Comment from CALLAHANMR

Excellent

Hi Dean:)
Obviously Ian McClure should rise quickly on Wall Street. With all the carnage already there, I doubt that a werewolf would even be noticed. And what if Ian McClure is discovered? He would just use his mind controls to wipe out their memory.

This is a great entry for the Horror Fiction in a Flash Contest! and can be expanded into a great novel. You have already captured my mind with this SPAG-free start. My only regret is that I have used up all my sixers for this week. Good luck in the contest!

Roger

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 17-Jan-2015

Imagine the implications for a moment, Roger. It boggles the mind what someone (or some"thing") with Ian's powers could accomplish. And no sixes are ever necessary, my friend. I'm just very glad you enjoyed the story. :)

~Dean

Comment from LouiseSimpson

Good

I was not too drawn to the story. Until the Bad Moon Rising song at the end. It was well written and a lot of show.
The picture of slimy men in brokerage offices was depicted very well.
Great descriptions.

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 17-Jan-2015

Thanks, Louise. So sorry it wasn't your cuppa tea. :)

reply by LouiseSimpson on 20-Jan-2015

I didn't mean to say not my cup of tea.
It was very well written.

reply by the author on 20-Jan-2015

Thank you, Louise.

Comment from juliesibs

Excellent

Good story. This is well written and keeps the reader engaged. It has just enough of a creep factor for me to love it. Very nice job.

Julie

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 17-Jan-2015

Thanks so much, Julie, and I sincerely appreciate your encouragement and thoughtful review. :) ~Dean

Comment from kriver

Excellent

Hi Dean, As Christian I don't think writing about and glorifying demons is such a good thing to do. It is giving our enemy praise. I would think that is something you would not want to do for any reason. It would not please the LORD to do that. HE has blessed you with a writing talent. If you truly love JESUS,and I think you do. Here then is my challenge to you. Use that GOD given talent to PRAISE GOD not bring HIM down. Writing about demons, and such things is a waste of your writing abilities. If you want GOD to really bless your writing, then write to bring Praise to our LORD. Ask your pastor and I bet he would agree. I'll bet he would say the same thing to you if he hasn't already done so.

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 17-Jan-2015

My Pastor has, kriver, and on many different occasions, believe me. In fact, his Facebook account is connected directly to my own, and everything I post goes there. He is able to view everything I write, and he does, quite often.

I came to realize after my near death experience in 2010 (I was declared clinically dead for over 3 1/2 minutes, with absolutely no brain damage or ill side effects, although some would tend to disagree with me on that point) that not only are there dark, mysterious "things" lurking about all around us, if we also write about them and let them know that we know they are there, then they'll leave us alone. While I don't consider FanStroy a proper podium to preach my particular brand of religion, I do counsel with troubled youth and couples quite frequently on the pitfalls of drugs, alcohol, and wanton promiscuity on their daily lives. I also consider werewolves classic monsters, and nothing at all like demons. Demons are horrendous, vile and wicked things, and all too real, believe me. Werewolves, vampires and the like, well... those are just myths, steeped with ancient tradition.

I pray and ask God for guidance before each and everything that I write, and to enable me to entertain others. I try to keep the foul language in my poetry and prose to a bare minimum. My pastor, as well as my Lord, insists upon it.

Thanks so much for voicing your opinions on the matter, and for hearing me out as well.

Respectfully,

~Dean

reply by kriver on 17-Jan-2015

Dean actually I agree with you to an extent, except the part about writing about them will make them leave us alone. Their whole job is to give us as much trouble as they can whether we acknowledge them in writing or not. Writing about them seems like it gives them to much credit and rewards them
for messing with us. That is really something about being dead for 3 1/2 min. I had something similar only I don't know how long I was out when I came back the Doc was about to use the paddles had them in his hands ready to go about to put them on me. He was more than a little shocked when I opened my eyes and ask him if he was going to use those things on me He replied "yes I was". It is neat that you have a built in Christian editorial control for your writing.I have gone round and round on the language in writing a novel, because it would be out of character for them not to use bad language. I never have been able to figure that one out.

reply by the author on 17-Jan-2015

You're right, kriver, it does create a conflict. For example, if a man accidentally runs over a biker's prized Harley Davidson outside a bar, you're not going to hear the dude say, "Oh, shucky-darn! Now look what you've done."

I want to write about what I saw wherever it was that I was for that three and a half minutes, but I find it far too terrifying to do just yet. I will tell you this, I've been writing for over twenty-seven-years and in all of that time, I'd never written anything nearly as dark and foreboding as the things I write about now. Nor did it come so naturally to me. It completely changed me inside and made me question everything I felt was already set in stone about the afterlife. ~Dean

reply by kriver on 17-Jan-2015

Dean Oh shucky-darn LOL that is really funny. That would be a great setup to catch the reader totally off guard and make them really laugh because it is so incongruent with the characters normal behavior. I am really curious now. Tell me all about how that experience changed your perspective from the inside out. Did it make you question your Salvation and where you will spend eternity? or what?? Boy, you have been at this writing gig along time. I just started doing it this last year. I hope you will review my last post. {O shucky- darn} verrrrrrrrry funny. It makes me laugh every time I think about it. I think I'll steal it, and use it in some of my reviews.sorta like horse's batoot a word my grandma made up, and my mom favored.

reply by the author on 17-Jan-2015

My mother used to say that all of the time. You know, instead of that "other" word, LOL? :D

reply by kriver on 17-Jan-2015

Dean, I just thought of something that biker could have said Oh shucky-darn now look what youv'e done you horses batoot! What a line.

reply by the author on 17-Jan-2015

Heh-heh...well, the narrative does have to fit the personalities of the characters you're writing bout in your stories to make them seem real and believable, right? I don't know about you, but I ain't never heard a biker say "shucky-darn~", LOL... :)

Comment from Spitfire

Excellent

lycanthrophy. I learn the most interesting facts? on this site. Ironic opening with Gleason in search on prey. LOL
As for Ian, that's one way to order take-out. :-)

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2015

Comment from seaglass

Excellent

I don't care much for vampires but werewolfs are a bit sexy... sort of...at least the non-lethal ones.

Wall-street wolves are disgusting...trying to get their hands on Red Riding Hood's college money and her granny's retirement savings...

I saw the movie and thank goodness this guy was brought down. i think your new novel idea is a good one.

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 16-Jan-2015

Thanks, Carolyn, I'm very grateful for the feedback. Much obliged. :}

Comment from Dopeless Hopefiend

Excellent

Brilliant. I for one would read this if you did end up turning it into a novel. Well written, and captivating, even if only for a short time.

Thank you for sharing your imagination with us, best wishes,

-D.H

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2015

Comment from RPSaxena

Exceptional

Hello Dean Kuch,
Lovely piece of Horror and Thriller Fiction depicting its theme in a very interesting way!
Wording is impressive and perfectly matching with the theme.
Smooth and captivating flow from the beginning to the end with lively imagery.
Description of Characters and their conversation is remarkable.
Quotation and the pictures enhance beauty of the theme.
Best of Luck!

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 16-Jan-2015

Thank you very much, RP, I sincerely appreciate that. While it's not doing too well in the contest right now, it's still pretty early in the game.

Thanks again for sharing your thoughts with me on the story, and for the very generous rating as well. All are greatly appreciated. ;}

~Dean

Comment from Tellis

Exceptional

This one deserves a sixer and I hope you do use this in a book. This character has style and I want to read more about him and if he becomes a vampire after death. I enjoyed this well written and entertaining piece.

Tellis

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 16-Jan-2015

Well, thanks so much for your exceptional rating and encouraging comments, Tellis. It isn't doing very well in the contest currently, but it's still early in the game.

I'm very glad you enjoyed it.

Comment from Mastery

Excellent

Hi, Deano. so good to be back reading your work again. I love your cartoons throught this little tale, too. You really should write more novel-type work...you are a natural with imagery and descriptions/character-building.

Wish I had a six left for you...sorry.

ps. Are you angry with me about something? reason I ask is I have asked you two times now about using the Dick Tracy looking photo again for this new Cleve novel...and I have heard nothing back??? Sorry if I offended you in some way. I have tried to use the picture from my pictures file, but they say the pixels aren't right for use and I don't know how to fix it. If you have time and any suggestion, I would really appreciate it Dean. Blessings and thanks for all of your help, past present and future, hopefully. Bob

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 16-Jan-2015

No, no... absolutely not, Bob. I'm in no way angry with you in the slightest, my friend. For some reason or another, I never received those messages. Did you send them to my email? Anyhow, you are more than welcome to use any image you see fit, my dear friend. And I'm sorry about missing those messages from you.

As for the review of my entry, I really appreciate the fact that you enjoyed it. Hopefully it does well in the contest. Well see soon enough.

Thanks again, Bob. You and I are friends for life, buddy! :)

~Dean

reply by Mastery on 16-Jan-2015

I am so glad we are good, deano. You'll have my vote for sure. can you help me post that Dick tracy picture someho. I hate to use the one I am using on the chapters. Btw. were you aware that I have posted two chapters of the ne Cleve book? Hope to hear from you soon regarding the help on the picture. I am not good with that "pixel" thing and that is why I can't use it...Evidently it needs to be resized. Ugh1 LOL..Bob

reply by the author on 16-Jan-2015

I believe I still have that artwork somewhere, Bob. I'll send it to you in your inbox here, and you can right click on it and save it to your computer files. As for the contest, it began today, and I'm holding my own...but barely! :)

reply by Mastery on 16-Jan-2015

I just voted and left a comment signed "B" You are up by two now. I already have the picture, dean. I just don't know how to size it to fit?? Can you send it to me in the right size so all I have to do is select and post from my pictures? Sorry for being such a bother. Bob

reply by the author on 16-Jan-2015

It's no bother at all, Bob. I just sent you another that I made late last year, in December when I saw that you were posting Cleve Hawkins stories again. I made it specifically for your new novel, "Triple Crossed". Perhaps you'll like it better.

Thanks for your support, Bob. You know I appreciate it. :)

reply by Mastery on 16-Jan-2015

Thanks so much, Deano. This is great artwork....as usual from you. See my remarks at the bottom of the chapters. Bob

reply by the author on 16-Jan-2015

Will do, Bob, and I'm very happy you liked it. :)