Reviews from

Four Horse Island

Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "My Five Companions"
Marooned on an island with 4 horses and a goat

30 total reviews 
Comment from Mary Vigasin
Excellent
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I have not read the earlier posts. However, I found this to capture my interest from beginning to end. I am only knowledgeable about merry-go-round horses, so I found your bits about their behavior and care was interesting.
Very well written.
Mary

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023
    Hi Mary,
    Thank you for the encouraging review. I like the comment about the merry-go-round horses.
    Have a great day.
    Debi
Comment from rspoet
Excellent
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Hello Debi,
It seems like Ava has found the perfect companions in the five horses, and maybe even the goat. The description is excellent, it appears you know a bit about horses, as well as fairies and music. :)
The dialogue or rather, monologue with a few whinnies interspersed, helps to add color to Ava's character.
It's a bit curious that the cargo ramp would be down, but very helpful too.
I enjoyed this chapter.
Sorry I'm out of sixes, but you have five horses and a goat, that adds up to six.
Best wishes.
Robert

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023
    Hi Robert,
    No worries about the sixes. With four horses, a goat and Ava, we have our six.
    Thank you for the comments about the monologue. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter.
    Have a great day.
    Debi
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent
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Excellent story. I'm a horse person, so it wasn't hard for me to get hooked on this writing. I will watch for more of this story so I can see where you are going with it. Nice workl

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023
    Hi prettybluebirds,
    Horses are mavelous creatures. If I did have to be stuck somewhere with only one companion, a horse would be tops.
    Thanks for the kind comments.
    Debi
Comment from Jay Squires
Excellent
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Allow me to start with a suggestion. A better place for the previous chapter summaries would be at the beginning of the story, clearly identified, rather than in the Author Notes. Some readers don't get to the author notes until they've finished the chapter. Your summaries are delightfully terse anyway, and your posts aren't really very long, so I can't imagine why you wouldn't put them at the beginning.

Now, on with the review. I love your writing style, W.J. It's very conversational and personal -- that is, I felt your love for animals and knowledge of horses, but on the personal level. The writer in you didn't obtrude, so I was able to interrelate with Ava, and even with the horses, without you "telling me" what was happening.

A very good chapter, W.J.

Jay

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023
    Hi Jay,
    Thank you for the suggestion. I made changes based on what you pointed out.
    I appreciate the specifics about what you liked about the writing style. It is helpful to know what works as well as what needs improvvement. I appreciate the encouragement.
    Debi
Comment from lancellot
Excellent
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This is a well written chapter. Having Ava continually speak to the horses and the goat, is also a good way of keeping the reader informed, and breaking up what would an all-narration chapter. Smartly done.

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023
    Hi lancellot,
    Thank you for the specifics aobut the dialogue and breaking up the narration. I appreciate the encouragement.
    Debi
Comment from Melodie Michelle
Excellent
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Excellent storyline that held my attention throughout the entire piece and I especially enjoyed the narrative;-)

Thank you for sharing and many blessings to you;-)

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023
    Hi Melodie Michelle,
    Thank you for the kind comments and sharing what you liked. I appreciate the encouragement.
    Debi
reply by Melodie Michelle on 04-Aug-2023
    ;-)
Comment from LJbutterfly
Excellent
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When Ava heard horses on the ship, I was surprised. Fortunately, she knew exactly what to do when she found them. Hopefully, she will be able to get them safely off the ship. The goat? When I was a child, visiting cousins who lived in the country, their goat was mean to me and would come after me every time I came out to play. I'll see how your goat acts. (smile)

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023
    Hi LJbutterfly,
    Thank you for your encouraging remarks. I appreciate the observations about goats. They can be troublesome.
    Have a wonderful day.
    Debi
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
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I'm glad the horses will make it out safely. Thank you for sharing this addition with us. I enjoyed reading and can't wait for more.

Goats were known to be all sorts of trouble, (but they're hilarious to watch!)

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023
    Hi barbarawilkey,
    Thank you for the kind comments. I agree goats can be hilarious to watch--as long as they are in other people's yards. LOL.
    Have a great day.
    Debi
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Excellent
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Wow! She is doing a terrific job thinking everything through calmly and planning every move. The horses are really worried about her abandoning them. She is trying to keep them calm while she figures how to get them on deck and off the ship. Well done Debi. Nancy:)

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 04-Aug-2023
    Hi Nancy,
    Thank you for the analysis. I appreciate the support and your comments about the horses.
    Debi
Comment from jim vecchio
Excellent
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PLEASE SAVE THOSE HORSES! "Stuck" in a wheelchair now, there are two places I'd love to be:(1) at the beach and (2) riding on horseback. I have loved horses since I went out with a girl who owned one at college. Please continue this story, and, if you do, I hope I will have that legendary sixth star!

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 04-Aug-2023
    Hi Jim Vecchio,
    You're a man after my own heart when it comes to the horses. Riding is my favorite thing to do. There will be more to come. Thank you for the wish of a sixth star.
    Have a great day.
    Debi
reply by jim vecchio on 04-Aug-2023
    Unfortunately, being in a wheelchair now, I can't ride horses but I enjoyed rides in the past and even spent my honeymoon at a Dude Ranch (though I did no hosre riding t that time)