Quiet Lawyer
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Quiet Lawyer Chapter 2"Can a broken heart be mended?
26 total reviews
Comment from Anne Johnston
Thank you for sharing the second chapter of this story. It is moving along well. I always enjoy stories about horses, and will look forward to Ali's first riding lesson.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Thank you for sharing the second chapter of this story. It is moving along well. I always enjoy stories about horses, and will look forward to Ali's first riding lesson.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.
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You are welcome
Comment from Begin Again
A nice easy-going book for the moment...Very comforting and seems like a special place....for now, I suppose. I enjoyed the story and the characters blending together ...oh yeah...and Dolly too!
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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A nice easy-going book for the moment...Very comforting and seems like a special place....for now, I suppose. I enjoyed the story and the characters blending together ...oh yeah...and Dolly too!
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Thank you for the kind review. I haven't heard from you and was starting to worry. I hope you're all right. Praying.
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I am not writing. I've tried but things are just not good, but I hate to pour my troubles everywhere. Thanks for thinking of me and for the prayers.
Comment from judiverse
Cordero is doing a good job of distracting Alexandra. Fun bit about the dog sleeping her. I think she has herself a therapy dog. She is also getting along with the horse Dolly. Having Alan's calls blocked will also give her some peace of mind. I wonder if she was jumpy when she first saw Jim, possibly thinking he was Alan. Very engaging chapter. judi
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Cordero is doing a good job of distracting Alexandra. Fun bit about the dog sleeping her. I think she has herself a therapy dog. She is also getting along with the horse Dolly. Having Alan's calls blocked will also give her some peace of mind. I wonder if she was jumpy when she first saw Jim, possibly thinking he was Alan. Very engaging chapter. judi
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from amahra
This seems another delightful love story where a woman needs to find and trust men again after a former bad relationship. I like the way you've included a beloved pet dog in this story as well; seems to be your romantic signature. One thing I'd like to point out, though: I notice you write a lot of :...She stood or she faced him..." just before dialogue. To avoid sounding like stage instructions, you could break that up once in a while with, "...she said standing," "she said facing him, or "he said rising from his chair, etc.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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This seems another delightful love story where a woman needs to find and trust men again after a former bad relationship. I like the way you've included a beloved pet dog in this story as well; seems to be your romantic signature. One thing I'd like to point out, though: I notice you write a lot of :...She stood or she faced him..." just before dialogue. To avoid sounding like stage instructions, you could break that up once in a while with, "...she said standing," "she said facing him, or "he said rising from his chair, etc.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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I will take that under advisement, but I was told by an editor not to use words ending with 'ing' unless absolutely necessary. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Quite a good story and moves along well. Your characters are very good people, but I hope there is some challenge to their falling in love. Tension, besides sexual, makes for a more interesting story.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Quite a good story and moves along well. Your characters are very good people, but I hope there is some challenge to their falling in love. Tension, besides sexual, makes for a more interesting story.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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You're new to my stories. I can promise a lot of tension. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Shirley McLain
I like the story. I haven't read chapter one yet. Is she at a Dude Ranch or something like it. You did a great job as usual, and I'm looking forward to reading more. Have a great evening. Shirley
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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I like the story. I haven't read chapter one yet. Is she at a Dude Ranch or something like it. You did a great job as usual, and I'm looking forward to reading more. Have a great evening. Shirley
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Thank you for the kind review. Nope, just a friend's ranch.
Comment from nomi338
I like these people. You have a knack for creating likable characters, This is a gift for a writer. I hope you won't have to spend as much time and effort in creating villainous characters.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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I like these people. You have a knack for creating likable characters, This is a gift for a writer. I hope you won't have to spend as much time and effort in creating villainous characters.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Thank you for the kind encouragement.
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It has always been and remains so, that it is a very real pleasure to read and review your fine work.
Comment from lancellot
A well written chapter, and a bit longer than I expected. We got a lot of the two lovebirds in what I call another date.
I would suggest thinking about not having your characters fall into familiar blueprints. You don't want them to the same people from your other stories, just with different names.
I would show that Alexandra is beautiful. Not just tell us.
Alex is a female Corporate lawyer from the city, but she doesn't know how to block a caller, a country cowboys has to do for her?
Also, be careful with the damsel in distress from the men in their past. You don't want to them to be victims all the time.
Is Cord any different than Gabe?
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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A well written chapter, and a bit longer than I expected. We got a lot of the two lovebirds in what I call another date.
I would suggest thinking about not having your characters fall into familiar blueprints. You don't want them to the same people from your other stories, just with different names.
I would show that Alexandra is beautiful. Not just tell us.
Alex is a female Corporate lawyer from the city, but she doesn't know how to block a caller, a country cowboys has to do for her?
Also, be careful with the damsel in distress from the men in their past. You don't want to them to be victims all the time.
Is Cord any different than Gabe?
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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I always get a kick out of your review. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Like the story about the city lawyer and her meeting the cowboy and his family of horses. Lately there's a lot about cowboy stories on this website, it must be a trend.
Have you watched the movie seasonal/episodes of Yellowstone yet?
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Like the story about the city lawyer and her meeting the cowboy and his family of horses. Lately there's a lot about cowboy stories on this website, it must be a trend.
Have you watched the movie seasonal/episodes of Yellowstone yet?
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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I have never watched Yellowstone. We don't have cable so I probably never will. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Jay Squires
Barbara, are you messing with my mind? You couldn't have waited until after midnight to post this? (This is gentle chiding, LOL) Then I would have given this the 6 being your first of two posts in the week. Instead, it becomes the last of the week, which means I have no sixes. If your football chapter posts early on for next week, I'll have a six for it. I know you'll tell me not to worry about it ... because that's the way you are, but I will ... because that's the way I am. Both of your books are worthy candidates.
Anyway, onward:
This a good chapter, Barbara. You've created some things here to set the reader's subliminal mind working. Like this: "Pigheaded", "contest", "win" all contribute to an important attribute of Cord. It will play a role in Ali and Cord's relationship.
Here are a few other things I noted as I read:
As Alexandra glared out the back window, [Is there a softer word than "glared" to use here? I realize she's a cat person, but "glared" is a word you reserve for someone you hate, or who angers you. This isn't a criticism, though. Maybe it's exactly as you want her to respond.]
Smiling Alexandra said, "Thank you for the advice." [A comma is really called for after "Smiling". Without it, "smiling" becomes an attribute, like "Smiling Jack, the salesman."]
Pink tinged her cheeks. [This is really a good description. The problem is you've used the same words, but in a slightly altered order, two or three times in this chapter, and at least once in the first chapter. Sometimes, "she blushed" is all you need.
Dang, but this is a good, warm, story. I'm looking forward to reading more of this.
As Alexandra glared out the back window,
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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Barbara, are you messing with my mind? You couldn't have waited until after midnight to post this? (This is gentle chiding, LOL) Then I would have given this the 6 being your first of two posts in the week. Instead, it becomes the last of the week, which means I have no sixes. If your football chapter posts early on for next week, I'll have a six for it. I know you'll tell me not to worry about it ... because that's the way you are, but I will ... because that's the way I am. Both of your books are worthy candidates.
Anyway, onward:
This a good chapter, Barbara. You've created some things here to set the reader's subliminal mind working. Like this:
Here are a few other things I noted as I read:
As Alexandra glared out the back window, [Is there a softer word than "glared" to use here? I realize she's a cat person, but "glared" is a word you reserve for someone you hate, or who angers you. This isn't a criticism, though. Maybe it's exactly as you want her to respond.]
Smiling Alexandra said, "Thank you for the advice." [A comma is really called for after "Smiling". Without it, "smiling" becomes an attribute, like "Smiling Jack, the salesman."]
Pink tinged her cheeks. [This is really a good description. The problem is you've used the same words, but in a slightly altered order, two or three times in this chapter, and at least once in the first chapter. Sometimes, "she blushed" is all you need.
Dang, but this is a good, warm, story. I'm looking forward to reading more of this.
As Alexandra glared out the back window,
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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I changed it to watched out the back window and changed the others to. I need to work on tinged cheeks. Thank you for the kind review and the help. As soon as I finish the other, this one will be posted on Sunday's.