Would I live?
A soldier lays gravely wounded. He prays to God to live.19 total reviews
Comment from Nicki.B
I love this poem, it's written beautifully and you took us through the story so well. It's wonderful how faith and trust in God is what helped keep this veteran alive. And the happy ending of being able to live gratefully each day to tell the tale of survival. Well done.
Best Wishes
Nicki
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2024
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I love this poem, it's written beautifully and you took us through the story so well. It's wonderful how faith and trust in God is what helped keep this veteran alive. And the happy ending of being able to live gratefully each day to tell the tale of survival. Well done.
Best Wishes
Nicki
Comment Written 17-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2024
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Thank you so much Nicki. Vietnam veterans are close to my heart. I had two brothers that served in Vietnam, plus I worked with many Vietname veterans. They went though hell in Vietnam and hell back here. If you ever looked at my writings you will see several stories about veterans. I wrote those for people to see what they went though. Especially my brother in the 1st Cav.
Comment from moonsunrise
The power of prayer is so vital when one is hopeless in such a horrific, frightening battlefield. The fear and anguish experienced by the soldier along with the visual of his loved one's face filled with worry upon his leaving to go to war.
Reading your poem brought back memories of two series I watched, "The Pacific" and Band of Brothers", both heart wrenching but what love most soldiers felt for their brothers.
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2024
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The power of prayer is so vital when one is hopeless in such a horrific, frightening battlefield. The fear and anguish experienced by the soldier along with the visual of his loved one's face filled with worry upon his leaving to go to war.
Reading your poem brought back memories of two series I watched, "The Pacific" and Band of Brothers", both heart wrenching but what love most soldiers felt for their brothers.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2024
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Prayer has been an important part of my life. Praying has gotten me through some tough times in my life.
I come from a military family. Service to the country was important. I encourage you to read some of my stories. Out of love for my two brothers I have written several stories of their courage and sacrifice. Thank you for the very kind review.
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I will read them. Thank you
Comment from royowen
Yes, as a grandfather myself who delights in his grandchildren it gives great joy that I likewise have survived the years to enjoy both children and grandchildren, beautifully written work my friend, good luck, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2024
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Yes, as a grandfather myself who delights in his grandchildren it gives great joy that I likewise have survived the years to enjoy both children and grandchildren, beautifully written work my friend, good luck, blessings Roy
Comment Written 15-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2024
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One of the benefits of age are grandchildren. My wife is always teasing me about never growing up. I laugh she is right. Grandchildren allow me to act like a kid again. I am glad you enjoyed my writing. It is appreciated.
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They do indeed
Comment from tempeste
Ciao, the closing lines pack a punch.
Just yesterday I read about a man who yelled to the doctor "cut my leg off, I have children"
Yes, when we feel death is near, we remember God and we start praying to HIM.
I'm not sure if God interferes in such things... Wars are man-made and we should all take the brunt.
I don't see God favouring one man over another, we are all His children.
Today the news is just about the wars in the Middle East and Ukraine.
Netanayu was suggesting bombing even Iran's nuclear sites ..this is total madness
PS> nice to see you are back posting!.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2024
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Ciao, the closing lines pack a punch.
Just yesterday I read about a man who yelled to the doctor "cut my leg off, I have children"
Yes, when we feel death is near, we remember God and we start praying to HIM.
I'm not sure if God interferes in such things... Wars are man-made and we should all take the brunt.
I don't see God favouring one man over another, we are all His children.
Today the news is just about the wars in the Middle East and Ukraine.
Netanayu was suggesting bombing even Iran's nuclear sites ..this is total madness
PS> nice to see you are back posting!.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2024
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Thank you. The world is insane. I worry about the future of my grandchildren.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Hi Richard,
This is a stirring poem written from the perspective of a man who suffered one of the most dangerous wounds a war can dish out. It isn't far-fetched, and is so believable. I had a dear friend who was the only survivor of his unit, and he was badly injured. What goes through such a person's head, only they know. You did a great service to those who made it and those that did not.
Take care,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2024
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Hi Richard,
This is a stirring poem written from the perspective of a man who suffered one of the most dangerous wounds a war can dish out. It isn't far-fetched, and is so believable. I had a dear friend who was the only survivor of his unit, and he was badly injured. What goes through such a person's head, only they know. You did a great service to those who made it and those that did not.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment Written 02-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2024
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Thank you for the kind words. I know many of my stories lately seem to revolve around Vietnam. With two brothers and cousins that served in Vietnam. I use my writing to pay honor to them and others like your friend. Part of the reason I do it, is because of the treatment they received when they came home.
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
The feelings and experiences are well done. But the form is uneven and the flow is off. We stumble as we read. Free Form still needs a sense of rhythm. The rhyming has also no stable pattern. It makes us start and stop. The story and feelings are good. The form needs some work. Karen
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reply by the author on 02-Oct-2024
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The feelings and experiences are well done. But the form is uneven and the flow is off. We stumble as we read. Free Form still needs a sense of rhythm. The rhyming has also no stable pattern. It makes us start and stop. The story and feelings are good. The form needs some work. Karen
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2024
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As you can tell this was one of first attempts at a poem. I like trying different forms of writing. I learn from reviews like yours. You can only get better from them. Thank you.
Comment from BethShelby
This is a good poem. I appreciate the sentiment. My husbane was in the Korean War. Thankful he was in Combat Engineers and didn't have to kill anyone and thankfully made it back home.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2024
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This is a good poem. I appreciate the sentiment. My husbane was in the Korean War. Thankful he was in Combat Engineers and didn't have to kill anyone and thankfully made it back home.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2024
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I am happy you liked it. This was my first attempt at writing a real poem. I have a way to go, but I will keep trying.
Thank you for reading my poem. It is appreciated.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
What a powerful and moving poem! You could feel the emotions from your writing. You really capture the intensity of the experience. I liked how you showed the fear of war and the warmth of family at the end - It is beautifully shared. The closing line, "That's our granddaddy," is so heartwarming. It ties the whole piece together. For me it is a reminder of the preciousness of life and family. Keep sharing your incredible work!
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2024
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What a powerful and moving poem! You could feel the emotions from your writing. You really capture the intensity of the experience. I liked how you showed the fear of war and the warmth of family at the end - It is beautifully shared. The closing line, "That's our granddaddy," is so heartwarming. It ties the whole piece together. For me it is a reminder of the preciousness of life and family. Keep sharing your incredible work!
Comment Written 02-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2024
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Michael, thank you for the kind words. This was my first attempt at a real poem. I find writing poetry to be difficult. With that said, I will make occasional attempts at it. Iam glad you enjoyed it. I might give poetry another chance.
Comment from LJbutterfly
This is a poignant poem expressing the thoughts, memories, and prayers of a soldier hoping to survive a bullet wound during war. Your well-chosen words allows the reader to envision the power of faith as the young soldier lives and ultimately becomes a grandfather. This poem is quite inspirational. Best wishes in the contest.
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reply by the author on 03-Oct-2024
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This is a poignant poem expressing the thoughts, memories, and prayers of a soldier hoping to survive a bullet wound during war. Your well-chosen words allows the reader to envision the power of faith as the young soldier lives and ultimately becomes a grandfather. This poem is quite inspirational. Best wishes in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2024
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Thank you for the kind words. This was my attempt at a real poem. I find writing poetry to be difficult. With that said, I will make my occasional attempts at it.