Quiet Lawyer
Viewing comments for Chapter 38 "Quiet Lawyer Chapter 19 B"Can a broken heart be mended?
26 total reviews
Comment from Douglas Goff
New York is such a great place ... to visit. I think that this work is grammatically sound.
Seemed a bit long to me, but the dialogue is exactly how couples talk to each other so I think that you are spot on.
Keep up the good work!
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2022
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New York is such a great place ... to visit. I think that this work is grammatically sound.
Seemed a bit long to me, but the dialogue is exactly how couples talk to each other so I think that you are spot on.
Keep up the good work!
Comment Written 26-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2022
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from lyenochka
What a fun date for Cordero and Alexandra! It's great that they let their Moms force a date and more time together. You included some good tourist details and introduced me to the idea of the escape room.
Suggest word order change from:
Chuckling Cordero said,
To:
Cordero said, chuckling
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2022
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What a fun date for Cordero and Alexandra! It's great that they let their Moms force a date and more time together. You included some good tourist details and introduced me to the idea of the escape room.
Suggest word order change from:
Chuckling Cordero said,
To:
Cordero said, chuckling
Comment Written 25-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2022
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I put chuckling first so I wouldn't start everything with Cordero or he. I hope that helps. I appreciate the review.
Comment from lancellot
Well, to not be called out this week, again. I will follow the typical FanStory reviewing lines. Your writing was great. The relationship is sweet and honest, and moves at the loving gentle pace romance should.
Ali and Cord are lovely together. Virtual six all the way.
Just kidding. I don't care about that.
This chapter was another date chapter. Still nothing important happened. The ending, seemed forced. I get why, and knew you'd do something to add drama or problems. It had to be introduced. (like cancer in the last story) But this... no. I mean, Cord knew she was richer than him the entire novel. He flew to NYC in her family's private Jet (without a word), They dressed and fed him, and did it (without a word). To expect awkward silence after she goes to pay the check, or for Cord to make such a statement, after everything, including her flashing her privilege card, is out of place, and contradictory to what we been shown.
I get it. You want to show that the dating and (getting to know each other) is needed, to say their marriage isn't a done deal. That the romance is still building. But, IMO, you've already crossed that bridge, 36 days or not. Going back now is....
Again, it doesn't matter to the FS crowd. They'll praise and give you a six for writing, Mary had a little lamb (as long as they get there's in return).
But there are issues here, if publishing is your goal. Just things to consider.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2022
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Well, to not be called out this week, again. I will follow the typical FanStory reviewing lines. Your writing was great. The relationship is sweet and honest, and moves at the loving gentle pace romance should.
Ali and Cord are lovely together. Virtual six all the way.
Just kidding. I don't care about that.
This chapter was another date chapter. Still nothing important happened. The ending, seemed forced. I get why, and knew you'd do something to add drama or problems. It had to be introduced. (like cancer in the last story) But this... no. I mean, Cord knew she was richer than him the entire novel. He flew to NYC in her family's private Jet (without a word), They dressed and fed him, and did it (without a word). To expect awkward silence after she goes to pay the check, or for Cord to make such a statement, after everything, including her flashing her privilege card, is out of place, and contradictory to what we been shown.
I get it. You want to show that the dating and (getting to know each other) is needed, to say their marriage isn't a done deal. That the romance is still building. But, IMO, you've already crossed that bridge, 36 days or not. Going back now is....
Again, it doesn't matter to the FS crowd. They'll praise and give you a six for writing, Mary had a little lamb (as long as they get there's in return).
But there are issues here, if publishing is your goal. Just things to consider.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2022
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Publishing is my goal. I have published previous book and am still getting praise for them. I understand my style of writing isn't for you or for others, but there is a market for it. Not everybody views things the same way. I'm sorry that you don't understand that.
Comment from royowen
A great episode with Alex showing Cordero the main attractions of New York, which the main essentials of tourism in New York, but there are other things, but these are the greatest, picnics in Central Park are good too, even tobogganing in winter too. Beautifully written, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2022
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A great episode with Alex showing Cordero the main attractions of New York, which the main essentials of tourism in New York, but there are other things, but these are the greatest, picnics in Central Park are good too, even tobogganing in winter too. Beautifully written, blessings Roy
Comment Written 25-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.
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Most welcome
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Most welcome
Comment from Sankey
Well done. A real intro to some of New York City's sites. And no ex to mess things up. Looking forward to more of this. No spags and glad Ulla's back on track.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2022
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Well done. A real intro to some of New York City's sites. And no ex to mess things up. Looking forward to more of this. No spags and glad Ulla's back on track.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Jay Squires
A good chapter with some of the highlights of visiting New York were seen. It was a fun, light, chapter.
"I've heard about them but never been one." [... never been (in)? one."]
Don't tell me Cord's macho is showing through when Ale picks up the check for dinner.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2022
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A good chapter with some of the highlights of visiting New York were seen. It was a fun, light, chapter.
"I've heard about them but never been one." [... never been (in)? one."]
Don't tell me Cord's macho is showing through when Ale picks up the check for dinner.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Nice story. Yes, I understand letting characters 'get to know one another', but I didn't actually see that happening in this chapter. Their characters didn't really advance from being out west.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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Nice story. Yes, I understand letting characters 'get to know one another', but I didn't actually see that happening in this chapter. Their characters didn't really advance from being out west.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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Hmmm, I'll look at that. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from nomi338
I like the casual action. A story with all hills and no valleys can be taxing, by the same token, a story with too much time spent in a valley bores you to tears. Your stories have a very evenly balanced mix of highs and lows. very much like life in the real world. Very good.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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I like the casual action. A story with all hills and no valleys can be taxing, by the same token, a story with too much time spent in a valley bores you to tears. Your stories have a very evenly balanced mix of highs and lows. very much like life in the real world. Very good.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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Thank you for the encouragement. I really appreciate it.
Comment from Ulla
Yeah, Ali, I think handled that bill very badly. I can see how she would.have stepped on Cordero's food the wrong way. He was such a sport and gentleman about everything and now this. Loved the chapter. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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Yeah, Ali, I think handled that bill very badly. I can see how she would.have stepped on Cordero's food the wrong way. He was such a sport and gentleman about everything and now this. Loved the chapter. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 25-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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We'll see if it works out. I have a feeling we'll see this issue again. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from amahra
I respect Alexandra's independence, but to offer to pay the check may have put a damper on their romantic evening. Or maybe I'm telling my age? Anyway, it was another good installment and great dialogue.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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I respect Alexandra's independence, but to offer to pay the check may have put a damper on their romantic evening. Or maybe I'm telling my age? Anyway, it was another good installment and great dialogue.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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We'll see if they work it out or night. Thank you for the kind review.