The Parisian Necromancer
A tale of Revolutionary France21 total reviews
Comment from Sallyo
Now that is a spectacularly disturbing piece of work... especially when taken in the context of the prologue. The last section is the icing on a scary cake. Well done! Well imagined, well written and well proofed.
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2024
Now that is a spectacularly disturbing piece of work... especially when taken in the context of the prologue. The last section is the icing on a scary cake. Well done! Well imagined, well written and well proofed.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2024
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Thank you so much for your words. I am very happy you enjoyed the story! And thank you for one of your limited 6-stars! 😊
Comment from Wendy Jungbauer
Well Patrick, you've written yet another great horror short story! It reads like both a historical fiction and dark fantasy with its deranged perspective on the French Revolution and frightening concept of a necromancer who can communicate with the recently deceased and even reanimate them. Your story has strong character development, unique premise, an engaging plot and vivid atmospheric setting that definitely keeps the reader engaged, while enabling them to explore philosophical questions about life, death, and the nature of consciousness. It's a well-written and thought-provoking prose and your use of detailed imagery, descriptive language and sharp dialogue further developed the characters and guided the narrative forward. Overall, I truly enjoyed reading this short story and appreciated the historical reference included at the beginning. It was a quick and easy read for me! LOL Great job!
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2024
Well Patrick, you've written yet another great horror short story! It reads like both a historical fiction and dark fantasy with its deranged perspective on the French Revolution and frightening concept of a necromancer who can communicate with the recently deceased and even reanimate them. Your story has strong character development, unique premise, an engaging plot and vivid atmospheric setting that definitely keeps the reader engaged, while enabling them to explore philosophical questions about life, death, and the nature of consciousness. It's a well-written and thought-provoking prose and your use of detailed imagery, descriptive language and sharp dialogue further developed the characters and guided the narrative forward. Overall, I truly enjoyed reading this short story and appreciated the historical reference included at the beginning. It was a quick and easy read for me! LOL Great job!
Comment Written 12-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2024
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Thank you, Wendy! I'm so happy to be able to share my stories with you finally! And thank you for one of your limited 6-stars!
Comment from Ric Myworld
In all my years on FanStory, I don't think I've ever read a more gripping, Poe like story that, overwhelms the senses, and leaves me drained at the end. Outstanding description and writing, I won't soon forget. Now, I only wish I had a six to reward it properly.
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2024
In all my years on FanStory, I don't think I've ever read a more gripping, Poe like story that, overwhelms the senses, and leaves me drained at the end. Outstanding description and writing, I won't soon forget. Now, I only wish I had a six to reward it properly.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2024
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Thank you so much for this ringing endorsement of the story! It means a lot to me that you enjoyed it so much! 😊
Comment from Tim Margetts
I do like the way you have weaved your story into and around the history of the French Revolution. Plucking enough key figures from the dust of the past to give credence to your story.
The tale was well written and took me into that time.
My only real critique would be to question it as scary.
I loved the story, but it didn't scare me, let alone terrorise me. It enthralled me and captured me.
Tim
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2024
I do like the way you have weaved your story into and around the history of the French Revolution. Plucking enough key figures from the dust of the past to give credence to your story.
The tale was well written and took me into that time.
My only real critique would be to question it as scary.
I loved the story, but it didn't scare me, let alone terrorise me. It enthralled me and captured me.
Tim
Comment Written 12-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2024
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Hi again Tim! I debated with myself if this would be considered worthy of the "Horror Writing Contest." I had at one point thought I would save it for something else. I decided to enter it anyway. The overwhelming response has been that it DOES qualify as horror -- maybe in the vein of Poe more so than Stephen King or Wes Craven. In any event, it's too late now! 😂 Thank you again for looking in on my writing! I shall return the favor soon!
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
I like that you used a passage from Kershaw's book to open this story; it sets the stage well and gives the story credence.
I snickered at the this: No one seemed to notice. Eleonore may have, but I wasn't sure. I hadn't had a chance to ask her yet:-)
Highlights in imagery: a pocket of mumbling scarecrows
the sickly bare breasts and splotched legs I knew were an offer
Her eyeballs pivoted just slightly in their dry sockets; her pupils grew larger in the dim candlelight and focused on my own.
Oh, dear lord! This is the most bizarre interrogation I've ever witnessed! And for your cooperation, your head is given over to the fire until the eyes have melted away. You're a sick puppy, Patrick, lol!
"like a dutiful pig seeking truffles" - The necromancer and the reader are meant to understand that he does the bidding of the Revolution, he is not part of the elite.
And in the end, even the priest does not believe in God.
Well, Patrick, I'm just about speechless. This is so good, and perfect for a horror writing contest. For the greatest horrors are the ones that man are responsible for, and continue to be responsible for.
A perfect piece, in my opinion.
xo
Pam
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2024
I like that you used a passage from Kershaw's book to open this story; it sets the stage well and gives the story credence.
I snickered at the this: No one seemed to notice. Eleonore may have, but I wasn't sure. I hadn't had a chance to ask her yet:-)
Highlights in imagery: a pocket of mumbling scarecrows
the sickly bare breasts and splotched legs I knew were an offer
Her eyeballs pivoted just slightly in their dry sockets; her pupils grew larger in the dim candlelight and focused on my own.
Oh, dear lord! This is the most bizarre interrogation I've ever witnessed! And for your cooperation, your head is given over to the fire until the eyes have melted away. You're a sick puppy, Patrick, lol!
"like a dutiful pig seeking truffles" - The necromancer and the reader are meant to understand that he does the bidding of the Revolution, he is not part of the elite.
And in the end, even the priest does not believe in God.
Well, Patrick, I'm just about speechless. This is so good, and perfect for a horror writing contest. For the greatest horrors are the ones that man are responsible for, and continue to be responsible for.
A perfect piece, in my opinion.
xo
Pam
Comment Written 12-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2024
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Hi Pam! Thank you as always for reading my posts! I am very gratified that you feel so strongly about this story's quality, for I hold you opinion in very high esteem. And yes, I have been known to reveal myself as a "sick puppy" from time to time in my writing. In real life, I'm a goodhearted, caring sweetheart, I promise. 😊
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
WOW!! That was amazing. I've heard the word Necromancer before but i guess I didn't really understand what it was. This section right here....
I stood from my chair and gathered her head from the tripod, holding it in both hands with reverence. I brought it even with mine so that she could look into my eyes. A patch of congealed blood dripped from her neck onto the top of my left shoe. "God shall be merciful. Go to sleep, penitent, and awaken to a second chance at paradise." I pressed my lips to her dry forehead, a farewell kiss. I then walked her head across the room and laid it atop the logs of my blazing hearth fire.
Got an audible UGH from me, you will be pleased to know.
Loved every moment of it!
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2024
WOW!! That was amazing. I've heard the word Necromancer before but i guess I didn't really understand what it was. This section right here....
I stood from my chair and gathered her head from the tripod, holding it in both hands with reverence. I brought it even with mine so that she could look into my eyes. A patch of congealed blood dripped from her neck onto the top of my left shoe. "God shall be merciful. Go to sleep, penitent, and awaken to a second chance at paradise." I pressed my lips to her dry forehead, a farewell kiss. I then walked her head across the room and laid it atop the logs of my blazing hearth fire.
Got an audible UGH from me, you will be pleased to know.
Loved every moment of it!
Comment Written 11-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2024
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That is so awesome that I made my partner in "The Little Workshop of Horrors" groan with disgust! I shall put that notch on my belt, thank you very much! 😁 Thank you for the 6-star!
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Holy cow, what an entry for the Horror Writing Contest. It's an unique horror story... an original and so well written. Do you write books? You should.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2024
Holy cow, what an entry for the Horror Writing Contest. It's an unique horror story... an original and so well written. Do you write books? You should.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2024
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Hi Gypsy! That is awesome that you enjoyed the story! I have a few books I have written, but nothing that makes me any money. Thank you for asking!
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I have two haiku poetry books in Amazon that don't make any money either and a bunch of books in fanstory. You are an excellent writer.
Comment from Cecilia A Heiskary
Patrick,
This is a great horror story. I can't imagine my head being chopped off and still being able to function for awhile. That would be nightmarish at best.
Great story an good luck in your contest.
Cecilia
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2024
Patrick,
This is a great horror story. I can't imagine my head being chopped off and still being able to function for awhile. That would be nightmarish at best.
Great story an good luck in your contest.
Cecilia
Comment Written 11-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2024
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Thank you, Cecilia! I am so happy you enjoyed the story! 😊
Comment from Gayla putnam
This story is so clever and shows imagination, research, and writing skills. I hung on every word, wondering what would come next and what the necromancer would discover. I admit I hoped some of the beheaded would fool him, but he was convincing. It's one of those gruesome horror stories that one can't put down and must keep turning the page. The best part was that I was sorry when it ended. Gayla, Good luck; it's a winner.
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2024
This story is so clever and shows imagination, research, and writing skills. I hung on every word, wondering what would come next and what the necromancer would discover. I admit I hoped some of the beheaded would fool him, but he was convincing. It's one of those gruesome horror stories that one can't put down and must keep turning the page. The best part was that I was sorry when it ended. Gayla, Good luck; it's a winner.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2024
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Hi Gayla! Thank you for this awesome review! I am so happy that you enjoyed it. It is comments like yours that we all want to hear from a reader. 😊
Comment from Begin Again
Horror--regardless of the century--is a masterpiece in your hands, Patrick. I am positive many will be salivating as they read your story and wanting more. You put the reader amidst the field of carnage and drag them through the revolution without flinching at all.
Her eyelids lifted, unmasking a clouded stare through her sapphire-blue irises.
Her wide eyes blinked like window shutters slamming closed in a storm. And you, like a dutiful pig seeking truffles, will root out still more from their severed heads.
These and many more are fascinating descriptions. I have no idea where or how your brain comes up with these thoughts, and it's probably best not to know, but you do a marvelous job of weaving a story.
It deserves a six for your creativity, but I am all out. I did stop to read something far out of my genre and admired what you wrote. I wish you the best of luck (though you hardly need luck) in the contest.
Smiles, Carol
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2024
Horror--regardless of the century--is a masterpiece in your hands, Patrick. I am positive many will be salivating as they read your story and wanting more. You put the reader amidst the field of carnage and drag them through the revolution without flinching at all.
Her eyelids lifted, unmasking a clouded stare through her sapphire-blue irises.
Her wide eyes blinked like window shutters slamming closed in a storm. And you, like a dutiful pig seeking truffles, will root out still more from their severed heads.
These and many more are fascinating descriptions. I have no idea where or how your brain comes up with these thoughts, and it's probably best not to know, but you do a marvelous job of weaving a story.
It deserves a six for your creativity, but I am all out. I did stop to read something far out of my genre and admired what you wrote. I wish you the best of luck (though you hardly need luck) in the contest.
Smiles, Carol
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2024
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Wow, thank you for this awesome review, Carol! It's very gratifying that you enjoyed the story. I was wondering if it was enough to qualify as horror. I am glad that at least you think so. 😊