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Guided by Faith

Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Faith Chapter 13 A"
Can faith guide our path?

34 total reviews 
Comment from estory
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You introduce the mayor here, who seems to be a practical, fair minded person who arbitrates this in favor of Emma's idea. I liked the dialogue throughout in this chapter. You have a real knack for bringing the various personalities and sense of humor of characters out through dialogue, and those great little stage directions like including the grins and heads tilted to the side. It spices up and colors up the flow of the story. estory

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 26-Jun-2023
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from jmdg1954
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Excellent chapter and meeting with the Mayor. As police chief, Seth shouldn't have to be there which would've shut Peggy up. It's a delegated responsibility. In my town, the chief of police isn't at these situations, he controls them.

Why is the Mayor so hung up with the Seth and Peggy situation? It's a guy/girl thing that has to be resolved and not by the mayor. Did I miss something?

John

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 26-Jun-2023
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Pam (respa)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I love that painting. This is a good chapter that shows the viewpoints of those involved with Emma's proposal for a children's reading program. Being so young, I'm sure facing some of people in charge of the town, or who think they are in charge, can be intimidating. But she outlines her plan and does a good job.

I like the direct nature of the Mayor's dismissal of Miss Barton. It will be interesting to see how Seth can keep her from telling lies about having a relationship. I can see Emma learning a lot from all of these experiences that will help make her more confident in herself.

One small thing in this: Leslie, a waitress walked by, *Technically, a waitress would be set off with commas, but it makes the statement awkward. Unless the name is important, I would leave it out unless there is something significant about her being there. If so, I would add that.

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 26-Jun-2023
    I see what you mean. Often reviewers want me to name people. I'll omit it. Thank you for the help.
reply by Pam (respa) on 26-Jun-2023
    You are very welcome, and I think that was a good choice.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Barbara,

I read your author's notes. I think you should post your chapters as you think fit. Sometimes when you break a chapter up, you take the reader out of the flow. I would be happy to read an entire chapter if that's what you need to post. You pay a lot of member dollars to your readers, I think they should be made to earn them.

I found this chapter satisfying because the mayor stuck it to Peggy, and we can see that Seth is learning the ways of women:-) That he's willing to deal with those "ways" tells us how interested he truly is in Emma.

A few corrections:

The line that begins "Grinning, Carl said . . . (add when IT comes to waiting)

Next line - "Leslie, a waitress, walked by" (break up a waitress with a comma)

Seth's eyes widened - add the apostrophe s

Standing, Seth said . . . add the comma

Sir, I plan to. Change to from too.

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 26-Jun-2023
    Thank you for the catches. No matter how many times I edit, I still mess up. I appreciate the help.
Comment from Teri7
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I really love this six star chapter you have penned my friend. What great dialogue and great descriptive words with lovely imagery! This is starting to sound better for Seth and maybe Emma. Great work my friend. love and blessings, Teri

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 26-Jun-2023
    Thank you for the kind review.
reply by Teri7 on 26-Jun-2023
    You are so welcome! It is getting exciting to me! love and blessings, Teri
Comment from Sankey
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

A wonderful, challenging to Peggy anyway, chapter. She really is a controlling type. You are doing well with these. When do we find out about the Crown driver? No spags.

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 26-Jun-2023
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

It looks like the reading program will continue. That is good. I not sure wha Seth can do about Peggy She is real problem but has she don't any thing Illigal. Seth doesn't encourage her.

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 26-Jun-2023
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from JSD
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Don't forget that all the suggestions are subjective. In the end it's your work and only you create it and stand by it. This writing is engaging and has good pace. Most notable is the authentic and interesting dialogue. X

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 26-Jun-2023
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from w.j.debi
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I'm so glad the mayor can see what is really happening and works for solutions to benefit the community. The children will get their story hour and get to do artwork, too.
Ms. Barton is upsetting a few people. Looks like Seth has plans on how to handle it.
Love the characters.

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 26-Jun-2023
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Jim Wile
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This was a particularly enjoyable chapter, Barbara. It certainly is hard to say no to someone as good-hearted, kind, respectful, reasonable, and pretty as Emma. She certainly has it all. What a contrast with that miserable Peggy. She seems to be spiteful and perhaps dangerous, and Emma and Seth need to watch out for her. I fear something untoward is coming.

This was very good writing. - Jim

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 26-Jun-2023
    Thank you for the kind review.