Metaphorical Seas
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "The Myth of the Sea"a series of blank impressions
22 total reviews
Comment from Denise S
The imagery was good. This poem is really different from all the others. A bit wierd , but it was nicely put together, you told the story well
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2012
  |
The imagery was good. This poem is really different from all the others. A bit wierd , but it was nicely put together, you told the story well
Comment Written 25-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2012
-
Hello Denise
Thanks for your comments;
I see the story really as representing all â??youthâ?? when leaving home. Regardless of the advice given, some stray â??too close to the sunâ?? and come unstuck.
Again, I thank you for the time taken to review this.
I wish you well
phill
Comment from Gungalo
It's wonderful and indeed blank verse. It's a wonderful story you tell of Icarius and it bares well his ordeal with his father.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2012
|
It's wonderful and indeed blank verse. It's a wonderful story you tell of Icarius and it bares well his ordeal with his father.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2012
-
Hello there
Thanks for your comments;
I see the story really as representing all â??youthâ?? when leaving home. Regardless of the advice given, some stray â??too close to the sunâ?? and come unstuck.
Again, I thank you for the time taken to review this.
I wish you well
phill
-
Smile.
Comment from joann r romei
This is an excellent poem, it is intense and powerful, it has an old time feel to it, it does give me the impression of some sort of domineering or abuse from the father, but im sure their is symbolism here
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2012
|
This is an excellent poem, it is intense and powerful, it has an old time feel to it, it does give me the impression of some sort of domineering or abuse from the father, but im sure their is symbolism here
Comment Written 25-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2012
-
Hello there
Thanks for your comments;
I see the story really as representing all â??youthâ?? when leaving home. Regardless of the advice given, some stray â??too close to the sunâ?? and come unstuck.
Again, I thank you for the time taken to review this.
I wish you well
phill
Comment from Poetic, Just Is.
This is fabulous. I wish you could read some of my best stuff, but it was entered under my first username then i erased them, now they cannot be reposted. :-(
But they were more of my best caliber work I believe.
Oh well.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2012
|
This is fabulous. I wish you could read some of my best stuff, but it was entered under my first username then i erased them, now they cannot be reposted. :-(
But they were more of my best caliber work I believe.
Oh well.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2012
-
Hello there
Thanks for your comments;
I see the story really as representing all â??youthâ?? when leaving home. Regardless of the advice given, some stray â??too close to the sunâ?? and come unstuck.
Again, I thank you for the time taken to review this.
I wish you well
phill
Comment from ennahanid
I am not much of a Mythology follower, but I read this a day or so ago and really did not truly understand it so could not comment. I am back because I have on the Internet to read about it more.
I now enjoyed reading you on this piece and I thank you for pushing me to learn about this particular legend. I like to learn something new, good for the old brain.
Dinah
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2012
|
I am not much of a Mythology follower, but I read this a day or so ago and really did not truly understand it so could not comment. I am back because I have on the Internet to read about it more.
I now enjoyed reading you on this piece and I thank you for pushing me to learn about this particular legend. I like to learn something new, good for the old brain.
Dinah
Comment Written 24-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2012
-
many thanks!
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Hello Phill, I would call this free verse in story form. You have definitely given me pause with the authenticity of the write. Well done. xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2012
|
Hello Phill, I would call this free verse in story form. You have definitely given me pause with the authenticity of the write. Well done. xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 24-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2012
-
Hello there
Thanks for the review.
This isn't really â??freeâ?? at all â?? it is blank-verse and so structured into lines of iambic pentameter â?? normally in sets of 10 lines â?? or in this example 14 lines. A bit like an unrhymed sonnet if anything;
I cannot thank you enough for finding the time to read these.
I wish you well
Cheers
phill
Comment from adewpearl
excellent alliteration in welts of wax
excellent consonance of L sounds in plumage/mortal/folded/layered/blended/seals/until at last/old/helps/limbs
vivid descriptive detail as you chronicle how Daedelus applies the wings to Icarus
You retell this ancient story in excellent poetic form :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
|
excellent alliteration in welts of wax
excellent consonance of L sounds in plumage/mortal/folded/layered/blended/seals/until at last/old/helps/limbs
vivid descriptive detail as you chronicle how Daedelus applies the wings to Icarus
You retell this ancient story in excellent poetic form :-) Brooke
Comment Written 22-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
-
Hello there
I thank you for your kind words and encouragement
Thank you for reading this piece
Regards
phill
Comment from reconciled
Got you pretty good poem here...just a couple suggestions first break the poem into stanza's it will help it flow. second: find a nice picture for your poem. third: add a little rhyme...it help rhythm.....Rec.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
 |
Got you pretty good poem here...just a couple suggestions first break the poem into stanza's it will help it flow. second: find a nice picture for your poem. third: add a little rhyme...it help rhythm.....Rec.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
-
Hello there
Thanks for the note:
Blank Verse is meant to be unrhymed and it is not necessarily written in stanza forms â?? it is just straight iambic pentameter.
If it is broken up, it is normally in units of 10 or (as in my example) 14 line sonnets.
I take your point on the picture though.
Thanks for reading
Cheers
phill
-
10-4
Comment from mumsyone
Although I know absolutely nothing about Greek mythology, I understand your poem, and your author notes help a great deal. Good blank verse as far as I can see. Keep up the good work.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
|
Although I know absolutely nothing about Greek mythology, I understand your poem, and your author notes help a great deal. Good blank verse as far as I can see. Keep up the good work.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
-
Hello
Thank you for reading.
I wish you well
phill
Comment from uniqueauthor
This was a well written piece, but very confusing, unless you understand mythology. Unfortunately this is one myth I have not studied. Who is this person whose father was so cruel?
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
|
This was a well written piece, but very confusing, unless you understand mythology. Unfortunately this is one myth I have not studied. Who is this person whose father was so cruel?
Comment Written 22-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
-
Hello there
In legend: on the island of Crete, there was The Labyrinth where the half-man half-bull Minotaur lived.
The Labyrinth was built by Daedalus who knew its secret i.e. how to get out once you were in it; it was a simple secret â?? go in with a ball or string, with one end tied to the entrance; unravel it as you walk and roll it back up as you leave
He gave this secret to Ariadne who told the man she had fallen in love with, Theseus. This allowed him to enter the Labyrinth, kill the Minotaur and escape.
The king (Ariadneâ??s father) who used the Minotaur to punish and kill his enemies sought then to punish Daedalus but Daedalus escaped from the island with his son Icarus by building wings for them both; fashioned out of wax and feathers.
Daedalus before taking off warned Icarus not to fly too close to the sun, but, overcome by the joy of flight, Icarus came too close to the sun, which melted the wax of his wings.
Icarus fell into the sea in the area which now bears his name, the Icarian Sea near Icaria.
In this piece, Daedalus is saving Icarus not punishing him.
Thank you for reading thsi piece
phill
-
You're welcome. Thank you for the story, and for correcting my mistake. I love mythology. Peace for today