Dummy
Martin Priwinkle was certainly no dummy...52 total reviews
Comment from krowboom
Very clever ending, spooky and thought provoking. I liked it. Being a ventriloquist myself I have to laugh at how they are often portrayed. More than likely vent was used in olden times to give credence to spirits being alive and real. Those that were "throwing their voice" knew what they were doing. There is nothing creepy about ventriloquism, only movies and writers who want to make it creepy and you did an excellent job in doing that, very chilling.
Dean,
I can't answer your message directly (not a premier member) so my answer follows.
I only noticed your message today so sorry for the delay. I am happy to read your poem. I don't post because I'm not a writer or poet. A friend of mine told me about the site and wanted me to review his work. I used to review other peoples stuff but frankly I got bored doing it so I just review my friends stuff. I have been a ventriloquist for about 7 years and my puppets haven't turned on me yet. Dummies certainly have a "creep" factor associated with them. I mostly entertain kids so I only use puppets, much friendlier and cost a lot less money. I go to the "vent" convention every year. While there is no shortage of nutty people there (most entertainers have to be a little off the wall) most are pretty normal. At least I consider myself pretty normal.
Good luck with your writing and poetry.
Krowboom
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2014
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Very clever ending, spooky and thought provoking. I liked it. Being a ventriloquist myself I have to laugh at how they are often portrayed. More than likely vent was used in olden times to give credence to spirits being alive and real. Those that were "throwing their voice" knew what they were doing. There is nothing creepy about ventriloquism, only movies and writers who want to make it creepy and you did an excellent job in doing that, very chilling.
Dean,
I can't answer your message directly (not a premier member) so my answer follows.
I only noticed your message today so sorry for the delay. I am happy to read your poem. I don't post because I'm not a writer or poet. A friend of mine told me about the site and wanted me to review his work. I used to review other peoples stuff but frankly I got bored doing it so I just review my friends stuff. I have been a ventriloquist for about 7 years and my puppets haven't turned on me yet. Dummies certainly have a "creep" factor associated with them. I mostly entertain kids so I only use puppets, much friendlier and cost a lot less money. I go to the "vent" convention every year. While there is no shortage of nutty people there (most entertainers have to be a little off the wall) most are pretty normal. At least I consider myself pretty normal.
Good luck with your writing and poetry.
Krowboom
Comment Written 12-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2014
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Thanks a million for giving me your opinions on this poem krowboom. I really appreciate you taking time out to do that for me.
I find nothing "creepy" with ventriloquists themselves, it's the dummies that give me the willies. We had an old one, found in a second hand store, and I kept it around for a short while before selling it. It just felt...wrong somehow. Anyhow, that "dummy" was the inspiration for the poem.
Thanks again, and best of luck to you as well.
Comment from victor 66
Dean, I came across this literary poetic marvel by chance. Again, all I can say is, you do perform absolute magic with your words. "I bow before your greatness." Best wishes.
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Dean, I came across this literary poetic marvel by chance. Again, all I can say is, you do perform absolute magic with your words. "I bow before your greatness." Best wishes.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2014
Comment from Nosha17
I am not a horror fan, I get nightmares! But, it was very effective and well written, with vivid imagery and choice of words. Great picture, too. Faye
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2014
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I am not a horror fan, I get nightmares! But, it was very effective and well written, with vivid imagery and choice of words. Great picture, too. Faye
Comment Written 24-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2014
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Thanks, Faye. I really appreciate you giving this one a shot, and giving me your opinions about it. I prefer the horror genre myself, but other than sonnet (which I loathe!), I enjoy all types of poetry, and have learned something significant from all sides, both light as well as dark. There's beauty in darkness too. Ever seen a sky full of stars twinkling on a sunny day?
Thanks so much again!
Comment from Domino 2
Blimey, Dean - that dummy on the RIGHT is real scary. LOL.
I found the following line a bit forced to make the rhyme:
'ensuing applause came fiercely loud'
The last line sure is thought-provoking, and I feel a 'dummy' for not getting it. Ah...I THINK I get your very clever inference - the dummy was 'pulling the strings' after all.
VERY entertaining and dark read.
Cheers, Ted.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2014
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Blimey, Dean - that dummy on the RIGHT is real scary. LOL.
I found the following line a bit forced to make the rhyme:
'ensuing applause came fiercely loud'
The last line sure is thought-provoking, and I feel a 'dummy' for not getting it. Ah...I THINK I get your very clever inference - the dummy was 'pulling the strings' after all.
VERY entertaining and dark read.
Cheers, Ted.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2014
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Yep, you nailed it as always, Ted. The dummy assisted poor dead Martin Periwinkle in going through with the act. I guess he realized that in show business, the show must go on, lol!
Thanks for the awesome review, my friend.
Comment from evilynne
Oh, this is certainly horror at its best. The ending I didn't anticipate, at all. It is very well written, reads well. Congratulations on your win! You deserve it.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2014
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Oh, this is certainly horror at its best. The ending I didn't anticipate, at all. It is very well written, reads well. Congratulations on your win! You deserve it.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2014
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Thank you, evilynne. I'm truly glad there are some, such as yourself, who appreciate the horror genre as much as I do. It is for readers just like yourself that I will continue to write for.
Thanks for your awesome review and most generous rating!
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You are welcome. I am still fairly unsure of some the reviews I write, but I was sure of this one!
Comment from padumachitta
Hi. Just getting bak from a little holiday...this was one of my first finds...and it delivered...oooh,creepy. I do not like these dummies or white face clowns...hebbie gebbie time forme
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2014
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Hi. Just getting bak from a little holiday...this was one of my first finds...and it delivered...oooh,creepy. I do not like these dummies or white face clowns...hebbie gebbie time forme
Comment Written 24-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2014
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Hah ha, thanks, padu, and welcome back. Hope your trip was a relaxing one.
I know many people feel just as you do where it pertains to clowns, ventriloquist dummies (I personally get the jitters from lookin' at those things myself...Yikes!), and dolls. So, I played on that subconscious fear for the horror prompt. I guess it worked out okay.
Thanks for your excellent review, my friend, and I'm glad you made it back safe & sound.
Comment from nancyjam
Congratulations on winning this contest. This is
indeed creepy, but so well crafted it's enjoyable.
Nice turn in the final stanza.
Also enjoyed your author notes. Very informative. Nancy
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2014
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Congratulations on winning this contest. This is
indeed creepy, but so well crafted it's enjoyable.
Nice turn in the final stanza.
Also enjoyed your author notes. Very informative. Nancy
Comment Written 23-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2014
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Thank you very much, Nancy. I'm very pleased that you enjoyed it, and I'm grateful for the kind comments and review.
Comment from Rainbowsofhappiness
I'm glad I had one six star rating remaining because this poem and the construction and delivery of it deserve nothing less! I read it at night too so I am totally freaked out! :-) Exceptionally well written build up to the climactic final stanzas. The rhythmic rhyming pattern woven throughout this piece really creates an overall cohesive unit and the stanzas transition seamlessly creating the buildup to the unexpected ending of the story through a poem! I love the scene description which is clearly defined by the writer in order to help the reader envision the vaudeville show, the look of the dummy, and the writer conveys a definitive air of mystery, horror, and fear through the description of the expressions on the faces of the owner and doctor when they realize the dummy's hand was on the dead man's back as if controlling him! Sheer terror loved it! I also loved the detailed description of vaudeville and the beliefs people had about the dummy used in acts in the author's notes. These notes further enhanced the piece giving it an eerie validity! This piece definitely deserved to be ranked all time best and win the horror contest hands down!! I love the pictures accompanying this piece to illustrate the writer's vision further and the choice of black background color only adds to the spooky element! A well presented and exquisitely written piece that will make it hard to sleep tonight! :-) Magnificently crafted!
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2014
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I'm glad I had one six star rating remaining because this poem and the construction and delivery of it deserve nothing less! I read it at night too so I am totally freaked out! :-) Exceptionally well written build up to the climactic final stanzas. The rhythmic rhyming pattern woven throughout this piece really creates an overall cohesive unit and the stanzas transition seamlessly creating the buildup to the unexpected ending of the story through a poem! I love the scene description which is clearly defined by the writer in order to help the reader envision the vaudeville show, the look of the dummy, and the writer conveys a definitive air of mystery, horror, and fear through the description of the expressions on the faces of the owner and doctor when they realize the dummy's hand was on the dead man's back as if controlling him! Sheer terror loved it! I also loved the detailed description of vaudeville and the beliefs people had about the dummy used in acts in the author's notes. These notes further enhanced the piece giving it an eerie validity! This piece definitely deserved to be ranked all time best and win the horror contest hands down!! I love the pictures accompanying this piece to illustrate the writer's vision further and the choice of black background color only adds to the spooky element! A well presented and exquisitely written piece that will make it hard to sleep tonight! :-) Magnificently crafted!
Comment Written 23-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2014
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Wow! What an exceptional review, Rainbowsofhappiness, I'm truly honored that you put as much time, effort and insight into this as you did, but more importantly than all of the aforementioned comments, I am so pleased that you enjoyed it, that it terrified you and made you feel a bit uneasy, for that is the greatest compliment that can be paid to a writer of dark poetry and horror prose.
So please, allow my to take a step back, and bow in humble gratitude for your stellar review and most generous rating.
Yes, there are awards for exceptional reviews in my world, and you've just earned a six star reviewer award from me...
Thanks so much again, for everything that you said.
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Wow! What lovely feedback on my review and I love the picture of the six stars how fabulous! I'm glad you enjoyed the review so thoroughly and thank you for making me smile! :-) Have a splendid day! :-)
Comment from mfowler
Congratulations, you clever man! Nothing is too hard for you. Mind you, this prompt was made for you. You're a very good poet (Tick). You don't mind spooky themes (tick), and you love to dress up your work to gain maximum effect (tick). Now, that's your qualities. Now for the poem. The quatrains work a treat with good rhyme and rhythm. Your presentation and background notes make the scene very accessible and understandible. The narrative is creepy and beautiful described. There's enough intrigue without going over the top. Great effort!
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2014
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Congratulations, you clever man! Nothing is too hard for you. Mind you, this prompt was made for you. You're a very good poet (Tick). You don't mind spooky themes (tick), and you love to dress up your work to gain maximum effect (tick). Now, that's your qualities. Now for the poem. The quatrains work a treat with good rhyme and rhythm. Your presentation and background notes make the scene very accessible and understandible. The narrative is creepy and beautiful described. There's enough intrigue without going over the top. Great effort!
Comment Written 23-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2014
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Thanks, Mark, I'm really happy to know there's at least one person out there in Fanstoria (not to be confused with Fangoria) who thinks so, lol. I'm really glad that you enjoyed the poem.
Comment from L.A.Matthies
I'm addicted to your fantastically creepy style. Congratulations on a well deserved win, how you managed to capture such a tale in 98 words ... just awesome! :)Linda
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2014
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I'm addicted to your fantastically creepy style. Congratulations on a well deserved win, how you managed to capture such a tale in 98 words ... just awesome! :)Linda
Comment Written 23-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2014
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Thanks, L.A., I'm really pleased that you enjoyed this. Thanks for the positive feedback, kind comments, and most generous rating. All are so very much appreciated!