Reviews from

Another Pretty Face

Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Chatper 2 Part three"
Can love survive small town gossip?

73 total reviews 
Comment from RebelRose
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Very well done. The dialogue between Cassie, Joe and Sara is very believable and makes it feel like you are right there with them hearing it first hand.

 Comment Written 12-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 12-Jul-2010
    Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Ponder
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Barbara,

I'm really impressed with the quality of writing in this chapter. So much so I intent to go back and read the rest.

The dialogue and simple back-and-forth conversation between Joe and Sara is so well done its a real lesson in how to do it. The use of secondary characters to bring the chapter along is also excellent and you've managed to give Cassie an age apropriate characterisation.

The emotional ending to this chapter was superb.

Romance has a reputation for shoddy writing, but you've blown that stereotype out of the water here.

Jules

 Comment Written 12-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 12-Jul-2010
    Thank you for your kind review. I sure hope I don't disappoint you.
Comment from Monte Carbolic
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Impressive writing. I don't believe I have read anything of yours before. You are a very detailed, entertaining writer. I hope to read more from you again.

 Comment Written 12-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 12-Jul-2010
    Thank you for your kind review. I hope you stop by again.
Comment from ladybird
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A nice follow on chapter leading from the meal they all shared. Joe seems quite intense in his feelings towards Sara, but she seems to hold back. Can't say as I blame her, after all the gossip she's had to endure over the years.

 Comment Written 12-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 12-Jul-2010
    Thank you for your kind review and perceptive view.
reply by ladybird on 12-Jul-2010
    You're welcome.
Comment from nora arjuna
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi barb, I have nothing to pick at here. You've improved a lot since I first read you. Not that I'm an expert, but things appear to be much smoother now. Just one observation, you may want to cut on some unnecessary dialogues so the story will move faster. :)

 Comment Written 12-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 12-Jul-2010
    Thank you for your kind review and I will look at the dialogue.
Comment from jclark
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I enjoy the interaction amongst the three of them and Joe's character is easy to like. You are building a nice foundation and weaving details together. Can't wait to read on.
Judy

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 12-Jul-2010
    Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Connie P
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Barbara,
I'm back after a bit of a break. Your chapter is flawlessly written, I'll have to back track and catch up on the story line. I enjoyed this one though.
Connie

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 12-Jul-2010
    Thank you for your kind review. I have missed you.
reply by Connie P on 13-Jul-2010
    You're welcome Barbara, I've missed you also, as well as the others in my FS family.
    I'll be posting and reviewing again soon.
    Connie
Comment from bhogg
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

continue get (continued to) I'm sure this has been pointed out. I'm behind in my reading!

Barbara - you write so smoothly. I of course, keep up with this, but someone could have dropped in for the first time and felt comfortable. One of the things I'm hoping to learn from you is the easy way you create tension - making the reader want to follow up, almost diasppointed when the story ends. Very nicely done. Bill


 Comment Written 11-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 11-Jul-2010
    Thank you for your kind review. You are so generous with your praise. You make a girl blush.
Comment from Kaladore
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I think the story's pace is moving well and you are building up the characters well, not too fast, not too slow. It'll be interesting to see what happens from here.

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 11-Jul-2010
    Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Barbara,

Interesting chapter and a bit more fleshing out f the people involved. This looks like its heading toward an interesting showdown at some stage with a few minor confrontations in between.

Good work.

Patrick

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 11-Jul-2010
    Thank you for your kind review. I always appreciate hearing from you.