On top of the world
The view changes at the top35 total reviews
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
It is romantic without being sappy. I liked it very much. You have a dab hand with it. Of course, me knowing you, I saw this stuff coming a mile away, even so, It was still just right. It is a lovely piece of work. Karen
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2023
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It is romantic without being sappy. I liked it very much. You have a dab hand with it. Of course, me knowing you, I saw this stuff coming a mile away, even so, It was still just right. It is a lovely piece of work. Karen
Comment Written 01-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2023
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There can be only one outcome in a romance. Happily ever after. Lol. Thank you so much for this nice review. Gretchen
Comment from Wendy G
I love it. Nice ending. Just wondering why the ride didn't stop at the top all those other times if he had been asking for that for fifteen years. Glad she didn't fall for any of those boyfriends - he could have left it too late if they were both in their thirties. But I enjoyed it a lot.
Wendy
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2023
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I love it. Nice ending. Just wondering why the ride didn't stop at the top all those other times if he had been asking for that for fifteen years. Glad she didn't fall for any of those boyfriends - he could have left it too late if they were both in their thirties. But I enjoyed it a lot.
Wendy
Comment Written 01-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2023
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It may have, but Cary was too frightened to speak. Lol. This was the proverbial "poop or get off the pot" moment. Thank you so much. Gretchen
Comment from damommy
What a sweet, delightful story. What she'd been looking for was right in front of her all those years. What a wonderful friend Cary was. He waited until the right moment.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2023
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What a sweet, delightful story. What she'd been looking for was right in front of her all those years. What a wonderful friend Cary was. He waited until the right moment.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2023
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He did wait. As the ride attendant said "nothing like waiting until the last minute." Thank you so much fir this nice review and the exceptional rating. Gretchen
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is a great feel-good story. Cary finally told her how he felt. Maggie finally got it right and realized he was the guy she had been looking for all along.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2023
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This is a great feel-good story. Cary finally told her how he felt. Maggie finally got it right and realized he was the guy she had been looking for all along.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2023
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Thanks so much, Carol. Timing is everything. Gretchen
Comment from karenina
Improbable love stories are my favorite. You wrote this in such a conversational way I felt invited to share the journey of these two from "friends" to "more." When I was fifteen I had a "best guy friend" I blubbered to about my failed puppy love attempts. One day he smiled shyly and said "Why not me?"
(Firecrackers indeed!)
This appeals to me because for a brief moment in time, it was my reality.
Karenina
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2023
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Improbable love stories are my favorite. You wrote this in such a conversational way I felt invited to share the journey of these two from "friends" to "more." When I was fifteen I had a "best guy friend" I blubbered to about my failed puppy love attempts. One day he smiled shyly and said "Why not me?"
(Firecrackers indeed!)
This appeals to me because for a brief moment in time, it was my reality.
Karenina
Comment Written 30-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2023
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Write about it. That sounds adorable. Thank you so much. I'm glad it brought back good memories. Gretchen
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I dip my baby toe into prose once every six months... Hmmmm.
Comment from Irene Bratton
Hi, Gretchen. This is such a sweet story, and you've told it so well. I have a few suggestions for you that I hope are helpful.
You've written mainly in the past tense, but there are a couple of present tenses.
"She couldn't remember a summer going by when she and her best friend, Cary, didn't make their annual pilgrimage here." --> "...hadn't made their annual pilgrimage there."
"She looked around. It was beautiful from up here." --> "...It was such a beautiful view."
Here are a few other minor things.
"Without a word, Cary nodded and sat down next to Maggie." --> "down" is not needed
"Hey," Maggie said when he answered it." --> "...when he answered it" was already stated in the previous line, so it's repetitive.
"Just promise you won't panic if we stop at the top,"she teased." --> space needed before "she."
Now, for a personal preference.
When Cary tells Maggie that he loves her, her reply is, "But you never said anything." I think it would be helpful to include more detail here. Was she shocked? What was she thinking? As is, it kind of feels like she's just, "Meh. Okay."
I know this is an older post, but I've thrown in my two cents anyway lol. Your story is very well written. I really felt like I was there with them. When Maggie called him at the end, I went, "Aww." It was great.
Thank you for reviving this post. I'm happy I was able to read it. You're an excellent writer, Gretchen. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2023
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Hi, Gretchen. This is such a sweet story, and you've told it so well. I have a few suggestions for you that I hope are helpful.
You've written mainly in the past tense, but there are a couple of present tenses.
"She couldn't remember a summer going by when she and her best friend, Cary, didn't make their annual pilgrimage here." --> "...hadn't made their annual pilgrimage there."
"She looked around. It was beautiful from up here." --> "...It was such a beautiful view."
Here are a few other minor things.
"Without a word, Cary nodded and sat down next to Maggie." --> "down" is not needed
"Hey," Maggie said when he answered it." --> "...when he answered it" was already stated in the previous line, so it's repetitive.
"Just promise you won't panic if we stop at the top,"she teased." --> space needed before "she."
Now, for a personal preference.
When Cary tells Maggie that he loves her, her reply is, "But you never said anything." I think it would be helpful to include more detail here. Was she shocked? What was she thinking? As is, it kind of feels like she's just, "Meh. Okay."
I know this is an older post, but I've thrown in my two cents anyway lol. Your story is very well written. I really felt like I was there with them. When Maggie called him at the end, I went, "Aww." It was great.
Thank you for reviving this post. I'm happy I was able to read it. You're an excellent writer, Gretchen. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2023
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Thank you so much for the edits. I wrote it so long ago, and I wasn't great at proofreading. Still not spectacular, but getting better. I'm glad you enjoyed it and definitely appreciate the help. Gretchen
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You're very welcome. I love sweet romances like this. :)
Comment from pome lover
A nice, romantic story. He is what you call a VERY good friend, but not exactly a strong person. All those past times, he could have lost her as he just waited around for her to fall for the next guy. And pretending he was afraid? Im sorry, but I like your other stories better.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2023
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A nice, romantic story. He is what you call a VERY good friend, but not exactly a strong person. All those past times, he could have lost her as he just waited around for her to fall for the next guy. And pretending he was afraid? Im sorry, but I like your other stories better.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2023
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I don't think he was pretending. He just wanted to tell her his feelings where she was the happiest. Top of the ferris wheel. I'm not a huge fan of romances but every once in a while ... you just have to face your obstacles. Lol. Gretchen
Comment from Mrs. KT
Aw, Gretchen!
Smiles all around!
I absolutely loved your story from start to finish.
Your Cary remind/reminded me of my own husband...
Well-paced.
Believable characters and setting.
And a wonderful ending!
Thank you for sharing!
diane
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2023
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Aw, Gretchen!
Smiles all around!
I absolutely loved your story from start to finish.
Your Cary remind/reminded me of my own husband...
Well-paced.
Believable characters and setting.
And a wonderful ending!
Thank you for sharing!
diane
Comment Written 30-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2023
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Thank you, Diane. I'm si happy you liked it. Gretchen
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
This is a lovely piece of writing. it is straightforward with a great tone. Hopeful too. Very nice
"Just promise you won't panic if we stop at the top,"she teased. - need a space after the closing speech marks.
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2016
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Hi there,
This is a lovely piece of writing. it is straightforward with a great tone. Hopeful too. Very nice
"Just promise you won't panic if we stop at the top,"she teased. - need a space after the closing speech marks.
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 06-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2016
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Thank you so much for your wonderful review. Gretchen
Comment from Sankey
I see I reviewed this but never completed the review. A wonderful, suspenseful, at last very romantic tale. So sorry I never saw it the first time around. Keep up the good work. No spags!
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2016
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I see I reviewed this but never completed the review. A wonderful, suspenseful, at last very romantic tale. So sorry I never saw it the first time around. Keep up the good work. No spags!
Comment Written 02-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2016
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Again, I thank you so much for the excellent review and the sixth star. Gretchen