Bed of Roses
a perfect moment39 total reviews
Comment from Sonaleeka
Awesome writing.I enjoy every piece of it ..Definitely Enjoyable read ,easy to connect with charters.Keep writing my friend.
God bless!
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2015
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Awesome writing.I enjoy every piece of it ..Definitely Enjoyable read ,easy to connect with charters.Keep writing my friend.
God bless!
Comment Written 19-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2015
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Many thanks. Much appreciated
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Short and somewhat sweet but not simple. Your words do paint an eerie picture that is both good and bad. I believe the young lady lies dead in the forest probably at the hands of her lover. I believe the line "she is mine" sums up the fact that he wanted no one else to have her so he killed her. He posed her after she died like what you have described. The white roses are covered in her blood and they are now red. Good job with the prompt. The flow was very good. To draw the reader in and have them leave with different views of what happened makes this intriguing. Good job and congrats on your win.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2015
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Short and somewhat sweet but not simple. Your words do paint an eerie picture that is both good and bad. I believe the young lady lies dead in the forest probably at the hands of her lover. I believe the line "she is mine" sums up the fact that he wanted no one else to have her so he killed her. He posed her after she died like what you have described. The white roses are covered in her blood and they are now red. Good job with the prompt. The flow was very good. To draw the reader in and have them leave with different views of what happened makes this intriguing. Good job and congrats on your win.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2015
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Hi, thanks for the insightful review. Yeah, the ending is supposed to be somewhat ambiguous for the reader to draw conclusions. There are little clues in there though! Much appreciated
Comment from dmt1967
This is a lovely poem and it flows very well. I like the rose petal picture and the words are so tender and elegant. I hope you do well in this contest and thank you so much for posting.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015
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This is a lovely poem and it flows very well. I like the rose petal picture and the words are so tender and elegant. I hope you do well in this contest and thank you so much for posting.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015
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Many thanks for the review. Much appreciated
Comment from jmdg1954
I must've missed this when first posted. I can understand why it's leading in the contest voting.
This is a fantastic, sensual, love story, worthy of all six stars!
Nicely done, my friend. John
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015
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I must've missed this when first posted. I can understand why it's leading in the contest voting.
This is a fantastic, sensual, love story, worthy of all six stars!
Nicely done, my friend. John
Comment Written 18-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015
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Many thanks for the very generous rating. It is very much appreciated
Comment from Debra White
Hi Giraffmang :)
Thank you for entering the writing prompt.
I really enjoyed reading your entry - a great take on the title you chose.
So well written - a beautiful moment captured.... so we think, right until the end!
Great twist, loved the presentation also.
Good luck in the booth!
Kindest regards, Debra :)
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015
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Hi Giraffmang :)
Thank you for entering the writing prompt.
I really enjoyed reading your entry - a great take on the title you chose.
So well written - a beautiful moment captured.... so we think, right until the end!
Great twist, loved the presentation also.
Good luck in the booth!
Kindest regards, Debra :)
Comment Written 18-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015
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Many thanks for the insightful review. I love these prompts and I see you have another one underway. Not sure I have the time but I'll think on it! Much appreciated
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Ah, time! The rarest of commodities! If you do find you have a little, it would be great to see you participate... Kindest regards as always, Debra :)
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Congratulations on the win!
Comment from Dean Kuch
That very last line -- "I leave her now forever young" -- had me thinking that maybe, just maybe, this guy was a vampire. I mean, let's face it, when it comes to monsters, none is more sexy than the vampire. The fact that she was slumbering peacefully debunks that theory just a bit, so perhaps the last line was metaphorical in tone.
In any event, the writing here is quite elegant and refined. If I were certain you had sprung the ending on us all that I thought you had -- the vampire theory -- that would truly be a surprise finish, one I never saw coming in the slightest.
Best of luck to you, 'G'. ~Dean
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015
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That very last line -- "I leave her now forever young" -- had me thinking that maybe, just maybe, this guy was a vampire. I mean, let's face it, when it comes to monsters, none is more sexy than the vampire. The fact that she was slumbering peacefully debunks that theory just a bit, so perhaps the last line was metaphorical in tone.
In any event, the writing here is quite elegant and refined. If I were certain you had sprung the ending on us all that I thought you had -- the vampire theory -- that would truly be a surprise finish, one I never saw coming in the slightest.
Best of luck to you, 'G'. ~Dean
Comment Written 18-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015
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Hi, Dean. You are the second to mention the vampire thing (and my wife). I wrote it to be a little ambiguous in the ending as to who (or what). Most people have thought it a simple love tale, which it is, but isn't.
Her life has been taken. There are subtle indictors of this in the piece. But it seems it was too subtle for most!
Much appreciated, as always
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You;re welcome, Gareth. I felt that she was dead as indicated by the line I referenced. I just didn't know by what means he'd killed her.
Good luck with it. ~Dean
Comment from IndianaIrish
Oh, wow! I sure didn't expect that ending, so I loved it! Great description of the lady and with just a few words, you turn the story around to reveal a devastating murder. Great story, G, and I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015
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Oh, wow! I sure didn't expect that ending, so I loved it! Great description of the lady and with just a few words, you turn the story around to reveal a devastating murder. Great story, G, and I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment Written 17-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015
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Many thanks for the great review. This will probably do nothing in the contest! Most people haven't 'gotten' it at all. Ah, well, so much for being subtle. Much appreciated
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Did I get it? LOL
Comment from c_lucas
I may be misreading this, but I got the feeling the poet's young wife past on before she had a chance to aged. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. Good luck in your contest.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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I may be misreading this, but I got the feeling the poet's young wife past on before she had a chance to aged. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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Almost there. He took her life making her forever young. Thanks for the review. Much appreciated
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You're welcome, GMG. Charlie
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You're welcome, gmg. Charlie
Comment from Cajungirl
A fantastic short story. I have to say love, desire and murder all in less than 200 words. Great job! Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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A fantastic short story. I have to say love, desire and murder all in less than 200 words. Great job! Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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Many thanks for the great review. Glad you got it all. It by-passed quite a few people. too subtle apparently! lol. Much appreciated
Comment from chasennov
"Bed of Roses" This is an excellent rendition of your descriptive lovemaking episode. I thought it was done in good taste and it was well written. Good job.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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"Bed of Roses" This is an excellent rendition of your descriptive lovemaking episode. I thought it was done in good taste and it was well written. Good job.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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Many thanks for the generous and encouraging review.
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You are most welcome.