The Empty Chair
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "The Empty Chair - Chap 1"The mysterious disappearance of a childhood friend
15 total reviews
Comment from pome lover
well, I'd say there's a smidge of sibling rivalry going here. And you really left us hanging. Will have to tune in tomorrow, or whenever chapter two arrives. Very good lead in to the story.
By the way, did you mean to say "crackling fire" in the first sentence? However, if you said, a cracking good fire, it would sound veddy British. :)
One thing I didn't quite get, was when Sharice brought out the key, and the detective asked her about it, why she acted all flustered. Seems to me she should have known he'd ask that and had a ready answer.
anticipation!
Katharine
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2024
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well, I'd say there's a smidge of sibling rivalry going here. And you really left us hanging. Will have to tune in tomorrow, or whenever chapter two arrives. Very good lead in to the story.
By the way, did you mean to say "crackling fire" in the first sentence? However, if you said, a cracking good fire, it would sound veddy British. :)
One thing I didn't quite get, was when Sharice brought out the key, and the detective asked her about it, why she acted all flustered. Seems to me she should have known he'd ask that and had a ready answer.
anticipation!
Katharine
Comment Written 14-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2024
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Thanks for the chuckle, Katherine. I like the sound of being veddy British! lol That's where half my ancesters came from so its all good. Sharice was flustered because she had said she barely knew Peyton, but then Fiona said they were childhood friends and here she even had a key to his house. She was caught in lies. She hadn't expected her sister to rat on her. I am thrilled you enjoyed the story. It's another one of those "out of the box" genre for me but I am going to give it a shot. Thanks so much.
smiles and hugs, Carol
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go for it and have fun!
Comment from karenina
So much for taking a break before ushering in Elanor's next novel...
(You can't help yourself!)
A detective? So soon? Around here we'd be lucky to get a patrol car to stop and knock on the door...
I see all kinds of ways for this to go --animosity brews just beneath the surface with the sisters.
Which of them is evil? If either?
One typo, I think:
"Between work and trying to help Fiona out around her, my time is limited for anything else."
(Did you mean around HERE?)
You know I'm in for the duration!
Karenina
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2024
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So much for taking a break before ushering in Elanor's next novel...
(You can't help yourself!)
A detective? So soon? Around here we'd be lucky to get a patrol car to stop and knock on the door...
I see all kinds of ways for this to go --animosity brews just beneath the surface with the sisters.
Which of them is evil? If either?
One typo, I think:
"Between work and trying to help Fiona out around her, my time is limited for anything else."
(Did you mean around HERE?)
You know I'm in for the duration!
Karenina
Comment Written 14-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2024
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fixed the typo and thank you of course. Yes, I was feeling on the down side today (10 years since Wendy passed) so I sat at the computer and busied my head. this is what we got! A little on the dark side but I suppose that was the part of my brain working.... at least I hope that's what it was doing.
Thanks so much for the review and for liking what I am throwing at you. Appreciate the review, comments and stars.
Smiles, Carol
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It's a nice introduction to what I imagine will be a sinister mystery...
(Is Garth coming? LOL
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Sorry, Sweetie! Garth's taking a leave of absence for a couple of weeks. Yes, this one is a dark one.
smiles, Carol
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Heh-heh.
How did I know that?
A gal can dream can't she?
Comment from K.O. Wilson
Wow that is a great first chapter. As well as the beginning of what I suspect will be a very hunting story? Sorry can't blame a reader for guessing, it's a personal failing when I read a excerpt I look for context, but you have me where you want me interested and asking questions, like what happens next?
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2024
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Wow that is a great first chapter. As well as the beginning of what I suspect will be a very hunting story? Sorry can't blame a reader for guessing, it's a personal failing when I read a excerpt I look for context, but you have me where you want me interested and asking questions, like what happens next?
Comment Written 14-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2024
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How awesome! I am very grateful that you stopped by to read this first chapter in my book, And even more thrilled that you enjoyed it and left me the stars. I can't thank you enough and I hope that you continue to follow and enjoy.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from lancellot
Well, this chapter took a sudden and unexpected turn. Fiona's personality switched on a dime, as did aspects of Payton's demise. Not sure a detective would show up after three days of an adult missing work. A plain clothes, at best would do a well-being check. And mentioning Peyton is handsome. Not what a cop would do. But... it seems you are going for female driven fem-fatal, and silicious type of story between twins.
Notes:
Fiona shook her head, denying anything her sister said. "No, no, you have to believe me.
-Slight editing of this line needed.
"Dead serious," Fiona whispered. "Please. Call him."
-Yeah, she clearly has a phone. Why not call herself?
"I noticed the police car outside. Did you call them?"
-Would a detective drive a police car? Doubtful.
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reply by the author on 14-Oct-2024
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Well, this chapter took a sudden and unexpected turn. Fiona's personality switched on a dime, as did aspects of Payton's demise. Not sure a detective would show up after three days of an adult missing work. A plain clothes, at best would do a well-being check. And mentioning Peyton is handsome. Not what a cop would do. But... it seems you are going for female driven fem-fatal, and silicious type of story between twins.
Notes:
Fiona shook her head, denying anything her sister said. "No, no, you have to believe me.
-Slight editing of this line needed.
"Dead serious," Fiona whispered. "Please. Call him."
-Yeah, she clearly has a phone. Why not call herself?
"I noticed the police car outside. Did you call them?"
-Would a detective drive a police car? Doubtful.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2024
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this story is out of my league but I shall try to make corrections thanks to your skills and efforts to point them out. As for Fiona, she likes to pretend she is helpless, that is until she is cornered by her sister. Thanks for taking the tiem to read and review.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
OH boy! Here we go! This looks exciting and a bit of sibling rivalry is always a good time. I am already forming theories and guess I better wait until all the players are introduced lol Anxious for more.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2024
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OH boy! Here we go! This looks exciting and a bit of sibling rivalry is always a good time. I am already forming theories and guess I better wait until all the players are introduced lol Anxious for more.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2024
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This is another one "out of the box" for me. I hope I can do it justice. I see the story in my head but it's not on paper yet. Thanks for being my first review and getting me off to a good start.
Smiles and hugs, Carol