Genius in Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Genius in Love, Scene 9"In Search of a Soul
32 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Aww, that was lovely! I went all goose-pimply. You wrote that so amazingly well, Jay, it was like nothing I've read before and just so, so nice. Having a dislexic and autistic grandson, my Eric, I know what these children are like. They live in a world that belongs only to themselves, but when they venture out, it is magical. I loved this scene, my friend, you are brilliant!! A well deserved six in my book! Well done. :)) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
  |
Aww, that was lovely! I went all goose-pimply. You wrote that so amazingly well, Jay, it was like nothing I've read before and just so, so nice. Having a dislexic and autistic grandson, my Eric, I know what these children are like. They live in a world that belongs only to themselves, but when they venture out, it is magical. I loved this scene, my friend, you are brilliant!! A well deserved six in my book! Well done. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 22-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
-
That means so much that it connected with you, Sandra. And you saved a six, all the way out three days! LOL, I am humbled, though, my dear. Thank you so very very much!
-
You are very welcome, Jay. I really do love this story. xxx
Comment from elchupakabra
Mustard and pickles? I thought Cornelius was supposed to be the 'crazy one' :P I think the dialogue is pretty good and considering this part of script hinges on that, it's really well done. Great work and thanks for sharing. Later daze.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
 |
Mustard and pickles? I thought Cornelius was supposed to be the 'crazy one' :P I think the dialogue is pretty good and considering this part of script hinges on that, it's really well done. Great work and thanks for sharing. Later daze.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
-
Well, the eater of the pickles and mustard sandwiches did die, after all. Go figure. Thanks for reading, Daze.
Comment from Theodore McDowell
Well done. In this short scene you capture the character and quirks of both the boy and girl. Your directions and stage directions are impeccable. Your use of pauses and breaks is also perfect. Keep it up
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
|
Well done. In this short scene you capture the character and quirks of both the boy and girl. Your directions and stage directions are impeccable. Your use of pauses and breaks is also perfect. Keep it up
Comment Written 22-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
-
I'm so pleased you took a chance on this one, Theodore. So many are not into play format. Consensus seems to be, though, that since the stage directions are made for the reader and not the actor, it works as a type of description and narrative, punctuated by dialogue. I hope you give the next one a go.
Comment from lancellot
A much shorter chapter, and not a lot going on. Hmm, you do a good job showcasing the emotions of your characters. I'm not too sure about calling this Romance fiction (considering the ages involved). But, nothing romantic is happening yet so, label it as you wish. Solid work.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
|
A much shorter chapter, and not a lot going on. Hmm, you do a good job showcasing the emotions of your characters. I'm not too sure about calling this Romance fiction (considering the ages involved). But, nothing romantic is happening yet so, label it as you wish. Solid work.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
-
Yes, Lance, It is a lot shorter scene. The entire play is classed as romance, but every chapter won't be, and certainly, it would be bizarre to have two twelve-year-olds, particularly one, who has severe relationship problems, engaging in love-making.
Thank you for reading and for your candid comments.
Comment from lyenochka
Loved this scene, Jay! So much progress for our dear Cornelius here. I think you really captured his speech and his processing the interaction with Jennie and probably what he sees Cililla doing. I also liked how you did Jennie's dialogue with the nervous chatter. It seems that she's suffered a tragedy in her life, having lost a brother. Something touches Cornelius to make him want to share half a sandwich - that is compassion which is a real breakthrough for people with autism. Great job!
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
|
Loved this scene, Jay! So much progress for our dear Cornelius here. I think you really captured his speech and his processing the interaction with Jennie and probably what he sees Cililla doing. I also liked how you did Jennie's dialogue with the nervous chatter. It seems that she's suffered a tragedy in her life, having lost a brother. Something touches Cornelius to make him want to share half a sandwich - that is compassion which is a real breakthrough for people with autism. Great job!
Comment Written 21-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
-
That means so much to me, coming from you, Lyenochka. Thank you for reading and responding so warmly to this scene.
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Jay:
Thanks for telling us to read the author's notes before reading this scene. I began school in the 50s but had no exposure to students with special needs because they were educated in a separate setting at that time. You did a really good job of capturing this scene as it would have likely taken place. Thanks for sharing.
Rdfrdmom2
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
|
Jay:
Thanks for telling us to read the author's notes before reading this scene. I began school in the 50s but had no exposure to students with special needs because they were educated in a separate setting at that time. You did a really good job of capturing this scene as it would have likely taken place. Thanks for sharing.
Rdfrdmom2
Comment Written 20-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
-
Thank you so much for your kind words and the lovely stars! I hope you become a regular reader of this play.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Great chapter, Jay! I really feel the emotions of both characters. Cornelius is very well depicted. He has problems reaching out to Jennie, but wants to. The way he handed over the sandwich was a great touch.
Cornelius' speech pattern was spot on, and made us feel closer to his character.
Jennie is such a great character. She is sympathetic to Cornelius, somehow feeling an empathy towards a child who is physically attractive, yet stands apart because of his "affliction".
I forgot to tell you I love the way the story tells out in script format. It really helps you see what's going on.
Excellent work,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
|
Great chapter, Jay! I really feel the emotions of both characters. Cornelius is very well depicted. He has problems reaching out to Jennie, but wants to. The way he handed over the sandwich was a great touch.
Cornelius' speech pattern was spot on, and made us feel closer to his character.
Jennie is such a great character. She is sympathetic to Cornelius, somehow feeling an empathy towards a child who is physically attractive, yet stands apart because of his "affliction".
I forgot to tell you I love the way the story tells out in script format. It really helps you see what's going on.
Excellent work,
Rhonda
Comment Written 20-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
-
Rhonda, thank you, as ever, for your thoughtful and kind review ... and the lovely, loverly six stars!
Comment from Leann DS
Jenny is such a sweet girl. I love the whole interaction about the sandwiches. I could see this happening in real life with two 12-year-olds. thank you for the reminder about what year this took place. I had forgotten. For the most part, it could realistically take place in any year, in my opinion.
What is going on with his music? He hasn't done anything with it the whole play... Well, except at the beginning. And what's going on with his parents? Their relationship seemed... Rocky? Just wondering. Thanks again for sharing! Hugs.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
|
Jenny is such a sweet girl. I love the whole interaction about the sandwiches. I could see this happening in real life with two 12-year-olds. thank you for the reminder about what year this took place. I had forgotten. For the most part, it could realistically take place in any year, in my opinion.
What is going on with his music? He hasn't done anything with it the whole play... Well, except at the beginning. And what's going on with his parents? Their relationship seemed... Rocky? Just wondering. Thanks again for sharing! Hugs.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
-
Leann, I'm glad you brought that up about his music and about his parents. Both are critical to understanding the character. And both will be addressed within the next few scenes. You are so kind and generous, as usual.
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Jay,
You have to give Jennie credit. She carried the conversation, but wasn't pushy. She gave Cornelius breathing room, and in the end, he did trade sandwich halves with her. A big step.
I love baloney sandwiches... with Lady Ashburn pickles or ketchup. Not good for you, but kids don't know that. Parents just want to fill the gap.
Jennie offered Cornelius some background... she's from Montana, and her older brother has passed away.
Do you know? Years ago, on Prince Edward Island (and maybe elsewhere), rich kids brought peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to school. The poor kids brought lobster sandwiches. Back in those days, lobsters were used as fertilizer! Imagine! Today, kids aren't allowed to bring peanut butter to school, in any fashion. And lobster? On Friday, a cooked whole lobster was selling at $10.75 per pound at Cape Bald Packers. Later this summer, lobster prices could be over $25 per pound!
Two things to note: first, I thought it was nice of Jennie Jax to apologize to Cornelius for not coming to his aid when the bullies were at him. And second, Cililla is pumped that the picnic is going so well for the young couple. "[CILILLA, unobserved by anyone, dances about behind them jubilantly.]"
Nicely penned, Jay! You have so much talent. I wish I could write like you.
You know what I'd like to see? It may take a while, though. But with Jennie lighting the way, and Cornelius starting to open up a bit... I'd like to see him, performing on the school stage. Have the bullies heard him play the piano? Have other teachers seen him play? He'd need Jennie, and Cililla to get him through it... but I can already hear the applause. He'd probably have to think he was on stage by himself, except for Cililla sitting on the piano lid, feet dangling.
Anyway, keep up the good work!!! It's an amazing story.
Cheers,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
|
Hi Jay,
You have to give Jennie credit. She carried the conversation, but wasn't pushy. She gave Cornelius breathing room, and in the end, he did trade sandwich halves with her. A big step.
I love baloney sandwiches... with Lady Ashburn pickles or ketchup. Not good for you, but kids don't know that. Parents just want to fill the gap.
Jennie offered Cornelius some background... she's from Montana, and her older brother has passed away.
Do you know? Years ago, on Prince Edward Island (and maybe elsewhere), rich kids brought peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to school. The poor kids brought lobster sandwiches. Back in those days, lobsters were used as fertilizer! Imagine! Today, kids aren't allowed to bring peanut butter to school, in any fashion. And lobster? On Friday, a cooked whole lobster was selling at $10.75 per pound at Cape Bald Packers. Later this summer, lobster prices could be over $25 per pound!
Two things to note: first, I thought it was nice of Jennie Jax to apologize to Cornelius for not coming to his aid when the bullies were at him. And second, Cililla is pumped that the picnic is going so well for the young couple. "[CILILLA, unobserved by anyone, dances about behind them jubilantly.]"
Nicely penned, Jay! You have so much talent. I wish I could write like you.
You know what I'd like to see? It may take a while, though. But with Jennie lighting the way, and Cornelius starting to open up a bit... I'd like to see him, performing on the school stage. Have the bullies heard him play the piano? Have other teachers seen him play? He'd need Jennie, and Cililla to get him through it... but I can already hear the applause. He'd probably have to think he was on stage by himself, except for Cililla sitting on the piano lid, feet dangling.
Anyway, keep up the good work!!! It's an amazing story.
Cheers,
Kimbob
Comment Written 20-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
-
You've given me some good ideas, Kimbob. It would be later on, however. Right now I am more interested in the dynamics between Cornelius's parents and Jennie's. Someone else mentioned that I've given Cornie's parents, and their conflicts short shrift ... as I have with his music playing. I agree especially on the last one. Damn! Why couldn't I have made Cornie and Poetic genius. I don't know one musical note form another.
Thanks, as usual, for your sterling review ... especially the little bits of historical facts you toss in. Oh, the six! The Six! THANKS FOR THAT!
Comment from Ulla
Hi jay. I admire your honesty. Years ago we didñ' have a clue about autism. Fortunately, we know so much more about it today. Your script is so very descriptive and tender. I love the interaction between the two of them. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
|
Hi jay. I admire your honesty. Years ago we didñ' have a clue about autism. Fortunately, we know so much more about it today. Your script is so very descriptive and tender. I love the interaction between the two of them. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 20-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
-
Thank you, Ulla. Your kind words mean the world to me. Thank you so much for the six stars. They will blaze on my mantle.