Chronicles of the Wandering Man
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "In Flick'ring Light Bells Toll"An extended story in poem form
22 total reviews
Comment from skye
Dark and dismal, with hope and love shining through the middle, but then the clouds of despair are seen in the distance.
Your gift for this style of poetry is wonderful.
I have enjoyed this wandering man. May he find peace and keep love.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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Dark and dismal, with hope and love shining through the middle, but then the clouds of despair are seen in the distance.
Your gift for this style of poetry is wonderful.
I have enjoyed this wandering man. May he find peace and keep love.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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Thank you, skye :-). I hope he finds peace, too. We shall see what beauty can birth in the wake of horror. I'm so glad you're on board!
Mike
Comment from Kathryn Varuzza
Mike,
I think this is the best one out of the series.
Flows well.
I liked your rhymes.
Moving.
Powerful.
Heartfelt.
Good image and visual presentation.
I like the title.
You did a really nice job with this.
I like every word.
My favorite parts are your first and last stanzas
and the 2nd stanza in part xvi
kathryn
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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Mike,
I think this is the best one out of the series.
Flows well.
I liked your rhymes.
Moving.
Powerful.
Heartfelt.
Good image and visual presentation.
I like the title.
You did a really nice job with this.
I like every word.
My favorite parts are your first and last stanzas
and the 2nd stanza in part xvi
kathryn
Comment Written 16-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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Thank you, Kathryn :-). I was particularly happy with the opening stanza, but it did mean I had trouble writing the next one, hence the protracted development! I'm thrilled you enjoyed it!
Mike
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Mike, I hear you , that happens to me a lot sometimes I have one great stanza and it takes a while to get other stanzas up to that level. And you're welcome.
kathryn
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
This is the first of
read of yours for some
time - and just as before,
it is most impressive...
the content, the flow to
the words, rhythm and rhyme,
all excellent - don't leave
it too long for the next one
please.
Margaret
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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This is the first of
read of yours for some
time - and just as before,
it is most impressive...
the content, the flow to
the words, rhythm and rhyme,
all excellent - don't leave
it too long for the next one
please.
Margaret
Comment Written 16-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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Thank you, Margaret :-). Life's been getting in the way recently; a problem I shall one day solve by turning words into my professional sustenance!
Congratulations on the recognition award; it's thoroughly deserved.
Mike
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Thank you for your good wishes, Mike. Margaret.
Comment from Mary Faucheux
Wonderfully written. My mind's eyes sees it play out before me. I especially loved these:
Mary
The acres passed beneath our feet
and acorns turned to trees.
The years drove sun to shyly peep
through black sky's storm-swept seas.
But beauty cannot have her way
while evil draws a breath,
and dirty Fate came out to play
just as we cheated death.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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Wonderfully written. My mind's eyes sees it play out before me. I especially loved these:
Mary
The acres passed beneath our feet
and acorns turned to trees.
The years drove sun to shyly peep
through black sky's storm-swept seas.
But beauty cannot have her way
while evil draws a breath,
and dirty Fate came out to play
just as we cheated death.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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Thank you, Mary; you are spoiling me! I'm so glad you enjoyed this new chapter. It's taken too long to write and I was worried the quality had suffered. Your fantastic review is a huge boost to my confidence :-)
Mike
Comment from sgalletti
LOVE the new chapter Mike! Glad you're back on site and hope all is well...I'm catching up myself and thanks for the reviews. I've read them just haven't replied yet...This is a smart, well written tale. There are MANY verses that were favorites, but this one stood out, especially, for me:
"The acres passed beneath our feet
and acorns turned to trees.
The years drove sun to shyly peep
through black sky's storm-swept seas."
Great alliteration and consonance, subtle rhyme, lovely image...beautiful!
Sue
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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LOVE the new chapter Mike! Glad you're back on site and hope all is well...I'm catching up myself and thanks for the reviews. I've read them just haven't replied yet...This is a smart, well written tale. There are MANY verses that were favorites, but this one stood out, especially, for me:
"The acres passed beneath our feet
and acorns turned to trees.
The years drove sun to shyly peep
through black sky's storm-swept seas."
Great alliteration and consonance, subtle rhyme, lovely image...beautiful!
Sue
Comment Written 16-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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Thank you, Sue :-). I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter, which has taken me too long to pull together. As for the reviews, it's always a pleasure reading your work.
Mike
Comment from Shirley McLain
Very good. You painted a vivid story with few words. You brought pictures to my minds eye. It read smooth and it was easy to understand. Good job.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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Very good. You painted a vivid story with few words. You brought pictures to my minds eye. It read smooth and it was easy to understand. Good job.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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Thank you, TG :-) I'm very much enjoying spinning my dark yarn in poetry. So glad you enjoyed the read.
Mike
Comment from crbjustice
Consider changing "become" to "became". There are no additional grammatical or punctuation errors. This was my first introduction to the "wandering man" and yet I felt as if I had always known him. In spite of the length, my attention was maintained by effective word choices.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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Consider changing "become" to "became". There are no additional grammatical or punctuation errors. This was my first introduction to the "wandering man" and yet I felt as if I had always known him. In spite of the length, my attention was maintained by effective word choices.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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Thank, i'm heartily glad you enjoyed the read :-). I went with 'become' to help promote a prophetic, formal feel to the words (eg 'today I am become death' etc), but i'll certainly consider your suggestion.
Mike
Comment from Sasha
I enjoyed the chapter very much. You have continued to such a marvelous job conveying the bleak physical and emotional environment of these two lost souls. Your imagery is superb. I anxiously look forward to the next chapter. Very nice work my friend.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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I enjoyed the chapter very much. You have continued to such a marvelous job conveying the bleak physical and emotional environment of these two lost souls. Your imagery is superb. I anxiously look forward to the next chapter. Very nice work my friend.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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Thank you :-). I always look forward to your reviews! I've been slowly forming this chapter over a few weeks, never quite happy with it. Hopefully i'll be able to crack on now!
Mike
Comment from Valkarie
I like this because...This Piece of work is so powerful and visual yet it has a darkness about it which one cannot explain. Your description and detail are just so creatively written making your words flow so eloquently with a good balance. A very good piece.
Valkarie...
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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I like this because...This Piece of work is so powerful and visual yet it has a darkness about it which one cannot explain. Your description and detail are just so creatively written making your words flow so eloquently with a good balance. A very good piece.
Valkarie...
Comment Written 16-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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Thank you, Valk. I appreciate the thoughtful review :-).
Mike
Comment from Melba
Nice picture and color compliments this poem. It is well written and flows well. It is full of wishes to create a better world of love and peace but fate has it's own plans. Where there is love there is hate and where there is good there is evil. We can only do the best we can.
Melba
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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Nice picture and color compliments this poem. It is well written and flows well. It is full of wishes to create a better world of love and peace but fate has it's own plans. Where there is love there is hate and where there is good there is evil. We can only do the best we can.
Melba
Comment Written 16-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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How right you are, Melba. Thank you for the review :-)
Mike