A Murder Most Fowl
It's best to be happy with who--or what--we are...138 total reviews
Comment from Terrie DeGolier
Powerful poem describing the wish to jump, the landing on rocks and all a dream of a crow to wake and appreciate what he has. The picture is beautiful. I too wrote about crows if I may suggest I hope you can take a peek at it for I feel they see creatures from God's point of view. I loved your work and I grew up on the Seneca Reservation I also liked the way you incorporated the Dream Catcher. Perfect ending.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2014
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Powerful poem describing the wish to jump, the landing on rocks and all a dream of a crow to wake and appreciate what he has. The picture is beautiful. I too wrote about crows if I may suggest I hope you can take a peek at it for I feel they see creatures from God's point of view. I loved your work and I grew up on the Seneca Reservation I also liked the way you incorporated the Dream Catcher. Perfect ending.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2014
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Thank you very much for such a wonderful review, Terrie. I will check out the piece you mentioned post haste!
Comment from Norbanus
As often is the case with tails of grief
this one reveals a story wracked with pain.
She thinks of ways to gain some sweet relief.
and feels the end life of life to be a gain.
The wise old crow attempts to help her down,
but she sees nothing past the pain of lack.
In life she thinks there's nothing to renown.
She's found solution. There's not turning back.
'So, let me see.' She stands to face the test.
'I've waited all my life outside this door
The two of us together, did our best,
Our best just doesn't cut it anymore.'
you show set notions hardest to disturb.
in this fine verse with resonance superb
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As often is the case with tails of grief
this one reveals a story wracked with pain.
She thinks of ways to gain some sweet relief.
and feels the end life of life to be a gain.
The wise old crow attempts to help her down,
but she sees nothing past the pain of lack.
In life she thinks there's nothing to renown.
She's found solution. There's not turning back.
'So, let me see.' She stands to face the test.
'I've waited all my life outside this door
The two of us together, did our best,
Our best just doesn't cut it anymore.'
you show set notions hardest to disturb.
in this fine verse with resonance superb
Comment Written 30-Mar-2014
Comment from Jean Lutz
A chilling write with a surprise ending. Thank you for all the information added in the author notes. As I read along, I was thinking about how a crow took on a job that we should all be doing -- that of encouraging someone who thinks they are defeated.
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A chilling write with a surprise ending. Thank you for all the information added in the author notes. As I read along, I was thinking about how a crow took on a job that we should all be doing -- that of encouraging someone who thinks they are defeated.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2014
Comment from DR DIP
love it! loving the beat and rhythm you create in your poems Dean and the production is second to none!.
she might be stark raven mad for all we crow!
dip
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love it! loving the beat and rhythm you create in your poems Dean and the production is second to none!.
she might be stark raven mad for all we crow!
dip
Comment Written 30-Mar-2014
Comment from Stefan Simanic
An excellent poem.
I enjoyed both the playful language that you used as well as the imagery. The atmosphere of the poem is enchanting and filled with spiritual symbolism.
The only thing that stood out to me as in need of a bit of editing was this line:
"along the way that fateful day she pondered better days";
The repetition of the word "day/s" feels a little, well, repetitive. But that's a minor complaint, the poem is otherwise great.
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An excellent poem.
I enjoyed both the playful language that you used as well as the imagery. The atmosphere of the poem is enchanting and filled with spiritual symbolism.
The only thing that stood out to me as in need of a bit of editing was this line:
"along the way that fateful day she pondered better days";
The repetition of the word "day/s" feels a little, well, repetitive. But that's a minor complaint, the poem is otherwise great.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2014
Comment from c_lucas
For a moment there, I though Poe's Raven pushed her. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read.
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reply by the author on 30-Mar-2014
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For a moment there, I though Poe's Raven pushed her. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2014
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Hah, one would think that coming from me, wouldn't they, Charlie? But no, not today, my friend. Perhaps it will another time...
Thanks for your comments and review, it's greatly appreciated.
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You're welcome, Dean. Charlie
Comment from Andrewajgblue
I love your writing, your use of language and ryhme is just brilliant, I loved this story in fact I almost didn't want it to finish I was enjoying it so much, and the flow was spot on,bravo,
Andrew
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2014
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I love your writing, your use of language and ryhme is just brilliant, I loved this story in fact I almost didn't want it to finish I was enjoying it so much, and the flow was spot on,bravo,
Andrew
Comment Written 30-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2014
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Thank you very much, Andrew, that is a wonderful compliment my friend. I'm certainly ecstatic that you enjoyed the tale. Pleasant screams, my friend!
Comment from Christof McTarnahan
Good stuff... A murder of crows, huh? I might use that somewhere in time. Amazing word pile as always, D-Nuts. You are a wonderful poet.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2014
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Good stuff... A murder of crows, huh? I might use that somewhere in time. Amazing word pile as always, D-Nuts. You are a wonderful poet.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2014
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Thanks a million, 'Sak. That's a great compliment coming from you. Yeah, a murder of crows -- I found that to be pretty interesting, and that's what inspired this one. Well, that, and the photo.
Much obliged, my talented fiend!