RESIDUE OF WAR
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Desert Sand"And the futility of it all...
20 total reviews
Comment from WalkerMan
This poem is both powerfully moving and important for people to understand regarding an effect of war that is insufficiently acknowledged -- the invisible harm done to soldiers who survive.
Here, a soldier coming home appreciates the difference between his old familiar surroundings and what he had to endure while serving, and looks forward to reunion with his wife and the comforts of home. Though he had mentally rehearsed what he would say at that moment, the words fade away when he sees her; and she, too, hesitates, uncertain of his feelings and afraid of not meeting his expectations. Then she runs to embrace him, and nothing else matters amid their tears of joy. Yet, as anyone who has fought in a war knows, the memories cannot be escaped, and the resultant adverse effects (such as PTSD) are just beginning.
The thoughts and emotions expressed throughout are vividly realistic, and the hesitation before the embrace is entirely plausible.
All the aabb rhymes work flawlessly, and the whole poem reads with a natural smoothness.
Superb, aptly illustrated, and well presented.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2019
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This poem is both powerfully moving and important for people to understand regarding an effect of war that is insufficiently acknowledged -- the invisible harm done to soldiers who survive.
Here, a soldier coming home appreciates the difference between his old familiar surroundings and what he had to endure while serving, and looks forward to reunion with his wife and the comforts of home. Though he had mentally rehearsed what he would say at that moment, the words fade away when he sees her; and she, too, hesitates, uncertain of his feelings and afraid of not meeting his expectations. Then she runs to embrace him, and nothing else matters amid their tears of joy. Yet, as anyone who has fought in a war knows, the memories cannot be escaped, and the resultant adverse effects (such as PTSD) are just beginning.
The thoughts and emotions expressed throughout are vividly realistic, and the hesitation before the embrace is entirely plausible.
All the aabb rhymes work flawlessly, and the whole poem reads with a natural smoothness.
Superb, aptly illustrated, and well presented.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2019
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Wow! I am honoured by your comments, and how you seem to have analysed this poem within an inch of its life. To say I appreciate the time you've taken in reading this poem, understanding it, and, as aforementioned, analysing it is surely an understatement. I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and will cherish this review for a long time to come.
Thanks again Walker Man, I feel like I've achieved something today!
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You are most welcome. This is how I review any post of substance, which yours certainly is. I endeavor to show that I understand a post before I comment on it and/or mention any technicalities needing attention.
As I said, this post is important because so many soldiers return from our seemingly endless conflicts in a hidden (or not hidden) state of shock over what they saw and had to do. Their thoughts, moods, and sleep will never again be as they were, inevitably adversely affecting their relationships, sense of self, and health. Some are so unable to fit back into society that they become unemployable and consequently homeless -- a sad fate for those who (these days) voluntarily defended our country and way of life.
You performed a public service by writing this. -- Mike
Comment from Ricky1024
"Desert Sand is a Rhyming Contest Entry"
Rich in Theme and Imagery.
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It read well and Flowed well with no Grammar Issues as well.
Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly and good luck with this.
Doctor Ricky 1024
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2019
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"Desert Sand is a Rhyming Contest Entry"
Rich in Theme and Imagery.
...
It read well and Flowed well with no Grammar Issues as well.
Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly and good luck with this.
Doctor Ricky 1024
Comment Written 31-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2019
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Thank you Dr Ricky for your kind review and good luck wishes xoxo
Comment from Janetsue
My heart goes out to all military personnel, and especially to those serving in areas of intense conflict. It is these brave men and women who are standing on the line separating our nation's freedom from a horrendous tragedy. The value of their service is beyond any imaginable price. Thank you for sharing this. (I truly wish I had a six for it!)
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2019
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My heart goes out to all military personnel, and especially to those serving in areas of intense conflict. It is these brave men and women who are standing on the line separating our nation's freedom from a horrendous tragedy. The value of their service is beyond any imaginable price. Thank you for sharing this. (I truly wish I had a six for it!)
Comment Written 31-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2019
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Thank you very much Spangle, for taking the time to read and review. I also appreciate the virtual six, as it's the thought that counts!
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You're very welcome! :-)
Comment from royowen
I remember your previous pseudonym as alpacalady, but more than than I found you were a fellow Aussie. Goo'day cobber. I like the way you've crossgendered and written this like a bloke returning to his love from a desert campaign and not being sure of the response, funnily enough, women more confident and sure when it comes to these things, men need leadership in matters of the heart, whatever the reasons are. This is superbly written my friend, an excellent entry in this contest, must have taken a while, I've got to get back to a similarly written epic I've started, well done, good look, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2019
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I remember your previous pseudonym as alpacalady, but more than than I found you were a fellow Aussie. Goo'day cobber. I like the way you've crossgendered and written this like a bloke returning to his love from a desert campaign and not being sure of the response, funnily enough, women more confident and sure when it comes to these things, men need leadership in matters of the heart, whatever the reasons are. This is superbly written my friend, an excellent entry in this contest, must have taken a while, I've got to get back to a similarly written epic I've started, well done, good look, blessings Roy
Comment Written 31-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2019
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Thanks Roy, my fellow cobber lol! Your kind comments are very much appreciated my friend xoxoxoxo
Comment from Janice Canerdy
This is a truly excellent poem--skillfully-written (word choices, rhyme,
and meter) and vividly descriptive. Your powerful lines get inside the mind of a soldier coming home to his wife and home at last.
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2019
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This is a truly excellent poem--skillfully-written (word choices, rhyme,
and meter) and vividly descriptive. Your powerful lines get inside the mind of a soldier coming home to his wife and home at last.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2019
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Thanks so much Janice, for such kind comments and excellent review xoxoxo
Comment from Patty Palmer
This is a beautiful poem about our soldiers serving in the middle east. Looking forward to USA soil and the girl they left behind, it's still a scary place to be because they have changed. It takes patience and understanding to allow them time to process everything that has happened in that year. Good job!
Patty
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2019
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This is a beautiful poem about our soldiers serving in the middle east. Looking forward to USA soil and the girl they left behind, it's still a scary place to be because they have changed. It takes patience and understanding to allow them time to process everything that has happened in that year. Good job!
Patty
Comment Written 30-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2019
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Thanks Patty, for your thoughtful comments, and for this six star review. I appreciate it! xoxox
Comment from brenda bickers
Hi there,
I think most people who serve or face war are changed when they come home. They see things that no one should have to endure. Living with such memories can change who you are. Some turn to drink to try to forget. some become dethatched from normal life and others become violent. This is a sad poem but so beautifully written.
Good luck in the contest.
Brenda.x
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2019
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Hi there,
I think most people who serve or face war are changed when they come home. They see things that no one should have to endure. Living with such memories can change who you are. Some turn to drink to try to forget. some become dethatched from normal life and others become violent. This is a sad poem but so beautifully written.
Good luck in the contest.
Brenda.x
Comment Written 29-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2019
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Thank you very much Brenda xoxox
Comment from Bill Pinder
I enjoyed reading this poem that is well written and deals with the intense turmoil that the survivors will face after returning home from war. PTSD is a terrible disorder that causes extreme distress. All relationships will be severely tested during a tough time of transition. Thanks for sharing!
Bill
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2019
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I enjoyed reading this poem that is well written and deals with the intense turmoil that the survivors will face after returning home from war. PTSD is a terrible disorder that causes extreme distress. All relationships will be severely tested during a tough time of transition. Thanks for sharing!
Bill
Comment Written 29-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2019
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Thanks so much Bill xoxox
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Gypsy. You have made an excellent narrative telling of the effect of war in the ME had on the men that returned. The big problem in that part of the world is the multiple deployments. We have been there so long that soldiers are returned to that part of the world many times. It is a well done entry for the contest and I wish you well. Robert
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2019
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Hello Gypsy. You have made an excellent narrative telling of the effect of war in the ME had on the men that returned. The big problem in that part of the world is the multiple deployments. We have been there so long that soldiers are returned to that part of the world many times. It is a well done entry for the contest and I wish you well. Robert
Comment Written 29-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2019
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Thank you Robert xo
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You're welcome
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a wonderful piece for the Rhyming Poetry contest.
While I know that those of us who have never served can not possilby understand what you've been through, your colorful verse gives us a bit of a glimpse.
Wel done and good luck to you with the contest.
Sharon
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2019
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I think this is a wonderful piece for the Rhyming Poetry contest.
While I know that those of us who have never served can not possilby understand what you've been through, your colorful verse gives us a bit of a glimpse.
Wel done and good luck to you with the contest.
Sharon
Comment Written 29-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2019
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Thank you Sharon xo