Forgotten Thoughts
Sometimes They Come Back103 total reviews
Comment from Joan E.
I'm so glad your back--I've missed your wonderful use of poetic devices and imagery. I enjoyed your rhymed couplets and cadence and particularly admired the mood of "used up yesterdays." Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2013
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I'm so glad your back--I've missed your wonderful use of poetic devices and imagery. I enjoyed your rhymed couplets and cadence and particularly admired the mood of "used up yesterdays." Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 21-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2013
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Thank you Joan!
I missed writing too, so I came back just to let some more out.
I truly appreciate your thoughts, as I admire your talent also, old friend. (I mean in the sense that I knew you from years ago!)
Curt
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"Old" is o.k.--I am of a "certain age"! lol- Joan
Comment from WickedRestless
I love this. You did a really good job of rhyming without making it seem stilted, as though you only chose words _because_ they rhymed, and that's not something I see very often. That said, you might be able to direct the flow better if you used more punctuation, rather than just having two sentences in the entire piece. The way you have it does work though, so I just want to make sure that you're choosing it deliberately.
Also, since this is the second piece of yours that I've really loved, I'm fanning you. :D
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2013
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I love this. You did a really good job of rhyming without making it seem stilted, as though you only chose words _because_ they rhymed, and that's not something I see very often. That said, you might be able to direct the flow better if you used more punctuation, rather than just having two sentences in the entire piece. The way you have it does work though, so I just want to make sure that you're choosing it deliberately.
Also, since this is the second piece of yours that I've really loved, I'm fanning you. :D
Comment Written 21-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2013
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Wow, thank you!
I did intentionally leave out punctuation, thinking it unecessary, but if I do hear more of the same comments, I will consider it seriously.
Your thoughts and comments are truly appreciated.
Curt
Comment from Kingsland
This is a bit of a dark poem. It flows thoughts its thoughts and phrases very smoothly and gets its point across in excellent poetic terms. It is a well written verse that I enjoyed reading... John
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2013
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This is a bit of a dark poem. It flows thoughts its thoughts and phrases very smoothly and gets its point across in excellent poetic terms. It is a well written verse that I enjoyed reading... John
Comment Written 21-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2013
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Thank you John,
your thoughts are always welcome here my friend.
Sincerely,
Curt
Comment from dmt1967
This is a very well written poem the picture was a nice touch it looked like the cob webs in the mind I thought that the picture was a good one thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2013
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This is a very well written poem the picture was a nice touch it looked like the cob webs in the mind I thought that the picture was a good one thank you for sharing
Comment Written 21-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2013
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Thank you for your thoughts and for your generous rating, they are appreciated.
Curt
Comment from Selina Stambi
Wounds that sit on shelves like broken jars ... a beautiful, evocative line. You have many such.
This piece brought so many sharp, vivid images into my mind.
Yes, the subject is self evident!
A really good poem.
Spags:
Woven( Past participle of weave - not weaved; however, in the interest of rhyme, I wonder if weaved could be permitted?)
crimson-laced (missed the apostrophe)
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2013
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Wounds that sit on shelves like broken jars ... a beautiful, evocative line. You have many such.
This piece brought so many sharp, vivid images into my mind.
Yes, the subject is self evident!
A really good poem.
Spags:
Woven( Past participle of weave - not weaved; however, in the interest of rhyme, I wonder if weaved could be permitted?)
crimson-laced (missed the apostrophe)
Comment Written 21-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2013
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Thank you for your kind thoughts on this piece.
I was going to claim poetic license on the "weaved" issue, but decided to change it instead.
Again, thank you for your helpful review.
Curt
Comment from jgemini
Dear Curt, WOW! You've fashioned a gripping poem that captured me with its dark, compelling imagery, its rhythm, rhyme and meter. I can feel your nightmare in my own head as I read.
One minor suggestion: I am bothered by the grammatically incorrect "I've weaved," (wrong tense). And "I've woven" doesn't work with your rhyme, --but I'm sure a writer of your abilities can solve this easily, if you even care.
I love your "wounds... on shelves in broken jars." What a strong visual. "It's marvelous! Thank you, Sir!
All the best,
Jgemini :)
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2013
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Dear Curt, WOW! You've fashioned a gripping poem that captured me with its dark, compelling imagery, its rhythm, rhyme and meter. I can feel your nightmare in my own head as I read.
One minor suggestion: I am bothered by the grammatically incorrect "I've weaved," (wrong tense). And "I've woven" doesn't work with your rhyme, --but I'm sure a writer of your abilities can solve this easily, if you even care.
I love your "wounds... on shelves in broken jars." What a strong visual. "It's marvelous! Thank you, Sir!
All the best,
Jgemini :)
Comment Written 21-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2013
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Thanks!
I did decide to change it, rather than explain to everyone why I was going to claim poetic license with the wording.
Again, than you for your wonderful review and help,
Curt
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Curt, I love that I can go on editing my stuff here forever. And I do. I'll go look, and see what you did. It's a great piece, Curt. You're very welcome! -J :)
Comment from ChrisGarrett
Giving you the legendary 6 stars (never done that before!) I honestly can't thing of a thing to change, it flows great and goes from sad to angry in the 2nd paragraph without it seeming odd. Damn good job.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2013
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Giving you the legendary 6 stars (never done that before!) I honestly can't thing of a thing to change, it flows great and goes from sad to angry in the 2nd paragraph without it seeming odd. Damn good job.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2013
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I am indeed honnored that you would choose my work to give your first six to.
Your most kind comments are very much appreciated also, I am humbled my friend.
Curt
Comment from teafor2
Curt Mongold--This is an ambitious introspective and retro-spective soliloquy of a traipse through a tortured con-science. Good, bad or indifferent, a hard copy of thoughts/
feelings can be cathartic and/or mitigating. A Poe-like ren-der. teafor2
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2013
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Curt Mongold--This is an ambitious introspective and retro-spective soliloquy of a traipse through a tortured con-science. Good, bad or indifferent, a hard copy of thoughts/
feelings can be cathartic and/or mitigating. A Poe-like ren-der. teafor2
Comment Written 21-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2013
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Thank you for the kind thoughts and for the comparison to one of my favorite poets!
I coudn't think of a nicer thing you could have said,
Curt
Comment from seewhatimwritingnow
What a way with words you have! Very well-written poem with perfect rhythm and flow. Loved every word of this, telling how old, forgotten memories also remain inside and we never know when they will raise their ugly heads. Loved the line "they crash as seas of sorrow flood the salty taste of pain
into my mouth as I turn south where nothing left remains" Describing 'tears'. Just beautifully done! Bravo! Betty
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2013
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What a way with words you have! Very well-written poem with perfect rhythm and flow. Loved every word of this, telling how old, forgotten memories also remain inside and we never know when they will raise their ugly heads. Loved the line "they crash as seas of sorrow flood the salty taste of pain
into my mouth as I turn south where nothing left remains" Describing 'tears'. Just beautifully done! Bravo! Betty
Comment Written 21-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2013
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Thank you so much Betty, for your more than generous rating, and esp. for your thoughts on my work. You understand my references well, and are the first to mention it.
Thanks again,
Curt
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You are so welcome, Curt. Great piece. Betty
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I really enjoyed reading your poem, I loved the rhythm and rhyme, it just bounced down the page. Memories are wonderful whilst you can keep hold of them, it's when they go and hide in the shadows they become the worry. A real pleasure to read. xsx Sandra
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2013
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I really enjoyed reading your poem, I loved the rhythm and rhyme, it just bounced down the page. Memories are wonderful whilst you can keep hold of them, it's when they go and hide in the shadows they become the worry. A real pleasure to read. xsx Sandra
Comment Written 21-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2013
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Thank you for your time and thoughts Sandra, they are appreciated.
Curt