Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Part 3 Chapter 5"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
94 total reviews
Comment from whispersofthesoul
hiya,
wow scarey picture, lonely hearts meet, is great title and it is a grewat story, it grabbed my attention and was easy to read which is always a good sign
welldone
kely xxx
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2011
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hiya,
wow scarey picture, lonely hearts meet, is great title and it is a grewat story, it grabbed my attention and was easy to read which is always a good sign
welldone
kely xxx
Comment Written 20-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from nanna
Well written, the reader can see the group of them around the artist. I liked the way the two men kept changing their minds about individual features. I imagine it is very hard to describe someone so clearly especially if the last time she was seen her face was disfigured.
Then you move from the tragedy of the abused woman to the everyday sharing of pie and ice cream and you make the move so easily, it slides along.
I know this is part of a much longer novel, but even reading a small section satisfied my desire to learn about this family group.
I see you have dedicated to battered women and think that it is a fine gesture to write something that brings their plight to the fore.
Thank you for sharing your work Nanna
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2011
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Well written, the reader can see the group of them around the artist. I liked the way the two men kept changing their minds about individual features. I imagine it is very hard to describe someone so clearly especially if the last time she was seen her face was disfigured.
Then you move from the tragedy of the abused woman to the everyday sharing of pie and ice cream and you make the move so easily, it slides along.
I know this is part of a much longer novel, but even reading a small section satisfied my desire to learn about this family group.
I see you have dedicated to battered women and think that it is a fine gesture to write something that brings their plight to the fore.
Thank you for sharing your work Nanna
Comment Written 20-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2011
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Thank you for your kind review and support.
Comment from livingwords
This is a fine write. I hope I can separate out my strong feelings of support for the cause and care about you. From a pure write view, it's clear, personable with limited, yet effective detail. Dan /)$
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2011
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This is a fine write. I hope I can separate out my strong feelings of support for the cause and care about you. From a pure write view, it's clear, personable with limited, yet effective detail. Dan /)$
Comment Written 20-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2011
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Thank you for your kindr review and supprot.
Comment from LegendaryAngel
Hello,
I felt that your work was a nice, easy read (as in simple, easy to get the meaning and not bogged down with detail.) That being said, in the upper portion of your piece, perhaps a paragraph or two to break up the dialogue would be nice, either to get a feel for the character or surroundings or other. But it's very minor, other than that I didn't find anything other to mention.
LA
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2011
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Hello,
I felt that your work was a nice, easy read (as in simple, easy to get the meaning and not bogged down with detail.) That being said, in the upper portion of your piece, perhaps a paragraph or two to break up the dialogue would be nice, either to get a feel for the character or surroundings or other. But it's very minor, other than that I didn't find anything other to mention.
LA
Comment Written 19-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2011
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I will recheck that area. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Terror2s
Troy finished his desert and excused himself from the table. Remember, you wnt seconds of dessert so it has a double "s". Otherwise I didn't notice any errors. T2
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2011
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Troy finished his desert and excused himself from the table. Remember, you wnt seconds of dessert so it has a double "s". Otherwise I didn't notice any errors. T2
Comment Written 19-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2011
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I always make that mistake, thank you for catching it.
Comment from missyvamp
very well done, though sad...and too often true. Oftentimes, as I just mentioned to a poetry writer about abusive husbands, the abuser keeps the abusee with him by threatening to hurt or even kill members of her family...making it difficult to be strong enough to leave. Psych counseling and meds can help though, if she ever finds the courage to leave...
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2011
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very well done, though sad...and too often true. Oftentimes, as I just mentioned to a poetry writer about abusive husbands, the abuser keeps the abusee with him by threatening to hurt or even kill members of her family...making it difficult to be strong enough to leave. Psych counseling and meds can help though, if she ever finds the courage to leave...
Comment Written 19-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from tjames
Great story line. It grabbed my attention so I went back and read a couple of chapters. I would like to go back and read from the beginning. This story has an element of drama that would hold a reader's interest. So far, I like what I've read.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2011
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Great story line. It grabbed my attention so I went back and read a couple of chapters. I would like to go back and read from the beginning. This story has an element of drama that would hold a reader's interest. So far, I like what I've read.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from bcorn17
This chapter has given an neat account of the story so happened so far. The narrative is simple and flow is easy to understand the plot. It brings about the plight of an abused woman's plight graphically. Especially in the sentence 'when I saw them they were swollen and bruised.' Reading the author's notes , it is distressing to know modernization has not minimized abused women's' plight. It heartening to know of the helpline available . To have a respectable life women should become more self assured and society itself should wake-up and make the life worthwhile. This narrative has interested me to read the remaining chapters.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2011
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This chapter has given an neat account of the story so happened so far. The narrative is simple and flow is easy to understand the plot. It brings about the plight of an abused woman's plight graphically. Especially in the sentence 'when I saw them they were swollen and bruised.' Reading the author's notes , it is distressing to know modernization has not minimized abused women's' plight. It heartening to know of the helpline available . To have a respectable life women should become more self assured and society itself should wake-up and make the life worthwhile. This narrative has interested me to read the remaining chapters.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2011
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Thank you for your kind review and insight.
Comment from nora arjuna
hi barb, i've been busy and now have some moments to check on you and a few others. i've missed a lot i guess, but something happened to anna. will try to read the previous chapters.
"Anna has freckles across the bridge of her nose and they flow onto her [checks]." - cheeks
hope you're doing fine.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2011
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hi barb, i've been busy and now have some moments to check on you and a few others. i've missed a lot i guess, but something happened to anna. will try to read the previous chapters.
"Anna has freckles across the bridge of her nose and they flow onto her [checks]." - cheeks
hope you're doing fine.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2011
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Thank you for catching that typo. I will correct it immediately. I'm shocked nobody else has. I appreciate your review and support. I've missed you.
Comment from Carolyn 12
I hope Anna can stay safe and get her divorce from her husband..Maragret had a hard time getting the drawing as well as she did, guess that shows even though we know someone describing them is not always so easy..
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2011
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I hope Anna can stay safe and get her divorce from her husband..Maragret had a hard time getting the drawing as well as she did, guess that shows even though we know someone describing them is not always so easy..
Comment Written 19-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.