Comment from karenina

Excellent

Brilliant, to write this from the fallen veteran's point of view!

Far too often I hear of fami!ies taking their first trip to the shore...or gathering for a cookout with the neighbors.

You have driven home what Memorial Day is truly about.

Years in my eyes here.

God Bless our fallen heroes!

Karenina

 Comment Written 15-May-2023

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reply by the author on 15-May-2023

Thanks, Karenina. Always good to hear from you.

reply by karenina on 15-May-2023

What a moving write!

Comment from Charles W. Johnson

Exceptional

Wow. Using the narrator as the a fallen soldier speaking, very literally, from his grave provides such a unique and interesting perspective. And the closing two stanzas provide the gut punch. Rhyme and meter were terrific. Really well done. Good luck in the contest.
-Chuck

 Comment Written 15-May-2023

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reply by the author on 15-May-2023

Thanks, Chuck. I was working on this poem and was having trouble with the speaker when that idea came into my head. My muse came to the rescue.

Comment from Regina Elliott

Exceptional

Oh my gosh, this
Memorial Day poem is a
classic. I'm so glad you entered this solemn and
stirring masterpiece. It really
speaks to both my heart
and soul. My very best wishes
for the competition. All the
best to you & yours. ~

 Comment Written 14-May-2023

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reply by the author on 15-May-2023

Thanks, Regina. I'm sure we all can visualize a family member or friend who was a veteran and is lying in a grave.

Comment from Ginda Simpson

Exceptional

Oh, let us not allow this to happen. Your voice from the grave is a powerful one and we need to reflect on what it is you fear. Your verse is written with flawless rhyme, great imagery and the words move along at a steady pace. Excellent!

 Comment Written 14-May-2023

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reply by the author on 15-May-2023

Thanks, Ginda. I have that fear today more than ever.

Comment from jmdg1954

Excellent

Writer...
This is an excellent tribute to honor our service men snd women on Memorial Day! Whether they've served or are currently serving I salute you!

Without you, we don't have our freedom.
Thank you,
John

 Comment Written 14-May-2023

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reply by the author on 15-May-2023

Thanks, John. I did not serve, and that is why I write quite a few of these type of poems. It helps ease my guilty conscience.

reply by jmdg1954 on 15-May-2023

I have the same guilt as I did not serve. The draft changed status and I went off to college in 1972.
John

Comment from Ben Colder

Excellent

It could happen if Red China and we tangle. The leadership we have now, it will probably happen. The death of our nation is coming now across the southern border while America sleeps. The trojan Horse. Good post. Best wishes.

 Comment Written 14-May-2023

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reply by the author on 14-May-2023

Thanks, Ben. You are so right. I keep thinking that I'm dreaming, and I will wake up from this nightmare.

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

We honour those who have died for our country on Memorial day as we must never forget those battles that we have fought in life and those who died for freedom, a fine tribute here with good end rhymes, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 14-May-2023

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reply by the author on 14-May-2023

Thanks, Christine. A very special day of the year. Is it a holiday in England?

reply by Dolly'sPoems on 14-May-2023

It is always one long holiday when I am in England x x x

Comment from Ricky1024

Excellent

For anybody that has any kind of military background
Whether they served or their family.
Memorial Day is a very important day of the year.
It is known as a day of remembrance for all of those who have passed...
Yes, and all that they have given.
Given, so that our lives can continue to last.
This was well written Rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
Thanks for sharing this and good luck with your contest entry.
Doctor Ricky

 Comment Written 14-May-2023

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reply by the author on 14-May-2023

Thanks, Doc. Since I did not serve, this day tweaks my conscience. I try to write a few poems each year about those who did serve.

Comment from Aaron Milavec

Excellent

Solid thoughts, Brother.

Your most significant line = I wonder if the freedom won
Someday will all become undone,

How can one honor those who died while dishonoring those who needlessly put us in harm's way by feeding us lies. Like JFK's and Nixon's war in Vietnam, Reagan's war against the Sandanistas, and Bush's war of "shock and awe" in Iraq.

 Comment Written 13-May-2023

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reply by the author on 14-May-2023

Thanks for the review, Aaron. We just have to keep sticking our nose into other countries' business.

Comment from lancellot

Excellent

This is well crafted. It has a deep, and moving tone. And the words are befitting of a world that we wish we had. We wish those who give their all, did so for the reasons, and only for the right reasons.

For freedom where it was denied.

It rhymes but that wasn't or isn't always true.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 13-May-2023

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reply by the author on 14-May-2023

Thanks for the review, Lance. You are right about that line.