The Temptation
ancient forces at work46 total reviews
Comment from BeautifulLie
I thought this was a good read! I like your style of writing and the way you piece your words together. A very lustful poem with a creepy sense to it lol. I loved it, keep it up! Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2011
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I thought this was a good read! I like your style of writing and the way you piece your words together. A very lustful poem with a creepy sense to it lol. I loved it, keep it up! Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2011
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Thank you Karissa.
Comment from DeRoseJ
I like this poem. It reminds me of an ex girlfriend who I happened to call a succubus. She may not have really sucked the life from any male host she seduced b ut it sure felt that way. At least she is an ex. But well written and worthy of that recognized medal.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2011
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I like this poem. It reminds me of an ex girlfriend who I happened to call a succubus. She may not have really sucked the life from any male host she seduced b ut it sure felt that way. At least she is an ex. But well written and worthy of that recognized medal.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2011
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Thank you Mr. Derose.
Comment from jlsavell
Victortouche
Oh proud man, the cabalistic, voracious urge
to greedily consume the lion's virility
For this infernal wanton Lilith stalks stealthily
Undetected as her tongue positions its lethal strike
Oh proud man, such an enchantress challenges wit
In spellbound hostage she'll slither seductively slow
With an undulating rhythm, she'll gambol deliciously sweet,
as your vainglorious flesh swells with conquest desire
Ah, proud man, but she does willingly submit
For her accursed hunger serves to emasculate her victim
With hypnotic poison she'll harness your masculine will
In dulcet but draconian fondling she'll drain your soul
Proud, proud man, or is it eternal master?
To whom dare address such a courageous, but pompous command?
This unmerciful siren insults a black widow's venom
Her claws will rip your pulsating heart in fiendish glee
Oh this Lilith, this succubus, this phantasm of legend
It is this revenant's unbreakable bewitchment boast
Your prowess is of little significance to consider
When she enters your dreams of nocturnal illusion's realm
Ha,ha,ha,mortal man.Who shall laugh last,the femme fatal???.
Temptation is what this devilish tempest deals
Beware of her sorceress trap,wizardry she'll possess
For you to believe you're in control, ha,ha,ha
ok I had too much fun with this..guess you can tell I liked your sly seductive poetry. Why is it under story??/ well done..thoroughly enjoyed..
jlsavell
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2010
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Victortouche
Oh proud man, the cabalistic, voracious urge
to greedily consume the lion's virility
For this infernal wanton Lilith stalks stealthily
Undetected as her tongue positions its lethal strike
Oh proud man, such an enchantress challenges wit
In spellbound hostage she'll slither seductively slow
With an undulating rhythm, she'll gambol deliciously sweet,
as your vainglorious flesh swells with conquest desire
Ah, proud man, but she does willingly submit
For her accursed hunger serves to emasculate her victim
With hypnotic poison she'll harness your masculine will
In dulcet but draconian fondling she'll drain your soul
Proud, proud man, or is it eternal master?
To whom dare address such a courageous, but pompous command?
This unmerciful siren insults a black widow's venom
Her claws will rip your pulsating heart in fiendish glee
Oh this Lilith, this succubus, this phantasm of legend
It is this revenant's unbreakable bewitchment boast
Your prowess is of little significance to consider
When she enters your dreams of nocturnal illusion's realm
Ha,ha,ha,mortal man.Who shall laugh last,the femme fatal???.
Temptation is what this devilish tempest deals
Beware of her sorceress trap,wizardry she'll possess
For you to believe you're in control, ha,ha,ha
ok I had too much fun with this..guess you can tell I liked your sly seductive poetry. Why is it under story??/ well done..thoroughly enjoyed..
jlsavell
Comment Written 07-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2010
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yes, yes, go on go on....pant, pant, pant
Comment from Ankh
This is a pretty interesting piece my friend. It has a good flow and the story reads well. The subject was something that I have not seen on this site before. I enjoyed the read. Well done :-)~
Seth
reply by the author on 06-May-2011
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This is a pretty interesting piece my friend. It has a good flow and the story reads well. The subject was something that I have not seen on this site before. I enjoyed the read. Well done :-)~
Seth
Comment Written 07-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 06-May-2011
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Thanks a lot Seth.
Comment from Alexandra.Obreja
Hi Victor,
This sounds ... eerie. It was like the price of darkness has captured a dark faerie and now keeps her caged for etenity. I know what i just said sounds stupid but this was the image your poem gave me as i read it.
Have a wonderful day!
Best regards,
Alex
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2010
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Hi Victor,
This sounds ... eerie. It was like the price of darkness has captured a dark faerie and now keeps her caged for etenity. I know what i just said sounds stupid but this was the image your poem gave me as i read it.
Have a wonderful day!
Best regards,
Alex
Comment Written 07-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2010
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Stupid? I wish I had said it. You may wish to consider writing. LOL
Comment from L.A.Tripp
Is this supposed to be a poem? I thought it was supposed to be a story.
Well, for me, when it said mature, I have no problem with that, was looking forward to it actually, but I thought it would be more risque, lol. But the succubus word itself was used a bit more than I liked. Would have liked something different is all.
reply by the author on 06-May-2011
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Is this supposed to be a poem? I thought it was supposed to be a story.
Well, for me, when it said mature, I have no problem with that, was looking forward to it actually, but I thought it would be more risque, lol. But the succubus word itself was used a bit more than I liked. Would have liked something different is all.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 06-May-2011
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Thank you for reading.
Comment from Perp Ihebom
This is a well worded piece about the vice of unbridled lust that many people often refer to as love. ALTHOUGH I DO NOT FULLY UNDERSTAND THE POEM, I believe it expresses a kind of sick emotion that will likely be dangerous if let lose on the populace. cheers
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2010
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This is a well worded piece about the vice of unbridled lust that many people often refer to as love. ALTHOUGH I DO NOT FULLY UNDERSTAND THE POEM, I believe it expresses a kind of sick emotion that will likely be dangerous if let lose on the populace. cheers
Comment Written 07-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2010
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Very, very true. This is why it must be eternally confined to the netherworlds.
Comment from Gooloom
Very explicit poem and very well written. The eternal conflict of man and woman . The male is superior in his phallic symbol, yet taunts his lover as she succumbs to his temptaion. "Mine for eternity to rape to use. you will never escape succubus" the eternal conqueror the seducer! The man with his proud virility and the woman who pleasures him and herself also. You have written in a very lucid and lustful style. Very good indeed. Gooloom
reply by the author on 06-May-2011
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Very explicit poem and very well written. The eternal conflict of man and woman . The male is superior in his phallic symbol, yet taunts his lover as she succumbs to his temptaion. "Mine for eternity to rape to use. you will never escape succubus" the eternal conqueror the seducer! The man with his proud virility and the woman who pleasures him and herself also. You have written in a very lucid and lustful style. Very good indeed. Gooloom
Comment Written 07-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 06-May-2011
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I thank you sincerely.
Comment from marcii
Although very interesting,that in as much as I understood,perhaps a little over my head.
If I have interpreted it wrong, im sorry though off course we all seem to interpret differently. I see this as a man feeling himself as the all powerful because he can do for the woman what she real likes.
Marcii
reply by the author on 06-May-2011
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Although very interesting,that in as much as I understood,perhaps a little over my head.
If I have interpreted it wrong, im sorry though off course we all seem to interpret differently. I see this as a man feeling himself as the all powerful because he can do for the woman what she real likes.
Marcii
Comment Written 07-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 06-May-2011
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Thank you Marcii.
Comment from JW
This was an interesting read. Great poem. Yet, I'm puzzled as to why it was listed as a story. Oh well, either way, it showed how some things in life has never changed.
reply by the author on 06-May-2011
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This was an interesting read. Great poem. Yet, I'm puzzled as to why it was listed as a story. Oh well, either way, it showed how some things in life has never changed.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 06-May-2011
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Yes Jonathon, that is true.