Precious Gems: An Anthology
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "For You ... If Only"A Rhyming Collection of Treasured Works
24 total reviews
Comment from skye
Beautifully crafted poem with such vibrantly visualized scenes.
Your lines just flow so easily, taking the reader with you on the journey of love.
Very well done.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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Beautifully crafted poem with such vibrantly visualized scenes.
Your lines just flow so easily, taking the reader with you on the journey of love.
Very well done.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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Thank you so very much skye; your kind words are appreciated indeed xoxoxoxoxo
Comment from Domino
Hi, Lovely Chris.
I wish you wouldn't embarass me with all this personal love stuff; I thought it was our secret. LOL! On the other hand,I hope this isn't meant for the llama thingy in your profile pic.
Clever unforced AABB rhyme scheme and very special romantic poetic wording. Well above 'mush' and very enjoyable. Great stuff, Ray xx
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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Hi, Lovely Chris.
I wish you wouldn't embarass me with all this personal love stuff; I thought it was our secret. LOL! On the other hand,I hope this isn't meant for the llama thingy in your profile pic.
Clever unforced AABB rhyme scheme and very special romantic poetic wording. Well above 'mush' and very enjoyable. Great stuff, Ray xx
Comment Written 11-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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Aw Ray, I hoped you'd see this was writ for you ... and only you. If only ... I could sip some more red, but it's day time now, and I am left with a sore head, blurry focus and ... sigh ... my dreams.
My alpaca is jealous mind you. I could see his eye whites today, which is never a good sign ...
Bless ya Guv, for stopping by and your excellent comments, but sshhh ... our womance must wemain a secwet ... xoxoxoxoxo mwah ... *wipes residual dribble off face*
And I apologise for any embawassment.
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Hi, Cwazy Cwis
Wou've got me waughing as wusual.
Sowwy, didn't wealise that ferwy fing was a wowpaca.
Pwease apwowagise.
Luv, Way, xx
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Dear Wascally Wabbit,
Were I to tell my wowpaca you referred to him as a "fuwry fing" his jealousy would be replaced by indignation I believe. So I'll twy to word my apowogy as carefuwwy as pothible.
Ya cwazy Bwit xoxoxoxoxoxo
Yours,
E Fudd
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
This is a first but very good the feeling of love comes through strongly in your words and descriptions I enjoyed this poem although a little sad well done regards Fuller
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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This is a first but very good the feeling of love comes through strongly in your words and descriptions I enjoyed this poem although a little sad well done regards Fuller
Comment Written 11-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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Thank you so much Fuller xoxoxooxoxo
Comment from mmichelle97219
It is an emotional poem. Being laid up must agree with you. (hope you're feeling better). I liked this one very much. Good luck in the voting booth.
Michelle
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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It is an emotional poem. Being laid up must agree with you. (hope you're feeling better). I liked this one very much. Good luck in the voting booth.
Michelle
Comment Written 11-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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Thank you very much, and yes the old back is on the mend, though still niggling. Guess sittin' round does get the juices flowing, eh? Otherwise, one would scratch the walls with boredom... xoxoxox
Comment from rama devi
Nice job, dear sister, Well timed, rhymed and conceived. phrasing is great and presentation with artwork and color scheme works well towards the theme. A whole story!
Best of luck in the contest.
I find no nits or spag.
Warm Regards,
rama dvi
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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Nice job, dear sister, Well timed, rhymed and conceived. phrasing is great and presentation with artwork and color scheme works well towards the theme. A whole story!
Best of luck in the contest.
I find no nits or spag.
Warm Regards,
rama dvi
Comment Written 11-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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Thank you so much dear rama xoxoxox
Comment from The Guardian
Quite lovely for a first attempt. Hate the expression that she feels like dirt under his feet, but that tends to be the nature of unrequited love. One adores while the other fails to notice or fails to reciprocate. Hate that.
Good luck in the contest.
Best
Merle
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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Quite lovely for a first attempt. Hate the expression that she feels like dirt under his feet, but that tends to be the nature of unrequited love. One adores while the other fails to notice or fails to reciprocate. Hate that.
Good luck in the contest.
Best
Merle
Comment Written 11-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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Don't we all? Ah well, for the one doin' the loving, it never hurts to dream ...
Thanks so much for stopping by and for your good luck wishes! xoxoxoxoxo
Comment from jshep
A fantastic take on 'How do I love thee, let me count the ways'. And this might be a first, but should definitely not be a last. Absolutely beautiful in thoughts, descriptions, love without saying it and flow, presentation and I could just go on and on. Too many favoritie lines to point out just one. Boy, wish I had violet eyes. Great job, Chris, and I would imagine it is going to steal the show. Joyce xxoo
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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A fantastic take on 'How do I love thee, let me count the ways'. And this might be a first, but should definitely not be a last. Absolutely beautiful in thoughts, descriptions, love without saying it and flow, presentation and I could just go on and on. Too many favoritie lines to point out just one. Boy, wish I had violet eyes. Great job, Chris, and I would imagine it is going to steal the show. Joyce xxoo
Comment Written 11-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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I've a thing about violet eyes - my daughter has them, depending on her mood, so maybe that's why. Thanks so much Joyce for your kind comments and encouragement as always. Will see how the votes go! xoxoxoxoxo
Comment from Firefly54
A beautiful poem, although I would honestly have rather seen it written without "adore" in it, simply because I see it as a symonyn for love! Good luck!
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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A beautiful poem, although I would honestly have rather seen it written without "adore" in it, simply because I see it as a symonyn for love! Good luck!
Comment Written 11-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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Yeah, this thing about "no love" was bloody frustrating! Still, a challenge is a challenge and who am I to refuse it? Thanks so much Firefly for stopping by and your good luck wishes! xoxoxooxo
Comment from jenelleish
OMG...I soooo love your poem. It's very touching and even if you didn't use the word "love", it can be felt by the readers so strongly from every direction. Great job and great choice of words. Good luck!
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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OMG...I soooo love your poem. It's very touching and even if you didn't use the word "love", it can be felt by the readers so strongly from every direction. Great job and great choice of words. Good luck!
Comment Written 11-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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Thank you my dear jenelleish. Such lovely words (am I allowed to use "lovely"???), and encouragement. Bless you! xoxoxoxo
Comment from snodlander
For a first, this is not too shabby at all. It evokes unrequited love that we've all felt at some point. The rhymes are good and the grammar not strangled to get there.
The meter is good too, a stumbling block to many attempting traditional poetry. My one niggle is line four, verse one. Every other line has the emphasis on the even syllables. This one has it on the odd, and is half a beat short. I would add a word, maybe 'and', to the start to smooth out the rhythm, but I that aside, I think I have competition in this one.
Good job, and good luck
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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For a first, this is not too shabby at all. It evokes unrequited love that we've all felt at some point. The rhymes are good and the grammar not strangled to get there.
The meter is good too, a stumbling block to many attempting traditional poetry. My one niggle is line four, verse one. Every other line has the emphasis on the even syllables. This one has it on the odd, and is half a beat short. I would add a word, maybe 'and', to the start to smooth out the rhythm, but I that aside, I think I have competition in this one.
Good job, and good luck
Comment Written 11-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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Well Snod, I'll look at that meter thing in line 4, verse 1 (and ta for that). If you ever read my work after this, you'll notice my meter goes out just a tad here and there - one of those things I just cain't seem to git! Thanks so much for your comments, and as you said to me, "I have competition" with yours - it's a beauty! Thanks again my friend, for stopping by and for your constructive and encouraging comments. These love poems are pretty challenging for those not used to writin' 'em to say the least ... Good luck to you my friend xoxoxoxo PS: if this review is to make no sense I'm writin' it after 3 red wines and half a white ...