Humanity Project
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "Jacob"A science fiction book about genetic engineering.
18 total reviews
Comment from MelB
Hi Rhonda, sorry I'm late reviewing. I haven't had much time this summer to write. My laptop was getting fixed too. It seems every time I'm about to publish a book, something happens to it. Fantastic chapter! Well written with great imagery. I love the way the two men were sizing each other up!
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2017
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Hi Rhonda, sorry I'm late reviewing. I haven't had much time this summer to write. My laptop was getting fixed too. It seems every time I'm about to publish a book, something happens to it. Fantastic chapter! Well written with great imagery. I love the way the two men were sizing each other up!
Comment Written 20-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2017
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Thank you so much!! I love the six stars and the wonderful votes of confidence.
I haven't been on the site much at all. Lots going on in my life, including with my parents, whose health is failing fast. I know you understand on that level.
My health has improved, and going back to work has helped me feel more "normal". I do so appreciate the review and stars!!
Rhonda
Comment from F. Wehr3
Nice work, Rhonda. Glad to see your story again. You left me in the mind for so long, lol. I hope you're doing okay and healing. I apologize for the short review, but if I didn't read this now, I wouldn't get back to it before it expired. The only thing I noticed was the use of *sigh* commas. Nothing major.
Take care,
Russell
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2017
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Nice work, Rhonda. Glad to see your story again. You left me in the mind for so long, lol. I hope you're doing okay and healing. I apologize for the short review, but if I didn't read this now, I wouldn't get back to it before it expired. The only thing I noticed was the use of *sigh* commas. Nothing major.
Take care,
Russell
Comment Written 17-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2017
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Yeah, I know the commas were going to be a problem, but I also knew that if I didn't go ahead and post it, I would keep giving myself excuses not to.
I do feel a lot better, and am back to work. It's funny how helpful it is to get back into a routine to get the imagination flowing again. It was a long summer, my friend!
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Ulla
Hi Rhonda, it's great to see you back. How are you now? I hope much better. Just take care you don't overdo it this time.
This is a great write. I went straight into the story again, no problem. I'm just sorry I don't have six for you as it's very well written. So we are facing struggles. Let's see what Jacob will bring to the story. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2017
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Hi Rhonda, it's great to see you back. How are you now? I hope much better. Just take care you don't overdo it this time.
This is a great write. I went straight into the story again, no problem. I'm just sorry I don't have six for you as it's very well written. So we are facing struggles. Let's see what Jacob will bring to the story. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 16-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2017
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Thank you so much for the beautiful review, Ulla!
I did overdo things, but it wasn't all my fault. I just had a series of complications that were from things beyond our control. I'm back to work now. I've had a few rough days, but am adjusting now.
You're a really good friend, and I've woefully lost track of your stories. Congrats on your standing in the rankings!!
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from rspoet
Hello Rhonda,
Welcome back!
It's good the read another chapter is the Humanity Project.
Archie, Ayala, and Koko are right where we left them, in a mine,
and now Jacob seems to have replaced Sani, for the time being
Interesting choice of name, Jacob; perhaps, brother, fighter, or more
The meeting between the two males is very well done
both with their mutual need and suspicion of each other
"I'm not afraid" and "you will be" is a nice nod to Yoda and Luke in SW's,
it foretells some interesting and challenging times ahead.
Excellent chapter my friend.
Well done
RS
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2017
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Hello Rhonda,
Welcome back!
It's good the read another chapter is the Humanity Project.
Archie, Ayala, and Koko are right where we left them, in a mine,
and now Jacob seems to have replaced Sani, for the time being
Interesting choice of name, Jacob; perhaps, brother, fighter, or more
The meeting between the two males is very well done
both with their mutual need and suspicion of each other
"I'm not afraid" and "you will be" is a nice nod to Yoda and Luke in SW's,
it foretells some interesting and challenging times ahead.
Excellent chapter my friend.
Well done
RS
Comment Written 16-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2017
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Thank you for the wonderful six star rating. It's a good to see on my return to FS chapter.
I've been working on it for a while. I didn't like my original direction at this point and am redirecting. (ie no more real Tommyknockers). I think I have it now, and am more able to write since I've recovered enough to return to work. Getting into a routine has been helpful.
I really do appreciate your comments on this chapter as I need the feedback for the redirect chapter. I like it better this way as well. I actually forgot that was a line from Star Wars, and others pointed it out as well. I'll change it up later.
I do very much appreciate your reviews!
Rhonda
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent. I have been watching for more of this story and wondered where you had gone to. LOL. This is an interesting chapter and the writing is great. The dialogue is good and makes the story more believable.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2017
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Excellent. I have been watching for more of this story and wondered where you had gone to. LOL. This is an interesting chapter and the writing is great. The dialogue is good and makes the story more believable.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2017
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Thank you for the wonderful review. I had a lot of health problems, and am just getting back to my old self.
I've also been wrestling with a direction I had been heading, and a new one I want to go.
I appreciate you dropping in to review and comment!
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Rhonda,
Awesome to see you posting again, my friend.
engulfed in indecision He kept thinking - insert a full stop after indecision.
hand landing on his shoulder, disrupted Archie's insecure musings - don't think you need the comma here.
Archie leaned against the damp tunnel / Archie rose to his feet and leaned against the wall. / Archie leaned away from the wall - Archie's doing a lot of leaning in the early sections. Maybe give him something else to do (slump shoulders, hands on knees, hold his head).
The male voice was coarse / He had on a coarsely woven short - using the same descriptor here in regard to the same character. It may feel like I'm being pedantic here but these things can stick out.
He felt it rise up like bile in his throat - maybe felt it rise as bile in his throat - gives it a physical manifestation.
"I'm not afraid," Archie snarled, his breathing raspy and fast.
"You will be," Jacob said - this is exactly the exchange between Yoda and Luke Skywalker on Dagobah in Empire Strikes Back. Nice.
Very nice continuation, straight back in the same vein and consistent tone of the previous instalment.
good stuff
G
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2017
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Hi Rhonda,
Awesome to see you posting again, my friend.
engulfed in indecision He kept thinking - insert a full stop after indecision.
hand landing on his shoulder, disrupted Archie's insecure musings - don't think you need the comma here.
Archie leaned against the damp tunnel / Archie rose to his feet and leaned against the wall. / Archie leaned away from the wall - Archie's doing a lot of leaning in the early sections. Maybe give him something else to do (slump shoulders, hands on knees, hold his head).
The male voice was coarse / He had on a coarsely woven short - using the same descriptor here in regard to the same character. It may feel like I'm being pedantic here but these things can stick out.
He felt it rise up like bile in his throat - maybe felt it rise as bile in his throat - gives it a physical manifestation.
"I'm not afraid," Archie snarled, his breathing raspy and fast.
"You will be," Jacob said - this is exactly the exchange between Yoda and Luke Skywalker on Dagobah in Empire Strikes Back. Nice.
Very nice continuation, straight back in the same vein and consistent tone of the previous instalment.
good stuff
G
Comment Written 14-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2017
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Thank you for the wonderful review, G. I quite agree with all your comments. I've waited a bit before posting this one as I was struggling with the direction, and with getting a bit more intense. Time to grow up some characters. I'm glad the tone worked.
I actually didn't remember the quote from Star Wars. I'll need to change that... thanks.
Good to hear from you as well.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Such a treat to find your work in my box, Rhonda - hope this means you are feeling better and things are going well. I've been thinking and praying for you, my friend.
This is an extraordinary story, with vivid descriptions, bringing the characters to life, and all manner of twists and turns, keeping the interest flowing and leaving us wanting more. I could just see them sizing each other up, as men do.
Blessings,
Margaret
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2017
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Such a treat to find your work in my box, Rhonda - hope this means you are feeling better and things are going well. I've been thinking and praying for you, my friend.
This is an extraordinary story, with vivid descriptions, bringing the characters to life, and all manner of twists and turns, keeping the interest flowing and leaving us wanting more. I could just see them sizing each other up, as men do.
Blessings,
Margaret
Comment Written 14-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2017
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Thank you, Margaret, for your lovely remarks, and for the wonderful 6 stars. How very kind,
I am sorry I've gotten so far behind on all my reading, and especially on yours. For some reason, I had trouble concentrating when I was in recovery. I've gone back to work now, and it has helped stimulate my imagination again.
It's good to hear from you again,
Rhonda
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I'm so pleased to hear you're well enought o return to work - a good sign - I understand about not being able to concentrate - have been the same. Recently had a heart-attack and have struggled to feel the old enthusiasm I once had. M
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Oh my! I'm sorry to hear it. It's odd how when you are down, your whole body focuses on healing, and not on the books you are trying to write! I had hoped to be able to write with all my "free" time. Didn't work the way I had hoped, and I'm sure it didn't for you either.
I'm glad you are doing better as well.
Comment from trumby
It's good to read your work again, mate. Then again, I was away for awhile too.
You must have a very good imagination to come up with story-lines like this.
I've loved reading this story right from the beginning.
I think too about how very ordinary it seemed to be at the beginning.
This is a very enthralling story that held my attention through-out the yarn.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2017
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It's good to read your work again, mate. Then again, I was away for awhile too.
You must have a very good imagination to come up with story-lines like this.
I've loved reading this story right from the beginning.
I think too about how very ordinary it seemed to be at the beginning.
This is a very enthralling story that held my attention through-out the yarn.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2017
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Wow, thank you for the encouraging words.
I will try to do something with the beginning to try and "grow" it. I do believe the book has taken a more serious turn, and one of the reasons it's taken me a while to post it. That and all that surgery business. You'd think I would have written more with all that time on my hand, but all I did was get lazy. lol.
Back to work teaching means back to a healthier routine.
Take care
Rhonda
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
So there are people who are only part human, bigger and stronger than Archie and his group. But that's what is needed if they are to win. Should be interesting to say the least. :)
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2017
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So there are people who are only part human, bigger and stronger than Archie and his group. But that's what is needed if they are to win. Should be interesting to say the least. :)
Comment Written 14-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2017
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Thank you, Phyllis. Yeah, the people in Mine City are going to be more animal-like, and that's whey they are there, but the theme of judging others not like yourself will become more pronounced here where the "people" are so prominently different.
Thanks again for your time and attention,
Rhonda
Comment from emptypage
Oh, I've missed this! So glad to finally read another chapter. I'm not certain Archie made the right decision going with this guy, but if you are up and writing maybe I'll know sooner rather than later.
So, so happy you are back.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2017
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Oh, I've missed this! So glad to finally read another chapter. I'm not certain Archie made the right decision going with this guy, but if you are up and writing maybe I'll know sooner rather than later.
So, so happy you are back.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2017
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Thank you, my friend! It's good to read your comments, and enjoy the six star rating!
Yes, I'm back in the game. I went to work this past week and it's really helped me get back into my old routines, and let go the painful summer.
I do so appreciate you!
Rhonda