Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Dear old Gram,"A book of Poetry & Writing
124 total reviews
Comment from bhogg
A nice tribute to your grandmother. You openly admit that your spelling and grammar aren't always the best. I have to tell you that I don't even pay attention to it on your poetry. It may be rough, but always poignant!
reply by the author on 19-May-2010
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A nice tribute to your grandmother. You openly admit that your spelling and grammar aren't always the best. I have to tell you that I don't even pay attention to it on your poetry. It may be rough, but always poignant!
Comment Written 19-May-2010
reply by the author on 19-May-2010
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thank you bhogg
Comment from mountainwriter49
I love this tribute to your grandmother and congratulate
you for taking time to honor her in this manner. I am also
pleased to see I'm not the only writer to use the verb "to do"
as a way to emphasize something. ie, "The morning did come..."
A prisoner of war[,] she learned to endure
She lived through this time [ordeal] for us all.
The morning did come with a risen[rising] sun
We laid her this day with tears all did say I miss you
[suggested revision: We laid her to rest with tears in our eyes; all did say, "we miss you."]
I know what you're trying to say here, and my suggestion is just that, a suggestion. What you've written, if considered in the vernacular, is "we laid her this day" but that can have connotations you're not intending, which is why I thought it important to say "to rest".
Thanks for sharing your poem.
ray
reply by the author on 19-May-2010
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I love this tribute to your grandmother and congratulate
you for taking time to honor her in this manner. I am also
pleased to see I'm not the only writer to use the verb "to do"
as a way to emphasize something. ie, "The morning did come..."
A prisoner of war[,] she learned to endure
She lived through this time [ordeal] for us all.
The morning did come with a risen[rising] sun
We laid her this day with tears all did say I miss you
[suggested revision: We laid her to rest with tears in our eyes; all did say, "we miss you."]
I know what you're trying to say here, and my suggestion is just that, a suggestion. What you've written, if considered in the vernacular, is "we laid her this day" but that can have connotations you're not intending, which is why I thought it important to say "to rest".
Thanks for sharing your poem.
ray
Comment Written 19-May-2010
reply by the author on 19-May-2010
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thank you Ray and for the comments
Comment from Kashif Ali Abbas
Such a great tributary style and powerful poem to be followed.
The morning did come with a risen sun
And new winds cleaned her land.
We laid her this day with tears all did say I miss you
Dear old Gram.[ Nice flow and good lines]
K
reply by the author on 19-May-2010
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Such a great tributary style and powerful poem to be followed.
The morning did come with a risen sun
And new winds cleaned her land.
We laid her this day with tears all did say I miss you
Dear old Gram.[ Nice flow and good lines]
K
Comment Written 19-May-2010
reply by the author on 19-May-2010
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thank you K for reading
Comment from lola29
Your poem is a wonderful tribut to your Gram. After reading your poem, I can esaily understand why she was so inspirational in your life.
reply by the author on 19-May-2010
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Your poem is a wonderful tribut to your Gram. After reading your poem, I can esaily understand why she was so inspirational in your life.
Comment Written 19-May-2010
reply by the author on 19-May-2010
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thank you Lola for reading GW
Comment from Peter@Poole
Not a badly written poem, and the imagery you provide is vivid. Rhyme and near rhyme are excellent, and the tribute you pay to Gram is poignant. Peter
reply by the author on 19-May-2010
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Not a badly written poem, and the imagery you provide is vivid. Rhyme and near rhyme are excellent, and the tribute you pay to Gram is poignant. Peter
Comment Written 19-May-2010
reply by the author on 19-May-2010
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thank you Peter
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Actually, it was well written!
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thank you Peter for that comment Gary
Comment from Perp Ihebom
This is a beautiful tribute to a loving woman and mother whose life touched many people. I like the internal rhymes in some of the lines. KUDOS
reply by the author on 19-May-2010
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This is a beautiful tribute to a loving woman and mother whose life touched many people. I like the internal rhymes in some of the lines. KUDOS
Comment Written 19-May-2010
reply by the author on 19-May-2010
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thanks again for reading Perp
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
This is a touching poetic look at some hard history through which your grandmother lived in those difficult days when "injustice occupied her land." Best wishes to you, Jeanie Mercer
reply by the author on 19-May-2010
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This is a touching poetic look at some hard history through which your grandmother lived in those difficult days when "injustice occupied her land." Best wishes to you, Jeanie Mercer
Comment Written 19-May-2010
reply by the author on 19-May-2010
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thank you Jeanie
Comment from PatriciaLiteHickman
What a touching and loving tribute to your Gram! Yes, they went through a lot so that we can live as we do today! Well written! I have 9 gr/children and can only hope that one day, one of them will remember me as warmly :-) Blessings, Tricia
reply by the author on 19-May-2010
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What a touching and loving tribute to your Gram! Yes, they went through a lot so that we can live as we do today! Well written! I have 9 gr/children and can only hope that one day, one of them will remember me as warmly :-) Blessings, Tricia
Comment Written 19-May-2010
reply by the author on 19-May-2010
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thank you Tricia regards Gary
Comment from janian
God bless you! how can anyone believe the holocaust wasn't true? The evidence speaks for it's self. Very beautifull way to honor your grandmother. blessings much, love ,janian.
reply by the author on 19-May-2010
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God bless you! how can anyone believe the holocaust wasn't true? The evidence speaks for it's self. Very beautifull way to honor your grandmother. blessings much, love ,janian.
Comment Written 19-May-2010
reply by the author on 19-May-2010
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thank you janian
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any time!,janian
Comment from volunteer angel
Your Grandmother had a hard life. The poem shows what she endured. "The morning did come with a risen sun" shows the changes made after she was gone. Great story! Mary Ann
reply by the author on 19-May-2010
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Your Grandmother had a hard life. The poem shows what she endured. "The morning did come with a risen sun" shows the changes made after she was gone. Great story! Mary Ann
Comment Written 19-May-2010
reply by the author on 19-May-2010
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thank you Mary Ann