Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "Life"A book of Poetry & Writing
134 total reviews
Comment from Judian James
Hi, I like this one too. The very first line should not have that comma after "is" because it directs the reader to pause and breaks the flow of a perfect starting line.
"You have it within you, to reach and fly high
So remove your defenses, go reach for the sky" I think I'd go for a little less cliched and say the same thing in your own, unique voice. Just some thoughts. well done
Have I said, "welcome to FanStory" yet? Jude
reply by the author on 05-May-2010
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Hi, I like this one too. The very first line should not have that comma after "is" because it directs the reader to pause and breaks the flow of a perfect starting line.
"You have it within you, to reach and fly high
So remove your defenses, go reach for the sky" I think I'd go for a little less cliched and say the same thing in your own, unique voice. Just some thoughts. well done
Have I said, "welcome to FanStory" yet? Jude
Comment Written 05-May-2010
reply by the author on 05-May-2010
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thank you
Comment from Isaiah Ramesses
An inspiring poem, with shades of wisdom and elder knowledge. Well written and thought provoking presentation.
Isaiah Ramesses
reply by the author on 05-May-2010
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An inspiring poem, with shades of wisdom and elder knowledge. Well written and thought provoking presentation.
Isaiah Ramesses
Comment Written 05-May-2010
reply by the author on 05-May-2010
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thank you
Comment from Marathonwriter
Hi deepwater,
Another thought provoking poem from you. I enjoyed this one almost as much as the first. I agree. Our success in this life depends a lot on remembering where we started from.
:0)Chris
reply by the author on 05-May-2010
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Hi deepwater,
Another thought provoking poem from you. I enjoyed this one almost as much as the first. I agree. Our success in this life depends a lot on remembering where we started from.
:0)Chris
Comment Written 05-May-2010
reply by the author on 05-May-2010
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thank you
Comment from vandawalker
I like the pattern you're using in your poems. The rhyme is not contrived and flows very nicely. This poem is inspiring a person to try and do what they can. You've organized it well and it's a truly beautiful way to express your theme. Good writing.
reply by the author on 05-May-2010
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I like the pattern you're using in your poems. The rhyme is not contrived and flows very nicely. This poem is inspiring a person to try and do what they can. You've organized it well and it's a truly beautiful way to express your theme. Good writing.
Comment Written 05-May-2010
reply by the author on 05-May-2010
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thank you
Comment from wierdgrace
excellent, and the feelings and the emotional feelings in the words, well written, I loved the story you told, no errors and no revisins, jjust a strong structure. thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 05-May-2010
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excellent, and the feelings and the emotional feelings in the words, well written, I loved the story you told, no errors and no revisins, jjust a strong structure. thank you for sharing
Comment Written 05-May-2010
reply by the author on 05-May-2010
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Thank you wierdgrace for your comments and for reading my work
Gary
Comment from debbier2461
I love the sentiment of this poem. It's well written and all very true. I have no criticism's, just a well done. I enjoyed it greatly.
reply by the author on 05-May-2010
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I love the sentiment of this poem. It's well written and all very true. I have no criticism's, just a well done. I enjoyed it greatly.
Comment Written 05-May-2010
reply by the author on 05-May-2010
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Thank you Debbier
Comment from Dall
Wonderful, I loved this. And it made me think of something I want to do and I think I may be a little afraid but, At least i can try. Good poem here not just the rhyme but also the message.. thank you!
reply by the author on 05-May-2010
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Wonderful, I loved this. And it made me think of something I want to do and I think I may be a little afraid but, At least i can try. Good poem here not just the rhyme but also the message.. thank you!
Comment Written 05-May-2010
reply by the author on 05-May-2010
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Thank you for reading Dall
Comment from winsome
I think this is a very profound message. The poem rhymes well and reads fluently. I really enjoyed this.
Remember the past on this new path you fly
Real friends will stay, locked deep in your heart
So always remember the place that you start
reply by the author on 05-May-2010
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I think this is a very profound message. The poem rhymes well and reads fluently. I really enjoyed this.
Remember the past on this new path you fly
Real friends will stay, locked deep in your heart
So always remember the place that you start
Comment Written 05-May-2010
reply by the author on 05-May-2010
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Thank you winsome
Comment from misscookie
I think this is an excellence poem
the words are something every reader can relate to I'm sure.
there is a message with in this write.
reply by the author on 05-May-2010
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I think this is an excellence poem
the words are something every reader can relate to I'm sure.
there is a message with in this write.
Comment Written 05-May-2010
reply by the author on 05-May-2010
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Thank you Miss Cookie for reaming
Gary
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You are very welcome, have a nice day.
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You are very welcome.
Comment from Realist101
Hi Gary, as I read this, I saw myself...so, I am going to try a little less self pity...try, being the key word, I enjoy work such as this, that gives me pause...good job. Susan...update, for stars~ So sorry...S.
reply by the author on 05-May-2010
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Hi Gary, as I read this, I saw myself...so, I am going to try a little less self pity...try, being the key word, I enjoy work such as this, that gives me pause...good job. Susan...update, for stars~ So sorry...S.
Comment Written 05-May-2010
reply by the author on 05-May-2010
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Thank you Susan for reading
Gary