Spectre
Viewing comments for Chapter 40 "The Land of Flat "This is book two of a trilogy book 1 "Ghost"
15 total reviews
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
You have such a fine appreciation of nature and your surroundings Lea and all your experiences have not taken away your wonderment of the life around you. I congratulate you on your move to a new home and wish you all the best, you deserve it. Also your story continues as you journey into the unknown with open eyes, I enjoyed your fine chapter Lea, love Dolly x
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You have such a fine appreciation of nature and your surroundings Lea and all your experiences have not taken away your wonderment of the life around you. I congratulate you on your move to a new home and wish you all the best, you deserve it. Also your story continues as you journey into the unknown with open eyes, I enjoyed your fine chapter Lea, love Dolly x
Comment Written 17-Jan-2024
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Great descriptions. I enjoyed reading and can't wait to read what happens next.
My hand waived through the air as we traveled up the freeway. (waved)
Soon there was mountains on our left and mountains on our right. (TRY _ Soon there were mountains on our left and on our right)
Pine trees cedar everywhere (How about - Pine and cedar trees everywhere)
Pine trees cedar everywhere changed to Boreal pine of different species starting line not as packs together as we had previously seen and then that force became patchwork and I could see the copper land between the patches soon the land turn to dust and we were in the hottest part of the province we could have been the only piece of desert land in the country. (One heck of a run-on sentence. Break it up into smaller sentences)
Incredibly hot so hot that even the wide open windows could not cool us with the breeze. (comma after 'hot' and wide-open)
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Great descriptions. I enjoyed reading and can't wait to read what happens next.
My hand waived through the air as we traveled up the freeway. (waved)
Soon there was mountains on our left and mountains on our right. (TRY _ Soon there were mountains on our left and on our right)
Pine trees cedar everywhere (How about - Pine and cedar trees everywhere)
Pine trees cedar everywhere changed to Boreal pine of different species starting line not as packs together as we had previously seen and then that force became patchwork and I could see the copper land between the patches soon the land turn to dust and we were in the hottest part of the province we could have been the only piece of desert land in the country. (One heck of a run-on sentence. Break it up into smaller sentences)
Incredibly hot so hot that even the wide open windows could not cool us with the breeze. (comma after 'hot' and wide-open)
Comment Written 17-Jan-2024
Comment from royowen
Some country views are like this one. The city I live in in Australia is built on flat ground, with streets running North/south or East/West, birth by a hill range, so it is easy to navigate. This is beautifully written Lea, blessings Roy
Typo : my hand (waived) through the air. Waved?
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Some country views are like this one. The city I live in in Australia is built on flat ground, with streets running North/south or East/West, birth by a hill range, so it is easy to navigate. This is beautifully written Lea, blessings Roy
Typo : my hand (waived) through the air. Waved?
Comment Written 17-Jan-2024
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is a stunning description, Lea, and I'm so sorry I have nothing more to give you. Your introduction, however, topped it for me, perhaps because your main story seemed a bit repetitive afterwards. That said, if you ever wanted, you could be snapped up in an instance to write a travel brochure. I will never see this vast magnificent land so thank you for giving me this little virtual tour. I have suggestions: soon there (were) mountains; punctuation about 10th line down para starting: I just sat there...; I've never seen anything like it (no stray 'it'). But congrats on your new home, Lea! It sounds idyllic. Love Debbie x
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This is a stunning description, Lea, and I'm so sorry I have nothing more to give you. Your introduction, however, topped it for me, perhaps because your main story seemed a bit repetitive afterwards. That said, if you ever wanted, you could be snapped up in an instance to write a travel brochure. I will never see this vast magnificent land so thank you for giving me this little virtual tour. I have suggestions: soon there (were) mountains; punctuation about 10th line down para starting: I just sat there...; I've never seen anything like it (no stray 'it'). But congrats on your new home, Lea! It sounds idyllic. Love Debbie x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2024
Comment from prettybluebirds
It's good to read another of your stories. I haven't been on this site too often lately, but when I was, I didn't run across any of your work. I enjoy reading your stories because they are always unique.
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It's good to read another of your stories. I haven't been on this site too often lately, but when I was, I didn't run across any of your work. I enjoy reading your stories because they are always unique.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2024