phrasing is unique and thought provoking, as always.
Can you recall a time when you felt encouraged and loved, a time where happiness did abound? Knowing some of your past I feel you speaking of your lack of these things in your younger years. The yearning for them is evident in your write, along with the yearning to "break out" of current circumstances. You are frozen in a way, locked in both past and present pain, but there is hope.
Phil. 4:8 comes to mind here, as it so often does for me. We can't underestimate the power of our minds, of our thought life. Even if we cannot choose what enters, we can determine what remains there. What we dwell on we give power to affect our actions, our lives. Special circumstances play a part for you, I know, but I know you have the source of strength within you to conquer your circumstances. The same God who lived in Paul as he sat in a Roman prison with an attitude of joyful thanksgiving and peace is the same God that lives in you, my dear friend. I wrote a poem called By Faith and it runs along these lines and might be an encouragement to you if you feel up to reading it sometime.
I sincerely hope I'm not coming off in a way which makes you feel I'm lecturing or like I think you are doing anything wrong for feeling down as I only mean to encourage and I know that there are physical things which make it so much more difficult to deal with. It's just that when we focus and dwell, we feel, it's inevitable, and it is so easy to forget how much influence our thoughts have over our emotions. A friend told me recently to take that list of things I'm thankful for (making a new one daily) and go beyond the thought of them, with purposeful intent to concentrate on them until I felt the gratitude. He says that every moment holds a special blessing and when he gets down he makes it a point to find as many of them as he can, and soon gratitude and praise take over!
There are two books that I have read which have been most helpful with my own battle-- Battlefield of the Mind, and Prison to Praise. The latter is a quick read but so profound. I'm sorry for rambling, but hope something I've said is a help to you. This poem is really deserving of the six, really. You can write!! Blessings to you!!xxx
Comment Written 05-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2013
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Wow again I'm so humbled. You give e a lot of the confidence I so lack. I'm really thinking of your words. You're right not to dwell. I've actually let most of the pain go but I think its still there subconsciously. I'm going to make that list right now. Literally right now. You're right. It makes sense. So yes, your words Have, very much so, affected me, helped me today. I have a lot of love for you and care M. Truly. Ill give you a brief explanation of the words so you know they weren't just randomly put together. I know you "get" my stuff though anyway.
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I've been sick, battling something. Not an illness. But I've been stuck in my room. Too tough to leave. I AM going to beat this. Two of my best friends lost their fight to it. I'm beating it for them too. So, I'm meant for more than this room. My life won't end here. Bleach and perfume, I'm breathing, living in between the people so happy to be alive (can be nauseating like strong perfume) and the people so harsh, evil, cruel. No middle. A lost kid, looking home on yesterday and realizing I'm homesick for a home that never existed. Locked out of that memory. I'm begging for a purpose to go on, a purpose to bloom. Summer is supposed to be bright but only snow falls, a cold world. I was afraid it was too dark but I wanted to post it. It had a lot of me in it. It was based on a song I wrote. Refrain And the sun also rises But never too soon Im Drowning in the summer skies And My heart dreams in blue I'm meant for more than this room Left, with no more than pieces I need not just a reason I need a purpose to bloom... But the only thing coming... Is a snow storm in June. A singer is working on it now. The melody makes the words flow nice. Its dedicated to my fight but also to my friend who fought but sadly took his life in that month. So this poem was special to me.
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I don't know why it didn't put spaces in between the lines. Hopefully it reads right.
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You will win the fight, I know, but staying in your room alone with just your thoughts may not be the best thing for you. Give some thought to that, would you? : ) Your reply reads fine. I am posting the write that includes the butterflies soon so keep an eye out for it, would you? Soon after I have to leave the sight for tonight. Know you are in my prayers. xx
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Thank you so much. My body just hurts too much to go out. But you're right. I need to get away from my thoughs. I need to think of something to do outside.
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Just a walk in the fresh air might do you good, feeding the birds or squirrels at the park or just observing. Maybe some light puttering in the yard. You might try composing a piece outside, writing about what you see, even if it is outside your norm. The shortest advice I've been given for overcoming hard times mentally that has made a difference in my life is to look "up and out". One "downward" thought can lead to another, one sad event tumbling into the next in our minds, in an ever consuming spiral. Breaking the chain can be tough, but you can do it! Think on good things and keep fighting! I'm goin to post now. God bless!xx
Comment from Evelyn Fort Stewart
This is a very interesting poem and it is well written. Since we're not poets we never review on poetic styles. Tag teaming with Miss Evelyn while she is in a rehab center with a broken hip and no computer. God loves you and so do we.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2013
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This is a very interesting poem and it is well written. Since we're not poets we never review on poetic styles. Tag teaming with Miss Evelyn while she is in a rehab center with a broken hip and no computer. God loves you and so do we.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2013
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Oh bless her. Ill say a prayer. God loves you too! Thank you for reading.
Comment from IndianaIrish
You have such an amazing talent with words, Greg. The emotion you write is easily felt by the reader and shared. Your poem is powerful in its imagery and the repeating line builds in intensity to conclude your wonderful, emotional write.
Smiles,
Karyn : )
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2013
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You have such an amazing talent with words, Greg. The emotion you write is easily felt by the reader and shared. Your poem is powerful in its imagery and the repeating line builds in intensity to conclude your wonderful, emotional write.
Smiles,
Karyn : )
Comment Written 05-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2013
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Thank you Karyn! Really thank you so much. That meas so much coming from you. If you're ever interested in the meaning feel free to review Rama's review and my reply. You're just the best, thank you.
Comment from Domino 2
Hi, Gregory.
You were recommended to me by 'Poessyapprentice'.
I must admit I prefer rhyme and meter in structured poetry, but I really enjoyed this one. I think the EXCELLENT emotions, metaphors and imagery here would be best suited to unstructured free verse, though I realise you are following the Quatern discipline.
You sure have a poet's gift of expression and imagery.
Very thoughtful words questioning maybe there is a better and more fulfilling role in life for you.
Excellent!
Cheers, Ted
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2013
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Hi, Gregory.
You were recommended to me by 'Poessyapprentice'.
I must admit I prefer rhyme and meter in structured poetry, but I really enjoyed this one. I think the EXCELLENT emotions, metaphors and imagery here would be best suited to unstructured free verse, though I realise you are following the Quatern discipline.
You sure have a poet's gift of expression and imagery.
Very thoughtful words questioning maybe there is a better and more fulfilling role in life for you.
Excellent!
Cheers, Ted
Comment Written 05-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2013
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Thank you Ted. That's an honor to be recommended. Yes this was just a different style. I've tried them all, most of them, at least once. Sonnets, rondeaus, etc. My passion is free style, sometimes free verse though. I really appreciate your review. Each word has a meaning, never contrived. Feel free to read the review and reply to Rama, a friend. That'll tell you the story.
My Real passion and reason for being here are my essays. Creative non fiction narratives on a childhood with a bipolar mother. Written with comedy but about tough times. Trying to finish them. But they are all true so I have to think of another story! ;)
Truly thank you.
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Thanks for your very nice reply, Gregory.
I rarely review prose or long poems as I find it hard to concentrate for long on the written word.
Rama is indeed a very sweet lady.
All the best to you, Ted
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Haha me too! Long poems can be brutal to read. Haha. Totally relate.
Comment from 9999pool
A Quatem written is a very poignant story. He could have been more than this room as silent tears and forgotten doors were left unopened.
There was no hope left and so he slide into a shallow grave, unsure as he cling to the wet rolling ropes as if suicide by hanging.
When all hope is gone and the mind is lost, death becomes a reality.
Great write and well penned a suicide (I think) that left a lot of life's unanswered questions.
Cheerio, Ritchie. :))
Have a great weekend!
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2013
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A Quatem written is a very poignant story. He could have been more than this room as silent tears and forgotten doors were left unopened.
There was no hope left and so he slide into a shallow grave, unsure as he cling to the wet rolling ropes as if suicide by hanging.
When all hope is gone and the mind is lost, death becomes a reality.
Great write and well penned a suicide (I think) that left a lot of life's unanswered questions.
Cheerio, Ritchie. :))
Have a great weekend!
Comment Written 05-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2013
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Thank you for reading. I always respect your opinion, very much. Rolling ropes, hanging. I never thought of it like that. Interesting! Its from the point of view of someone very much lost, hurting, and can't leave their room. They know they will beat it though. They are meant for more than this room. If you're ever interested in the deeper meaning feel free to read my back and forth with Rama, a friend, on it. Thank you so much. Really.
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Hi Gregory,
Actually, I need to tell you that this is a Six Star write fro me. But because i have ran out of six stars and too shy to give another Virtual Six ****** which I am giving now. I should have guessed this write was about you and I did read your back and forth with Rama. I do know of the physical pain you were going through and may have fificulty walking and your absence from this site told me a sinister story of what you are going through.
But it is good you are still writing and for those of us who understood - we do know where it is coming from and taking us, smiles.
Coincidentally, I am now posting "Not Done Yet" and would like to humbly dedicate this poem to you.
You are one of my best friends here too and you do know, I am sure. You are the typically nice and warm guy-next-door. Always polite and not an unkind word, smiles. Best of all, you do not hold a grudge against others too. :)).
You rest well and keep that fighting spirit on and don't believe the doctors - they have not been where you have so they do nto know for sure.
When the song is done with your band, do broadcast it in FS and let us hear it too, smiles.
Have a great positive day - there are others here, much worse off than you. Stay cool and be inspired.
Cheerio, brother Ritchie. :))
Have a great Sunday!
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That might be the kindest thing I've heard. Thank you so much. That means more than you know during this time. Your words have seriously lifted my mood Ritchie. I mean that. I actually feel better. Thank you so so very much. And the feeling is More than mutual. I am so honored and just so touched. It made me teary eyed. Truly thank you my friend thank you. You have really helped. Really.
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Hi Gregory,
You are a great guy and do not let anything worry you and since you recently got married, and your wife will need your full support too.
Be there for each other and do not let apprehension separate the two of you.
My next write "If you must cry" will be dedicated to you and your wife too.
I think she will be under stress too so you have to try to be more understanding as you have a life to share. Do not let her worry unnecessarily. Give her more hugs and faith in you, smiles.
Cheerio, Ritchie. Lots of luv and hugs.
My prayers and well wishes to you and her. Take care. Smiles.
Comment from Jackarrie
A Quatern, this is a good one to know about, so thanks for the info.
Your poem is a very sad, deep, and so emotional, written from the bottom of your heart. It appears you are suffering from depression, and feel trapped, hence (I am meant for more than this room) Believe me I do know what it is like to be in that very dark place, feeling lost. To write is therapeutic, and you have written a great poem here. I hope your next poem will have a little more hope in it, for your sake.
Well done, and good luck. Mary
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2013
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A Quatern, this is a good one to know about, so thanks for the info.
Your poem is a very sad, deep, and so emotional, written from the bottom of your heart. It appears you are suffering from depression, and feel trapped, hence (I am meant for more than this room) Believe me I do know what it is like to be in that very dark place, feeling lost. To write is therapeutic, and you have written a great poem here. I hope your next poem will have a little more hope in it, for your sake.
Well done, and good luck. Mary
Comment Written 05-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2013
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Thank you so so much. Very insightful. I'm glad you liked this. It was a very reason so one to me. If you're ever interested in the deeper meaning feel free to read my back and forth with Rama, a friend, on it. Thank you so much. I mean that.
Comment from denhagan
This is a nice quatern poem, written with eight syllables per line with the descending first line of the first stanza. Nice creative write.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2013
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This is a nice quatern poem, written with eight syllables per line with the descending first line of the first stanza. Nice creative write.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2013
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Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it!
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You're welcome,
Dennis