Puff Adder Alley
Instant elavation!4 total reviews
Comment from RYME4U
This poem is very interesting. It teaches the reader some facts about Puff Adders and the area where they live. The rhyme and rhythm are well done and the presentation is great! Good job!
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
  |
This poem is very interesting. It teaches the reader some facts about Puff Adders and the area where they live. The rhyme and rhythm are well done and the presentation is great! Good job!
Comment Written 12-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
-
Your positive comments are much appreciated. Thank you.
Comment from adewpearl
Love the title and illustration
excellent use of rhyming couplets
good assonance in steady tread
I like the strong cadence created by the short lines
a cry he did make/did spy - I'm not a fan of adding DID like this in order to get the meter/rhyme work out
great descriptive detail throughout
Brooke
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
|
Love the title and illustration
excellent use of rhyming couplets
good assonance in steady tread
I like the strong cadence created by the short lines
a cry he did make/did spy - I'm not a fan of adding DID like this in order to get the meter/rhyme work out
great descriptive detail throughout
Brooke
Comment Written 12-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
-
Thank you, Brooke, for your detailed, encouraging review. I'll look at 'did' and see if I can edit.
Comment from Nosha17
Sounds mighty scary, I hate snakes. Good complimentary picture. Well chosen words and rhymes to convey your message. I bet he jumped! Good luck in the contest. Faye
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
|
Sounds mighty scary, I hate snakes. Good complimentary picture. Well chosen words and rhymes to convey your message. I bet he jumped! Good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 12-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
-
Thank you, Faye, for your warm review. My husband is a big man and adrenalin made him elevate!
Comment from Pyrrho
It is getting late so I shall be terse. In this post you often insert a 'throw-away' word like 'did' to maintain your meter. there are better ways to do that without using such non-contributing words.
You also use reverse syntax to place rhymes where you want them (where they belong). Such does not result in quality poetry.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
 |
It is getting late so I shall be terse. In this post you often insert a 'throw-away' word like 'did' to maintain your meter. there are better ways to do that without using such non-contributing words.
You also use reverse syntax to place rhymes where you want them (where they belong). Such does not result in quality poetry.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
-
Thank you for taking the trouble to examine my poem.