Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 31 "Sara and Dani talk."Can love survive small town gossip?
84 total reviews
Comment from Pablo Lema
Its a solid piece, you got a lot of recognition for it, good job.
Personally I feel like the constant action interruptions to dialogue kill the flow. Its not something that I believe works well, I think dialogue should flow by itself and be as clean as possible. Hence the 4 stars.
Good luck.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2011
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Its a solid piece, you got a lot of recognition for it, good job.
Personally I feel like the constant action interruptions to dialogue kill the flow. Its not something that I believe works well, I think dialogue should flow by itself and be as clean as possible. Hence the 4 stars.
Good luck.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2011
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You have a right to your opinion. Most of my fans praise me for my dialogue. So I guess each person has thier own preference, hence the reason there's so many authors out there.
Comment from Magic Wand
Excellent dialog going back and forth, totally believable. Good strong emotion showing in the characters, and the visuals are good. What more can I say?
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2011
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Excellent dialog going back and forth, totally believable. Good strong emotion showing in the characters, and the visuals are good. What more can I say?
Comment Written 05-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
barbara:
I know from my own experiences with rape and sexual
assault over a long period of time that it is very
hard to trust anyone's motives unless you have
received the assistance you need prior to getting
into a relationship
this is extremely well-written
thanks for sharing
love,
jan
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2011
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barbara:
I know from my own experiences with rape and sexual
assault over a long period of time that it is very
hard to trust anyone's motives unless you have
received the assistance you need prior to getting
into a relationship
this is extremely well-written
thanks for sharing
love,
jan
Comment Written 05-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from KayteeF
I can see that Sara has some difficulty in coming to terms with her love for Joe.
I used to know someone who was a single parent. She had quite a hard time letting anyone have a shared parental relationship with her son. This is a deeper thought than I think you show in your story.
Here you have shown that Joe does really look out for Cassie AND Sara.
Sara has been so used to coping on her own, with the help of her parents, and now she definitely has love for Joe, but fears the 'business side' of Joe's life.
Quite a quandary for poor Sara. She will sort herself out through the loving support of those folks in both their lives, I HOPE.
Great work Barbara.
I look forward to the next chapter.
I hope you are feeling somewhat better after the festive season, and a wee bit of rest. I do think of you daily.
Regards, Cathleen
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2011
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I can see that Sara has some difficulty in coming to terms with her love for Joe.
I used to know someone who was a single parent. She had quite a hard time letting anyone have a shared parental relationship with her son. This is a deeper thought than I think you show in your story.
Here you have shown that Joe does really look out for Cassie AND Sara.
Sara has been so used to coping on her own, with the help of her parents, and now she definitely has love for Joe, but fears the 'business side' of Joe's life.
Quite a quandary for poor Sara. She will sort herself out through the loving support of those folks in both their lives, I HOPE.
Great work Barbara.
I look forward to the next chapter.
I hope you are feeling somewhat better after the festive season, and a wee bit of rest. I do think of you daily.
Regards, Cathleen
Comment Written 05-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Perp Ihebom
Nice story that is not tedious to read because of the narrative style adopted. The dialogues are credible. There is enough suspense built into the chapter. Good ending. cheers
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2011
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Nice story that is not tedious to read because of the narrative style adopted. The dialogues are credible. There is enough suspense built into the chapter. Good ending. cheers
Comment Written 05-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Paula Andrea Pyle
Now some people can really genuinely write great dialogue. This writer does. I am moved by the poignantly stated effectual lines offered for her characters to deliver.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2011
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Now some people can really genuinely write great dialogue. This writer does. I am moved by the poignantly stated effectual lines offered for her characters to deliver.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2011
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Thank you for your kind review and encouraging words.
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of course...
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certainly...
Comment from Ted T
Hi Barbara :)
Good one here. Lots of dialogue exchange moving the story forward.
Nice imaging and emotional pacing between the two women.
Well done with the ending line to make the reader turn the page.
What is the reason for all the space between BG and the text?
Ted
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2011
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Hi Barbara :)
Good one here. Lots of dialogue exchange moving the story forward.
Nice imaging and emotional pacing between the two women.
Well done with the ending line to make the reader turn the page.
What is the reason for all the space between BG and the text?
Ted
Comment Written 04-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2011
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Thank you for your kind review and support.
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You're welcome :)
Comment from fictionwriter
After all Joe has done for her, how can Sara not be grateful and more in love with him for risking his life to save Cassie, it seems uncharateristic to me. Well done.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2011
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After all Joe has done for her, how can Sara not be grateful and more in love with him for risking his life to save Cassie, it seems uncharateristic to me. Well done.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2011
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I think Sara is afraid to let her feelings be known. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Auroraboreal800
Another good chapter written. I loved your ability to bring your characters and their environment to life, that really makes your writing very enjoyable.
I hope you're doing fine...
God bless dear friend,
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2011
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Another good chapter written. I loved your ability to bring your characters and their environment to life, that really makes your writing very enjoyable.
I hope you're doing fine...
God bless dear friend,
Comment Written 04-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from bhogg
Another great post. I've often thought that friendship between women is just different than friendships with guys. You wrote of the conversation between Dani and Sara is such a straight forward and believeable way. This whole story has been great to follow. Its getting near the end and I'll miss it. Always warm regards, Bill
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2011
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Another great post. I've often thought that friendship between women is just different than friendships with guys. You wrote of the conversation between Dani and Sara is such a straight forward and believeable way. This whole story has been great to follow. Its getting near the end and I'll miss it. Always warm regards, Bill
Comment Written 04-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2011
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I don't think men have the same type of deep friendship that women have. I am not sure why. I know my guys don't have anyone that they are as close to as I am with one of my girlfriends. I husband sees it as a need that I have. Thank you for your kind review.