Guided by Faith
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Faith Chapter 10 B"Can faith guide our path?
33 total reviews
Comment from Jay Squires
That was a good way to get on a first-name basis. I have a couple of questions. Nothing major.
"Because Emma's involved." [Shouldn't this end in a question mark?"]
When she didn't answer, he called for officers to remove the prisoners. [Unless I missed it, I don't recall reading that the prisoners were ever removed. If not, I would mention it. I realize thirty minutes had elapsed before Keith and Seth discussed Emma's lodging that night, but as far as I know from the text, they're still waiting for the officers to get the prisoners, and I'm sure they wouldn't be talking so loosely with the prisoners there.]
As I say, those are minor. You developed Emma's mental state beautifully with her crying in Ace's fur. And then you handled the after-effects of her PTSD while lying in bed very adroitly.
Very well done chapter, Barbara!
Jay
reply by the author on 30-May-2023
  |
That was a good way to get on a first-name basis. I have a couple of questions. Nothing major.
"Because Emma's involved." [Shouldn't this end in a question mark?"]
When she didn't answer, he called for officers to remove the prisoners. [Unless I missed it, I don't recall reading that the prisoners were ever removed. If not, I would mention it. I realize thirty minutes had elapsed before Keith and Seth discussed Emma's lodging that night, but as far as I know from the text, they're still waiting for the officers to get the prisoners, and I'm sure they wouldn't be talking so loosely with the prisoners there.]
As I say, those are minor. You developed Emma's mental state beautifully with her crying in Ace's fur. And then you handled the after-effects of her PTSD while lying in bed very adroitly.
Very well done chapter, Barbara!
Jay
Comment Written 29-May-2023
reply by the author on 30-May-2023
-
I will mention the prisoners left. I know they did and figured everybody else did too, but I shouldn't take that for granted. You're the only person who questioned it, but that's enough. Thank you for the help.
-
Yes, I was afraid I was making too much of it, but I have to go with whatever image the writer leaves in the "theater" of my mind as I read. I try to respond as an audience member would in the theater when something is -- or is not -- on the stage. Jay
-
I fixed it, so it reflects the prisoners leaving.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
The sentence that begins, "Yes. At the door, she turned and stared at the area . . ." (remove "her")
The case is definitely getting to Seth, he just doesn't realize it and the reason for it yet.
What a sweet gesture - making her feel safe without intruding on her independence. He's slowly winning her heart, but she already has his.
Looking forward to next week's chapter.
Pam
reply by the author on 30-May-2023
 |
The sentence that begins, "Yes. At the door, she turned and stared at the area . . ." (remove "her")
The case is definitely getting to Seth, he just doesn't realize it and the reason for it yet.
What a sweet gesture - making her feel safe without intruding on her independence. He's slowly winning her heart, but she already has his.
Looking forward to next week's chapter.
Pam
Comment Written 29-May-2023
reply by the author on 30-May-2023
-
I rewrote that sentence yesterday and still didn't get it right. Thank you for the catch. 'her' is removed. I appreciate the help. Thank you.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Wow what an excellent chapter. It was a scary scene, poor Emma. Thank God Seth came to her rescue. Keeping the phones connected so she felt protected was really sweet. I love this book, great story.
reply by the author on 29-May-2023
|
Wow what an excellent chapter. It was a scary scene, poor Emma. Thank God Seth came to her rescue. Keeping the phones connected so she felt protected was really sweet. I love this book, great story.
Comment Written 29-May-2023
reply by the author on 29-May-2023
-
Thank you for your support.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara, this was a chapter full of action with a potential violent outcome, which didn't come to anything, fortunately. Now sweet tenderness was also a big part. I'm looking forward to reading on. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 29-May-2023
|
Hi Barbara, this was a chapter full of action with a potential violent outcome, which didn't come to anything, fortunately. Now sweet tenderness was also a big part. I'm looking forward to reading on. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 29-May-2023
reply by the author on 29-May-2023
-
Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
What a good idea to leave the phone on. I think those crooks were crazy trying to rob a bakery, it's not as if they would have thousands of dollars in the safe. I used to work in a bakery, more than half a century ago, and going by todays prices, it still wouldn't amount to much in the safe. I'm glad Seth had the sense to realise there was a problem, And yes, he is more concerned because it was Emma!! Well done, you did a great job with this. :)) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 29-May-2023
|
What a good idea to leave the phone on. I think those crooks were crazy trying to rob a bakery, it's not as if they would have thousands of dollars in the safe. I used to work in a bakery, more than half a century ago, and going by todays prices, it still wouldn't amount to much in the safe. I'm glad Seth had the sense to realise there was a problem, And yes, he is more concerned because it was Emma!! Well done, you did a great job with this. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 29-May-2023
reply by the author on 29-May-2023
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Well, this chapter is full of action right down to the cuddling and doesn't leave bored for a minute. As always, the writing is crisp and believable. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 29-May-2023
|
Well, this chapter is full of action right down to the cuddling and doesn't leave bored for a minute. As always, the writing is crisp and believable. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 29-May-2023
reply by the author on 29-May-2023
-
Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Wendy G
Well, that was dramatic. Just as well Seth noticed her car still there and knew something was wrong. Are these guys anything to do with the car that keeps hanging around, maybe sent to unnerve her?
Wendy
Suggestion: "band aide": this may be a cultural difference but we would say "bandaid"
reply by the author on 29-May-2023
|
Well, that was dramatic. Just as well Seth noticed her car still there and knew something was wrong. Are these guys anything to do with the car that keeps hanging around, maybe sent to unnerve her?
Wendy
Suggestion: "band aide": this may be a cultural difference but we would say "bandaid"
Comment Written 28-May-2023
reply by the author on 29-May-2023
-
I thought it was bandaid, too and actually googled it. I'll hyphen it. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from lyenochka
Great job with this dramatic chapter! I was a little confused how many people were in the bakery I guess because you named one of he robbers but not the other. I guess this is intentional because the identity will be revealed later, and he probably has a connection to Emma somehow.
What I liked is how you showed the development of Emma's growing relationship to Seth. She called him by name and called him when she needed a sense of security. She chose to go with him instead of her dad.
reply by the author on 29-May-2023
|
Great job with this dramatic chapter! I was a little confused how many people were in the bakery I guess because you named one of he robbers but not the other. I guess this is intentional because the identity will be revealed later, and he probably has a connection to Emma somehow.
What I liked is how you showed the development of Emma's growing relationship to Seth. She called him by name and called him when she needed a sense of security. She chose to go with him instead of her dad.
Comment Written 28-May-2023
reply by the author on 29-May-2023
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Douglas Goff
Ohhhh . . . action packed and very good.
The plot has thickened. I am enjoying the journey.
I couldn't find a mistake, which makes me sad as I couldn't assist you.
D
reply by the author on 29-May-2023
|
Ohhhh . . . action packed and very good.
The plot has thickened. I am enjoying the journey.
I couldn't find a mistake, which makes me sad as I couldn't assist you.
D
Comment Written 28-May-2023
reply by the author on 29-May-2023
-
"action packed and very good." Coming from the king of writing action made me smile and yell 'Yes!' It even woke up my husband. He should've been up anyway. LOL Thank you.
Comment from Jim Wile
Well, it took a trying circumstance for Emma to start calling Seth by his first name, but looks like this will drive them closer together, especially his answering her phone call in the wee hours. She can't help but be impressed by that. Exciting chapter.
Just a couple of things: I don't believe the character named Bart had ever been mentioned before in a previous chapter, yet you used his name as if he had. I know you wanted to call him something because the name is used several more times to refer to him, but without some form of introduction, even "The knife-wielding man, whose name was Bart," would save the reader from thinking "Who is Bart?" and looking back to try to find the name in a previous chapter.
Also, in the following paragraphs:
These two are amateurs. Why'd it get to you?" He paused a moment. "Because Emma's involved."
Seth walked away.
it seems like "He paused a moment. 'Because Emma's involved.'" should go with "Seth walked away," not the current one because this one began with Carl speaking.
The last point is the dialog in which you have Emma saying, "I'm trying." in reference to eating the sandwich Seth gave her. I think it should have been, "I'll try it" to which it would be unnecessary for Seth to then say something other than, "I noticed." Jim
reply by the author on 29-May-2023
|
Well, it took a trying circumstance for Emma to start calling Seth by his first name, but looks like this will drive them closer together, especially his answering her phone call in the wee hours. She can't help but be impressed by that. Exciting chapter.
Just a couple of things: I don't believe the character named Bart had ever been mentioned before in a previous chapter, yet you used his name as if he had. I know you wanted to call him something because the name is used several more times to refer to him, but without some form of introduction, even "The knife-wielding man, whose name was Bart," would save the reader from thinking "Who is Bart?" and looking back to try to find the name in a previous chapter.
Also, in the following paragraphs:
These two are amateurs. Why'd it get to you?" He paused a moment. "Because Emma's involved."
Seth walked away.
it seems like "He paused a moment. 'Because Emma's involved.'" should go with "Seth walked away," not the current one because this one began with Carl speaking.
The last point is the dialog in which you have Emma saying, "I'm trying." in reference to eating the sandwich Seth gave her. I think it should have been, "I'll try it" to which it would be unnecessary for Seth to then say something other than, "I noticed." Jim
Comment Written 28-May-2023
reply by the author on 29-May-2023
-
Carl is the one who said, "Because Emma's involved." The reason he paused, is he just realized it. Seth walked away because he didn't want to admit it. I wrote Bart's name out. I hope I didn't make it worse. Thank you for the help. I appreciate it.