Quiet Lawyer
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "Quiet Lawyer Chapter 13A"Can a broken heart be mended?
28 total reviews
Comment from estory
You really set up this tense, suspenseful scene at the end pretty well, in all the small talk around the kitchen table we didn't see this coming at all. It just bursts in around the corner, much as these moments happen in real life. You have a real gift in using this small talk to frame out relationships between characters and display the hidden emotions going on underneath everything. estory
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2022
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You really set up this tense, suspenseful scene at the end pretty well, in all the small talk around the kitchen table we didn't see this coming at all. It just bursts in around the corner, much as these moments happen in real life. You have a real gift in using this small talk to frame out relationships between characters and display the hidden emotions going on underneath everything. estory
Comment Written 20-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Good writing. Good plot development.
Ice creams not on it. - cream's - possessive apostrophe
"Don't scream and come with me," he whispered. - I'm not sure 'whispered' conveys the tension that you want.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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Good writing. Good plot development.
Ice creams not on it. - cream's - possessive apostrophe
"Don't scream and come with me," he whispered. - I'm not sure 'whispered' conveys the tension that you want.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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Thank you for the catches. I have made the corrections. I appreciate the help.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
That really ramps up the tension! Everyone at the ranch seems happy with each other, but Alex has overlooked what damage the lawsuit could do to Pat, even if he is the bank's owner. Pat also seems like a vindictive kind of guy.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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That really ramps up the tension! Everyone at the ranch seems happy with each other, but Alex has overlooked what damage the lawsuit could do to Pat, even if he is the bank's owner. Pat also seems like a vindictive kind of guy.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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Pat is vindictive. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from tfawcus
You have a great facility for weaving intrigue, romance and relationships around the everyday events of life and sharing food and drink, Barbara. The easy banter makes your characters most relatable.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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You have a great facility for weaving intrigue, romance and relationships around the everyday events of life and sharing food and drink, Barbara. The easy banter makes your characters most relatable.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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Thank you for the encouraging reveiw.
Comment from lancellot
This is very well written and in perfect keeping with the scripted development of the story. I didn't see any technical errors, nor was there anything that stood out as odd or unexpected. I would only caution you about telegraphing how things are going to go. You did that before when she borrowed the SUV.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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This is very well written and in perfect keeping with the scripted development of the story. I didn't see any technical errors, nor was there anything that stood out as odd or unexpected. I would only caution you about telegraphing how things are going to go. You did that before when she borrowed the SUV.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sankey
Good chapter. I felt quite sure, maybe from the picture, something was gonna happen. You have us hanging as you usually do. Good writing practise again. No spags.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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Good chapter. I felt quite sure, maybe from the picture, something was gonna happen. You have us hanging as you usually do. Good writing practise again. No spags.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Anne Johnston
First part of this chapter is pretty quiet, and then you leave us in suspense at the last. I am used to reading a book in one or two days, so this is different waiting each week for the next instalment. But I will be patient.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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First part of this chapter is pretty quiet, and then you leave us in suspense at the last. I am used to reading a book in one or two days, so this is different waiting each week for the next instalment. But I will be patient.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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I hate that on FS we have to wait, but it's what we do. Thank you for the kind review.
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You are welcome
Comment from amahra
He noticed Alexandra's eyes twinkling as she stared at his chest. Buttoning his shirt, he winked. "I'm glad you approve." [That was sexy and cute.]
OMGoodness, Alexandra, was kidnapped? What a great ending.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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He noticed Alexandra's eyes twinkling as she stared at his chest. Buttoning his shirt, he winked. "I'm glad you approve." [That was sexy and cute.]
OMGoodness, Alexandra, was kidnapped? What a great ending.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Thank you for the kind review and we'll wait and see what happens next.
Comment from Judy Lawless
You're creating a good balance of pleasant, romantic scenes, and confidence it will be a good day, then leaving us with Ali in trouble again! Well done, Barbara.
Just a couple little suggestions:
"How much trouble could I possibly get in(into)?"
"I think I'll see if I can finish the paperwork and file(,) it with the court while in town." - no comma needed here. :)
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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You're creating a good balance of pleasant, romantic scenes, and confidence it will be a good day, then leaving us with Ali in trouble again! Well done, Barbara.
Just a couple little suggestions:
"How much trouble could I possibly get in(into)?"
"I think I'll see if I can finish the paperwork and file(,) it with the court while in town." - no comma needed here. :)
Comment Written 19-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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I appreciate the help and have make the corrections. Thank you.
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You're quite welcome, Barbara.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Well, you had me thinking this week's post was going to be just a sedate breakfast conversation to set things up for next week. But wow, was I wrong. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Well, you had me thinking this week's post was going to be just a sedate breakfast conversation to set things up for next week. But wow, was I wrong. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.