A Painted Face
a final show55 total reviews
Comment from Lise Deangelo
I enjoyed reading this poem. I really like the title and how it lends so well to the poem. This write is fatalistic, but not in a morbid manner. You capture so well the honesty of the feelings within. The only details I thought could be tweaked are the last two lines of the last two stanzas. To read a bit smoother, but overall an excellent poem. Thanks so much for sharing.
:) Lise
reply by the author on 30-May-2015
  |
I enjoyed reading this poem. I really like the title and how it lends so well to the poem. This write is fatalistic, but not in a morbid manner. You capture so well the honesty of the feelings within. The only details I thought could be tweaked are the last two lines of the last two stanzas. To read a bit smoother, but overall an excellent poem. Thanks so much for sharing.
:) Lise
Comment Written 30-May-2015
reply by the author on 30-May-2015
-
Many thanks for the suggestions. I will have another look! much appreciated.
Comment from Sis Cat
This is a great writing prompt entry. As an oral storyteller, I found this poem resonated with me. You also speak how some people seek the final curtain of life. You crafted vivid descriptions and metaphors.. Yes, some shirk from going on with the show. Thank you for sharing your poignant poem.
reply by the author on 30-May-2015
|
This is a great writing prompt entry. As an oral storyteller, I found this poem resonated with me. You also speak how some people seek the final curtain of life. You crafted vivid descriptions and metaphors.. Yes, some shirk from going on with the show. Thank you for sharing your poignant poem.
Comment Written 30-May-2015
reply by the author on 30-May-2015
-
Many thanks for reading and your thoughts on this. I don't write much poetry these days so the response to this has been very encouraging. Much appreciated.
Comment from amahra
Very nice poem and a good contest entry. Loved the rhyming and the rhythm. Great job.
Knowing all the while, it's too late 'it is too late'] I think would keep the rhythm.
reply by the author on 29-May-2015
|
Very nice poem and a good contest entry. Loved the rhyming and the rhythm. Great job.
Knowing all the while, it's too late 'it is too late'] I think would keep the rhythm.
Comment Written 29-May-2015
reply by the author on 29-May-2015
-
Many thanks for your thoughts and suggestion. Much appreciated.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
So many people hide behind a mask, putting on a show for everyone, while inside they are crying, hurt and in pain, afraid to let anyone see. You have used this prompt brilliantly. The show must, and does go on. Good luck in the contest. :) Sandra
reply by the author on 29-May-2015
|
So many people hide behind a mask, putting on a show for everyone, while inside they are crying, hurt and in pain, afraid to let anyone see. You have used this prompt brilliantly. The show must, and does go on. Good luck in the contest. :) Sandra
Comment Written 29-May-2015
reply by the author on 29-May-2015
-
Many thanks for this great review. I truly appreciate it. All the best.
Comment from Treischel
A powerfully sad poem about ending it all, as influenced by the required phrase. Very well written in three aabb rhymed quatrains, of iambic tetrameter. Your poetic imagery builds to the final declaration expertly with only a slight meter wobble in the last line.
reply by the author on 29-May-2015
|
A powerfully sad poem about ending it all, as influenced by the required phrase. Very well written in three aabb rhymed quatrains, of iambic tetrameter. Your poetic imagery builds to the final declaration expertly with only a slight meter wobble in the last line.
Comment Written 29-May-2015
reply by the author on 29-May-2015
-
Many thanks for your response and thoughts on the poem. I very much appreciate it.
Comment from ravenblack
So often what we see on the surface does not reflect what is going on inside. I see this as a woman putting on make-up, no knocking door her loneliness, the poem a " what's the point". Strong stuff.
reply by the author on 29-May-2015
|
So often what we see on the surface does not reflect what is going on inside. I see this as a woman putting on make-up, no knocking door her loneliness, the poem a " what's the point". Strong stuff.
Comment Written 29-May-2015
reply by the author on 29-May-2015
-
Many thanks for your thoughts on this piece. It is very much appreciated.
Comment from petalangela
Beautiful words fantastic flow to them. Gently it makes a harsh statement
This is one that I can totally relate
There is a fine line between being sane and being crazy. The same line is there for sane or being a poet.
reply by the author on 29-May-2015
|
Beautiful words fantastic flow to them. Gently it makes a harsh statement
This is one that I can totally relate
There is a fine line between being sane and being crazy. The same line is there for sane or being a poet.
Comment Written 29-May-2015
reply by the author on 29-May-2015
-
Many thanks for this great review. It is very much appreciated.
Comment from Rubylou
Your wonderful poem made me think of someone that could be an image for your work. Always happy, life-of-the-party kind of guy. Yet pretty much abused his body and drank himself to death. The song at his funeral was, "I Did It My Way."
So yes, he faced the 'final curtain' and the final line of your poem says it all.
Great job, Rubylou
reply by the author on 29-May-2015
 |
Your wonderful poem made me think of someone that could be an image for your work. Always happy, life-of-the-party kind of guy. Yet pretty much abused his body and drank himself to death. The song at his funeral was, "I Did It My Way."
So yes, he faced the 'final curtain' and the final line of your poem says it all.
Great job, Rubylou
Comment Written 29-May-2015
reply by the author on 29-May-2015
-
Many thanks for your thoughts on this and the very generous rating too. Much appreciated.
Comment from Antoine Charlemaine
Thought I should repay a compliment and pop in to have a read of something of yours. I don't really 'do' poetry, but I thought this was original and well thought through. You have incorporated the required writing prompt line effectively, without it feeling forced in any way, as well as painting a brilliant story line. Very well done.
Anthony
reply by the author on 29-May-2015
|
Thought I should repay a compliment and pop in to have a read of something of yours. I don't really 'do' poetry, but I thought this was original and well thought through. You have incorporated the required writing prompt line effectively, without it feeling forced in any way, as well as painting a brilliant story line. Very well done.
Anthony
Comment Written 29-May-2015
reply by the author on 29-May-2015
-
Hi Anthony, many thanks for having a read of this one. I don't tend to write a lot of poetry these days. When I joined the site that's all I wrote but I am firmly a fiction writer these days! I do still churn out the occasional one though. Many thanks again. It is very much appreciated.
G
Comment from Nosha17
Certainly, some people like to make life into a show, I prefer the quiet one! With life's ups and downs, we can never be certain of what life will offer us next. Good use of descriptive language, rhyming and imagery. Good luck in the contest. Faye
reply by the author on 29-May-2015
|
Certainly, some people like to make life into a show, I prefer the quiet one! With life's ups and downs, we can never be certain of what life will offer us next. Good use of descriptive language, rhyming and imagery. Good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 29-May-2015
reply by the author on 29-May-2015
-
Many thanks for this great review. I finished second in the contest behind Dean Kuch's poem which I voted for because it was outstanding! Much appreciated