Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Part 1 Chapter 6"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
87 total reviews
Comment from jloucks
Very excellent work indeed!
The message is priceless and this Writer obviously has had dealings with abuse vitims or has been in a position of this unspeakable reality that is happening in our country in epedemic proportions..
The story is very compelling and the character comes alive like it is a friend I have known for years.
Wanted to read on and on and this as a book would have been eaten up by me in two days!
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2011
Very excellent work indeed!
The message is priceless and this Writer obviously has had dealings with abuse vitims or has been in a position of this unspeakable reality that is happening in our country in epedemic proportions..
The story is very compelling and the character comes alive like it is a friend I have known for years.
Wanted to read on and on and this as a book would have been eaten up by me in two days!
Comment Written 28-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2011
-
thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Marq42
I have not been married long enough to experience a fight that can cause physically abuse a spouse, but I would not do that to my wife, I was brought up to respect the opposite sex and I despise men that give us a bad name,plus I am all for the S.A.F.E organization and with the story, I thought it was exceptional and it gets to the point. I am very impressed with the way the words are organized and I am looking forward to more in the future.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2011
I have not been married long enough to experience a fight that can cause physically abuse a spouse, but I would not do that to my wife, I was brought up to respect the opposite sex and I despise men that give us a bad name,plus I am all for the S.A.F.E organization and with the story, I thought it was exceptional and it gets to the point. I am very impressed with the way the words are organized and I am looking forward to more in the future.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2011
-
Thank you for you kind review.
Comment from Maureen's Pen
I was so excited to read this. I was a little worried I may not pick up the story line as I haven't read the other chapters. But I got right into it. This piece reads like a first class novel. I know because I read a lot of novels, sometimes one a day! True, but I am home on disability so that gives me the graces of reading and writing.
I loved your characters, Troy already grabbed me. This piece of work and all the searching for Anna has caught me hook line and sinker.
Want to read more now.
Thank you for sharing.
Maureen
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2011
I was so excited to read this. I was a little worried I may not pick up the story line as I haven't read the other chapters. But I got right into it. This piece reads like a first class novel. I know because I read a lot of novels, sometimes one a day! True, but I am home on disability so that gives me the graces of reading and writing.
I loved your characters, Troy already grabbed me. This piece of work and all the searching for Anna has caught me hook line and sinker.
Want to read more now.
Thank you for sharing.
Maureen
Comment Written 28-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review and encouraging words.
Comment from eliz100
This was a good read from beginning to end, as usual. Nice idea to use the underground railroad idea to keep women and children safe.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2011
This was a good read from beginning to end, as usual. Nice idea to use the underground railroad idea to keep women and children safe.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from 7thpoet
Still missing I see....well I too hope for her safety and well being along with Michael, her baby. At least now I can rest assured that she is at least in safe hands.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2011
Still missing I see....well I too hope for her safety and well being along with Michael, her baby. At least now I can rest assured that she is at least in safe hands.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2011
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from CALLAHANMR
Hi Barbara:)
I looked at this post eary this morning. I was intrigued with the story so I went back and read everything up to this point. I will write reviews for each post as I get time.
My second stepfather, Frederick Ireton, is great example of an abusive drunken husband. During my teenage years I never went to be without a warning that it might be my last night to live because I supported my mother against him. We lived on a ranch in Western Kansas which was located twenty-five miles from town. He always wore a loaded revolver and a Bowie knife.
Frederick was one of the nicest men I ever knew before the wedding, but within two days my mother and I knew his true nature and until his death we lived every day in fear and in my mother's case with serious pain from injuries he inflicted to control her.you can take your pick from the excuses abused women use to justify staying in the relationship. Mother did call the sheriff one time. He backed down in fear and refused to do anything. My mother just got another beating.
In your story Annie apparently found help, but like all groups sheltering abused woman, none of the workers will give a clue as to location. Often women are prohibited from calling any men from the shelters, because it is a known fact that the abuser is the first person they are likely to call.The telephones in shelters are carefully monitored to prevent such contact. This makes the difficulty that Troy and his father encounter while looking foe Ammaseem to be quite authentic.
To this point in your book, I have found no SPAG with good storytelling.
Now I want to find out who was trying to call Troy from a blocked. phone.
Roger
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2011
Hi Barbara:)
I looked at this post eary this morning. I was intrigued with the story so I went back and read everything up to this point. I will write reviews for each post as I get time.
My second stepfather, Frederick Ireton, is great example of an abusive drunken husband. During my teenage years I never went to be without a warning that it might be my last night to live because I supported my mother against him. We lived on a ranch in Western Kansas which was located twenty-five miles from town. He always wore a loaded revolver and a Bowie knife.
Frederick was one of the nicest men I ever knew before the wedding, but within two days my mother and I knew his true nature and until his death we lived every day in fear and in my mother's case with serious pain from injuries he inflicted to control her.you can take your pick from the excuses abused women use to justify staying in the relationship. Mother did call the sheriff one time. He backed down in fear and refused to do anything. My mother just got another beating.
In your story Annie apparently found help, but like all groups sheltering abused woman, none of the workers will give a clue as to location. Often women are prohibited from calling any men from the shelters, because it is a known fact that the abuser is the first person they are likely to call.The telephones in shelters are carefully monitored to prevent such contact. This makes the difficulty that Troy and his father encounter while looking foe Ammaseem to be quite authentic.
To this point in your book, I have found no SPAG with good storytelling.
Now I want to find out who was trying to call Troy from a blocked. phone.
Roger
Comment Written 28-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2011
-
Thank you for your review. I am trying my best to keep this story authentic. I have had some reviewers tell me it's boring and I need to liven it up by having Anna be deranged or something. I can't believe this stupidity. Anyway, I thank you, again. Please keep reading, if I get off track, let me know.
Comment from AprilShower
This fellow who keeps looking for her would be putting her and himself in danger if he found her. If he knows someone is hiding her, he should not look for her. It sounds like her husband is a very dangerous person. This is an interesting and an awful situation. I didn't notice typos.
April
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2011
This fellow who keeps looking for her would be putting her and himself in danger if he found her. If he knows someone is hiding her, he should not look for her. It sounds like her husband is a very dangerous person. This is an interesting and an awful situation. I didn't notice typos.
April
Comment Written 28-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review.
-
You're welcome.
Comment from Connie P
I'm glad it's looking like Anna is safe. I felt she was or Bobby had her locked up someplace or worse. The volunteer is rightfully tight-lipped, they deal with volatile situations and the women's lives are literally in the hands of those who help them.
It's a tragedy that the domestic violence against Anna wouldn't be enough to keep Bobby away from them, but you're right, the system is murky when it comes to these situations.
Note:
Mid-afternoon, Troy answered his cellphone. (I think cell phone is two words.)
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2011
I'm glad it's looking like Anna is safe. I felt she was or Bobby had her locked up someplace or worse. The volunteer is rightfully tight-lipped, they deal with volatile situations and the women's lives are literally in the hands of those who help them.
It's a tragedy that the domestic violence against Anna wouldn't be enough to keep Bobby away from them, but you're right, the system is murky when it comes to these situations.
Note:
Mid-afternoon, Troy answered his cellphone. (I think cell phone is two words.)
Comment Written 28-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2011
-
According to my Webster's Dictionary cellphone is one word. I checked it for another reviewer. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Alaskastory
This part of chapter 6 moves along and gives the feeling that Anna is safe. The dialogue is well written. I had a tiny bit of trouble being sure who was speaking in the opening, so I make a small suggestion.
To be clear that it's Troy speaking, I suggest he should see who's calling. Maybe add a phrase instead of 'answered': 'Troy saw the caller's name on his cellphone screen. "Dad, did Everett find
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2011
This part of chapter 6 moves along and gives the feeling that Anna is safe. The dialogue is well written. I had a tiny bit of trouble being sure who was speaking in the opening, so I make a small suggestion.
To be clear that it's Troy speaking, I suggest he should see who's calling. Maybe add a phrase instead of 'answered': 'Troy saw the caller's name on his cellphone screen. "Dad, did Everett find
Comment Written 28-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2011
-
Thank you for your suggestion I will make that change.
Comment from Aarondodd1989
Very strong, believeable dialogue in this piece. The narrative moves just quickly enough to not get stale and slowly enough that it keeps the constant air of mystery. This is very well written. As I've dipping in and out of this book it is difficult to comment on the content as a whole. but there were no problems with the piece. Good work.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2011
Very strong, believeable dialogue in this piece. The narrative moves just quickly enough to not get stale and slowly enough that it keeps the constant air of mystery. This is very well written. As I've dipping in and out of this book it is difficult to comment on the content as a whole. but there were no problems with the piece. Good work.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review.