Pumpkin Fate
Bad things happen to bad people.67 total reviews
Comment from susand3022
Hi Bob! That was a really good story... and what a satisfying ending! I was kind of hoping that she'd set the pumpkins, or one of them, under a curtain herself, thus burning the ugly thing down with him in it! But, looks as if she was better than that... it's good to know that when a person takes the high road, sometimes fate steps in. :)
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2019
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Hi Bob! That was a really good story... and what a satisfying ending! I was kind of hoping that she'd set the pumpkins, or one of them, under a curtain herself, thus burning the ugly thing down with him in it! But, looks as if she was better than that... it's good to know that when a person takes the high road, sometimes fate steps in. :)
Comment Written 22-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2019
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Thanks so much, dear friend. I appreciate your reviewing this oldie. : ) Bob
Comment from light
No surprise that his was a winner. Your detail and dialogue always amazes me. You paint a realistic picture. I would say that Coley reaped what he sowed.
Elaine
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2019
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No surprise that his was a winner. Your detail and dialogue always amazes me. You paint a realistic picture. I would say that Coley reaped what he sowed.
Elaine
Comment Written 22-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2019
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Aaaah, thanks so much, Elaine. You are a real sweetheart. Thank you for the six stars and your commentary. : ) Bob
Comment from Mackenzie Cooper
This was an awesome short story. I have always appreciated poetic justice. I have watched a lot of movies to know of the different ways characters are killed off. Awesome job!
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2019
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This was an awesome short story. I have always appreciated poetic justice. I have watched a lot of movies to know of the different ways characters are killed off. Awesome job!
Comment Written 21-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2019
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Thank you, Mackenzie. : ) Bob
Comment from F. Wehr3
Good stuff here, Bob. I enjoyed this little Halloween tale. Coley got what he deserved. So many good moments of imagery. I would've liked to see Laureen and Josh's reaction to what happened, doubt there would've been any tears shed. Nicely done!
Take care,
Russell
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2019
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Good stuff here, Bob. I enjoyed this little Halloween tale. Coley got what he deserved. So many good moments of imagery. I would've liked to see Laureen and Josh's reaction to what happened, doubt there would've been any tears shed. Nicely done!
Take care,
Russell
Comment Written 21-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2019
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Thank you Russ. It was almost ten years ago when I won for that one. : ) Bob
Comment from dragonpoet
Wow, this is old, It is a layered story of abuses and love. She should have left him when he started hitting her. The son would have had a better life.
I think Josh is brave for a young boy. The neighbors still should have called to see if someone was in the trailer knowing what Coley was like and that he was passing out candy.
Keep writing
Joan
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2019
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Wow, this is old, It is a layered story of abuses and love. She should have left him when he started hitting her. The son would have had a better life.
I think Josh is brave for a young boy. The neighbors still should have called to see if someone was in the trailer knowing what Coley was like and that he was passing out candy.
Keep writing
Joan
Comment Written 21-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2019
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Thank you joan. : ) Bob
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Don't mention it, Bob.
Joan
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: ) Bob
Comment from Iza Deleanu
" His mean spirit was coiled like a rattler--ready to strike any moment. When she looked at the seriousness and ego-centered determination in his face, she saw a moth about to fly into a flame." I like the description you choose for his mean spirit. You have lots of original expression through the story. A very executed piece for the elements of the contest:) Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2019
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" His mean spirit was coiled like a rattler--ready to strike any moment. When she looked at the seriousness and ego-centered determination in his face, she saw a moth about to fly into a flame." I like the description you choose for his mean spirit. You have lots of original expression through the story. A very executed piece for the elements of the contest:) Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2019
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Thank you for this review, Iza. : ) Bob
Comment from judiverse
What a tale.! You're great with a short story. How great that you wrote this based on the three required word. Coley thinks the world revolves around him--a drunken, abusive slob. Laureen is really patient with him after the way he treats her and Josh. Good thing Laureen and Josh were out of the house when the fire started. When she looked at the sky and saw storm clouds and the red setting sun. How appropriate that no one thought of checking to see if anyone was in the trailer as it burned. judi
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2019
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What a tale.! You're great with a short story. How great that you wrote this based on the three required word. Coley thinks the world revolves around him--a drunken, abusive slob. Laureen is really patient with him after the way he treats her and Josh. Good thing Laureen and Josh were out of the house when the fire started. When she looked at the sky and saw storm clouds and the red setting sun. How appropriate that no one thought of checking to see if anyone was in the trailer as it burned. judi
Comment Written 20-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2019
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Thank you so much, my friend. I appreciate the six stas, your comments and especially just you. : ) Bob
Comment from royowen
I guess the only thing one can say is there really is poetic justice. I think I was a little like that, minus the violence all those years ago. But God had mercy on me, and obviously had plans. An excellent story Bob, a sequel would be good, with justice for Laureen and son. Well done, well written, good characters and plot, blessings, Roy
Typo : I was too drunk to (drink) drive?
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2019
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I guess the only thing one can say is there really is poetic justice. I think I was a little like that, minus the violence all those years ago. But God had mercy on me, and obviously had plans. An excellent story Bob, a sequel would be good, with justice for Laureen and son. Well done, well written, good characters and plot, blessings, Roy
Typo : I was too drunk to (drink) drive?
Comment Written 20-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2019
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Too drunk to drink was exactly how I wanted it, Roy. LOL : ) Thank you dear friend. Bob
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Bless you Bob
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: ) Bob
Comment from lyenochka
Well told, Bob! I like how you created such a terrible character in Coley Drummond that the reader hoped for him to either repent and change or face the flames. Congrats on your win!
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2019
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Well told, Bob! I like how you created such a terrible character in Coley Drummond that the reader hoped for him to either repent and change or face the flames. Congrats on your win!
Comment Written 20-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2019
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Thank you Helen. : ) Bob
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Bob,
"Bad things happen to bad people." I just read these CATCHY words, and went on reading the whole story running in a very SMOOTH AND CAPTIVATING style up to the end.
Then I noticed: "Halloween, Aspirin, and Tattoos- Contest Winner "
A Deserving Candidate, Indeed!
CONGRATULATIONS!!
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2019
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Hello Bob,
"Bad things happen to bad people." I just read these CATCHY words, and went on reading the whole story running in a very SMOOTH AND CAPTIVATING style up to the end.
Then I noticed: "Halloween, Aspirin, and Tattoos- Contest Winner "
A Deserving Candidate, Indeed!
CONGRATULATIONS!!
Comment Written 20-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2019
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Thanks so much, RP. I appreciate the six stars and your comments. bless you my friend. : ) Bob
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Bob, Most Welcome!
You ACTUALLY deserve, and that's why you are at a place where you are now!
With best wishes,
~ RP
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Thanks so much my friend. : ) Bob