Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "storm warning"A book of Poetry & Writing
178 total reviews
Comment from idnami
I think the concept is really good, the idea of being alone on the sea when a storm blows up is terrifying.
I think that the tight structure of couplets and the somewhat timeworn rhyme scheme really interfere with the urgency of what the reader should be feeling. Someone is dying here! It felt impersonal when it should be as encompassing as the water closing over the subject's head.
I like the story, but I feel that the structure of this poem doesn't suit it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2010
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I think the concept is really good, the idea of being alone on the sea when a storm blows up is terrifying.
I think that the tight structure of couplets and the somewhat timeworn rhyme scheme really interfere with the urgency of what the reader should be feeling. Someone is dying here! It felt impersonal when it should be as encompassing as the water closing over the subject's head.
I like the story, but I feel that the structure of this poem doesn't suit it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2010
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thanks for the comment
Comment from Gideon Roth
Writings from the heart is another somber poem that clearly conveys the emotions that are felt from the viewpoint of someone dying at sea. Well done...Gideon
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2010
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Writings from the heart is another somber poem that clearly conveys the emotions that are felt from the viewpoint of someone dying at sea. Well done...Gideon
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2010
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thank you Gideon for the review and comments GW
Comment from Melba
Well written poem. Nice beginning prepares you for the worst. Good rhyme and meter. Beautiful photo for imagery. Well contructed verses that gracefully bringing you to the almost not too sad ending.
Melba
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2010
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Well written poem. Nice beginning prepares you for the worst. Good rhyme and meter. Beautiful photo for imagery. Well contructed verses that gracefully bringing you to the almost not too sad ending.
Melba
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2010
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thank you Melba for your review and comments GW
Comment from Mystery Lady
This is a picture perfect poem of a storm. I loved it. I
could picture myself being in the middle of that storm,
watching it's fury. Great writing here. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2010
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This is a picture perfect poem of a storm. I loved it. I
could picture myself being in the middle of that storm,
watching it's fury. Great writing here. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2010
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thank you for reading and the review Mystery
Comment from Jean Lutz
Powerful writing. At first I thought this was about the young women that became lost at sea for awhile while attempting to set a record. I am sure many can relate and your words are a comfort to anyone who has lost a loved on at sea. I once considered joining the Navy, but spent five years in the U.S. Air Force instead.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
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Powerful writing. At first I thought this was about the young women that became lost at sea for awhile while attempting to set a record. I am sure many can relate and your words are a comfort to anyone who has lost a loved on at sea. I once considered joining the Navy, but spent five years in the U.S. Air Force instead.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
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thank you for your welcome comments and review Jean and for the great 6 Gary
Comment from arto_flip
The hope near the end of the poem is my favorite part. There's so much somber emotion in the depictions but the end leaves me with a feeling of freedom. I like
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
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The hope near the end of the poem is my favorite part. There's so much somber emotion in the depictions but the end leaves me with a feeling of freedom. I like
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
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thank you arto_flip
Comment from koyoga
This is a very emotional, powerful piece. I was
reminded of the sixteen year old who tried to
sail around the world. Vivid, clear descriptions
of the oceans rage and wonderful imagery in
your writing.
Thank you for sharing your work.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
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This is a very emotional, powerful piece. I was
reminded of the sixteen year old who tried to
sail around the world. Vivid, clear descriptions
of the oceans rage and wonderful imagery in
your writing.
Thank you for sharing your work.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
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your welcome koyoga
Comment from Aletheia
Fantastic imagery! This poem is very deep and packed with emotion, as you describe the thoughts this man has as he lives his last moments. It's a very sad poem, but it is hopeful at the end. I think you need a comma after the word high in the second to last line.
Excellent write! B :)
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
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Fantastic imagery! This poem is very deep and packed with emotion, as you describe the thoughts this man has as he lives his last moments. It's a very sad poem, but it is hopeful at the end. I think you need a comma after the word high in the second to last line.
Excellent write! B :)
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
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thank you for the review and comment begonia
Comment from Alpha Female
I really like this one. There is a deep spiritual meaning to it. But it still has suspense and some tension to it. The colors and picture complete the effect. Well done.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
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I really like this one. There is a deep spiritual meaning to it. But it still has suspense and some tension to it. The colors and picture complete the effect. Well done.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
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thank you Alpha Female for your comment and review
Comment from MikiB
A very good writing here on this poetry about a storm at sea. The picture you chose is very good showing waves that could be in a storm.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
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A very good writing here on this poetry about a storm at sea. The picture you chose is very good showing waves that could be in a storm.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
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thank you Miki for reviewing and comments GW