Reviews from

Quiet Lawyer

Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Quiet Lawyer Chapter 7A"
Can a broken heart be mended?

31 total reviews 
Comment from amahra
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Century and Railroad Blues are great names for your story's restaurant. This seemed to have a lot more dialogue, but I think it's great because it just answers questions much more dramatically than a lot of narration.

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2022
    I normally use dialogue to move my story along. I'm not one who normally writes narrative. Thank you for the kind review.
reply by amahra on 06-Mar-2022
Comment from Ben Colder
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I am trying to get into this slowly. Learning who is who and the storyline. I will get there. Might take a while. I am still in Football but I will make it. Best to you on Hallmark. They do not accept Historical Fiction which is why we never clicked.

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2022
    Sometimes Hallmark does. I have watched a few historical fiction on their channel. It's the only channel I watch. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
reply by Ben Colder on 06-Mar-2022
    I thought so too. But I suppose they never like it. Hope you do well
Comment from Sanku
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The story is moving well.Alexandra is very sensitive to the people around her .Her wanting to chose a dress appropriate to the place proves that..it was amusing that Cord didnt tell her about the time ...Good going.

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2022
    Thank you for the kind review. I think Cord's pretty normal. I haven't been told exactly what time before. LOL
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I like and have read this chapter telling the expectations of Cord and Ali for lawful abidance; this expression is realistic progresses through realistic order of taletelling, realistic and clear dialogues; well said, well done; post more. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR (D R)

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2022
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is one of those stories that takes me back to a once highly publicized book called something like: Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars. Their trains of thought definitely work in different ways. LOL. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2022
    Males and females do not think at all alike. Being a mother of four boys, I'm sure of it. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Your story is going well, and I think Cord may need help defending Ali. He seems very impressed with her appearance. Pat is someone who doesn't fit into the equation of Cord and Ali. I suspect you have him planned as the anti-hero.

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2022
    Pat have a very important role in this story. LOL It will review itself in about 5 weeks, if I counted right. He does cause mischief in about 4 weeks.
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from judiverse
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Interesting developments in this chapter. There is the problem of the bull rustlers. The bulls must be pedigreed, very valuable animals. If they can catch the thieves on camera, that will take care of that situation. When Pat showed up at the diner, I thought he was presuming quite a lot. Good thing he disappeared when he found out Alex was with Rosa. Sounds like a guy, not telling Alex what time their reservations are for. Clothing styles are probably different in Texas, so it was a good choice to look for something that would "blend in." Great work. judi

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2022
    Thank you for the kind review.
reply by judiverse on 06-Mar-2022
    You're very welcome. judi
Comment from Jay Squires
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A great chapter, two soon posted for a six, though. I do have one comment.

Please take this in the manner I intend it when I suggest that you find another way of Ali expressing her embarrassment than having her cheeks tinge pink. It happens in just about every chapter. I know I must do the same. Sometimes it takes another set of eyes. Everything else seems so fresh and new that the above phrase grates in comparison.

It's a date. You can deny it all you want, but you're sweet on her." [Somehow this slipped a line. You need to bring it up to the end of the previous sentence.]

Again, a very enjoyable read, Barbara.

Jay






 Comment Written 05-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2022
    I will recheck both of those areas. Thank you.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

"Before taking dishes to the kitchen, Rosa topped off both cups." = nice anchoring of the scene!


Barbara, your dialogue is so natural! I love it! I can easily picture these characters.

Oops = "I wanted (to)..." not the other 'too' (You were 'in the zone' -- it happens to me too. *smile*) Excellent, as usual!!!!!!

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2022
    I will fix that. My fingers often type by themselves. LOL
reply by Dawn Munro on 08-Mar-2022
    LOL -- mine too.
Comment from Ulla
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You're right, Barbara, 5000words or more would have been a little long. I'm glad you've decided to break it up. Yes, I do believe Cordero is sweet on her. Isn't that just the sweetest thing? I really like this story. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 05-Mar-2022
    Thank you for the kind review.