The Visit
Two young children visit their mother37 total reviews
Comment from Bridge
A very heart touching story. The twist at the end is heart wrenching more so for me, because am a mum to a 13yr old son. All the best to you in the contest.
With regards
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2022
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A very heart touching story. The twist at the end is heart wrenching more so for me, because am a mum to a 13yr old son. All the best to you in the contest.
With regards
Comment Written 28-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2022
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Thank You!
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
A touching story about two children walking toward the maple tree where their mother lies. I bet the late mother felt the children looking down at her. She is their angel.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2022
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A touching story about two children walking toward the maple tree where their mother lies. I bet the late mother felt the children looking down at her. She is their angel.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2022
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Thank You!
Comment from Terry Broxson
This contest entry is posted as fiction, but there is a worldly experience to knowing that it can happen every day in a very nonfiction world. An excellent entry, good luck. Excellent work. Terry.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2022
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This contest entry is posted as fiction, but there is a worldly experience to knowing that it can happen every day in a very nonfiction world. An excellent entry, good luck. Excellent work. Terry.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2022
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Thank You!
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PS. you will get my vote!
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
What a sweet story, two children visiting their mother's grave. Perhaps for a birthday, as it's been a year since they were there. I like the dialogue of the children and the description of a lovely site that mommy would like.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2022
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What a sweet story, two children visiting their mother's grave. Perhaps for a birthday, as it's been a year since they were there. I like the dialogue of the children and the description of a lovely site that mommy would like.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2022
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Thank You!
Comment from Cecilia R
Your poem about the visit is very touching. You did a nice job of leading the reader without revealing the plot. Your children are believable, and the description of the setting adds to the story. Good job.
Cecilia
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2022
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Your poem about the visit is very touching. You did a nice job of leading the reader without revealing the plot. Your children are believable, and the description of the setting adds to the story. Good job.
Cecilia
Comment Written 28-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2022
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Thank you!!
Comment from BethShelby
This is a nice story but sad. It is bad when children lose one of their parents. You have told this flash well in a few words and the story is complete and easy to follow. Good luck with the contest committee.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2022
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This is a nice story but sad. It is bad when children lose one of their parents. You have told this flash well in a few words and the story is complete and easy to follow. Good luck with the contest committee.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2022
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Thank you!
Comment from Shirley McLain
This paints a sad picture of two children who have lost their mother. You did an excellent job. I didn't see any errors. Good luck in the contest and have a great day. Shirley
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2022
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This paints a sad picture of two children who have lost their mother. You did an excellent job. I didn't see any errors. Good luck in the contest and have a great day. Shirley
Comment Written 28-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2022
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Thank you!
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Friend,
You have BEAUTIFULLY depicted the two innocent children's visit to their mother who is now resting in the best Grave under a Maple Tree.
It's just like lovely and Live description of Leah and Logan's visit to their mother!
The story has Lucid as well as PERFECTLY matching the theme wording, and CAPTIVATING flow throughout from the beginning to the end - the End as the MARVELOUS Climax!
BEST OF LUCK in the contest.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2022
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Hello Friend,
You have BEAUTIFULLY depicted the two innocent children's visit to their mother who is now resting in the best Grave under a Maple Tree.
It's just like lovely and Live description of Leah and Logan's visit to their mother!
The story has Lucid as well as PERFECTLY matching the theme wording, and CAPTIVATING flow throughout from the beginning to the end - the End as the MARVELOUS Climax!
BEST OF LUCK in the contest.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2022
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Thank You!!
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Most Welcome!
With best wishes,
~ RP
Comment from Wendy G
That's a sad story. But you have written it well, saying neither too much nor too little, allowing the reader to wonder about the circumstances and background to this event. Best wishes for your entry in the contest.
Wendy
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2022
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That's a sad story. But you have written it well, saying neither too much nor too little, allowing the reader to wonder about the circumstances and background to this event. Best wishes for your entry in the contest.
Wendy
Comment Written 28-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2022
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Thank You!
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was a very sad one, but it happens. You've written a beautiful 100 word story, which said it all and needed nothing else to explain it. Very well done, and good luck in the contest! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2022
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That was a very sad one, but it happens. You've written a beautiful 100 word story, which said it all and needed nothing else to explain it. Very well done, and good luck in the contest! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 28-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2022
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Thank You!!