Life, Love, and Other Disasters
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Tapestry"A collection of poems on these themes
25 total reviews
Comment from vfbryant
I'm afraid I'm not a very good judge of these more complex forms, but I can tell you that I think your message is one of truth, and if one has not "lived" such a tapestry, one will. I really like the way you expressed the necessity and inevitability of the dark threads. Those who rail against life's difficulties are naive to expect otherwise. As fire refines silver, so we are (if we allow it) refined by 'fevered strains, both dense and dark'. I enjoyed this metaphor.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2012
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I'm afraid I'm not a very good judge of these more complex forms, but I can tell you that I think your message is one of truth, and if one has not "lived" such a tapestry, one will. I really like the way you expressed the necessity and inevitability of the dark threads. Those who rail against life's difficulties are naive to expect otherwise. As fire refines silver, so we are (if we allow it) refined by 'fevered strains, both dense and dark'. I enjoyed this metaphor.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2012
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It's a pity you have to grow old and experience these things before you can be wise enough to apply them to how you live!
The refining metaphor is an apt one - may have to use it in a poem some time.
Steve
Comment from cvcopac
Tomatoes ripen at night but need the sunshine to grow--so is--life. I like the metaphor, juxtaposed with life, of the tapestry, we got some good stories from the epic scenes displayed thereon. I didn't take the time to measure all the nuts and bolts and mechanics of the poem but the vehicle is definitly ambulatory and carring good news. I enjoyed the read.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2012
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Tomatoes ripen at night but need the sunshine to grow--so is--life. I like the metaphor, juxtaposed with life, of the tapestry, we got some good stories from the epic scenes displayed thereon. I didn't take the time to measure all the nuts and bolts and mechanics of the poem but the vehicle is definitly ambulatory and carring good news. I enjoyed the read.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2012
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Hah! I've just got my tomatoes planted and we are experiencing late frosts - hope they survive with a little protection, but they won't be enjoying it.
Thanks for the kind review.
Steve
Comment from MumEsGirl
Beautifully crafted work just like the tapestry It is only wehn you look at the back of the tapesty that you begin to understand just how amazing it is.
Dull threads or bright, we weave each strand
for none can tell us how to dance;
our choice of dark or light unfolds.
Definately my favourite line
hugs
kate
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2012
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Beautifully crafted work just like the tapestry It is only wehn you look at the back of the tapesty that you begin to understand just how amazing it is.
Dull threads or bright, we weave each strand
for none can tell us how to dance;
our choice of dark or light unfolds.
Definately my favourite line
hugs
kate
Comment Written 12-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2012
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Thanks for the nice review - sounds like you are a glass half full kind of person.
Steve
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Yes I am lucky, I have learned to be happy with what I have, not what I wish I had.
Look forward to seeing more of your work soon
hugs
kate
Comment from sunnilicious
Your poem came out wonderful. I appreciated the author notes, due to unfamiliarity to Senstina. Nice flow of rhythm and rhymes. Lovely descriptions creating vivid imagery. Excellent work.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2012
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Your poem came out wonderful. I appreciated the author notes, due to unfamiliarity to Senstina. Nice flow of rhythm and rhymes. Lovely descriptions creating vivid imagery. Excellent work.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2012
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Thanks, Sunni - glad you enjoyed.
Steve
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Very well done bravo my friend this is a difficult form and you have accomplished it very well I am talking from experience I have written two of these there in my portfolio so far but with my eyes sight failing now it is getting too much of a task as they take me hours to complete yours is beautiful well done my friend regards Jill
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2012
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Very well done bravo my friend this is a difficult form and you have accomplished it very well I am talking from experience I have written two of these there in my portfolio so far but with my eyes sight failing now it is getting too much of a task as they take me hours to complete yours is beautiful well done my friend regards Jill
Comment Written 12-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2012
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Thank you, Jill, for the kind words. Sorry to hear about your failing eyesight. I know milton continued to write even after he went completely blind but it must make everything ten times more difficult.
Steve
Comment from MizKat
kiwisteveh - Your poem is beautiful. You did a fantastic job on your first try. The instructions for writing it made me dizzy so I didn't check to see if you'd done everything it says. This is a great undertaking to write something so difficult. Kat
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2012
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kiwisteveh - Your poem is beautiful. You did a fantastic job on your first try. The instructions for writing it made me dizzy so I didn't check to see if you'd done everything it says. This is a great undertaking to write something so difficult. Kat
Comment Written 12-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2012
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Thanks, Kat.
Sometimes I wonder if it's just the level of difficulty that always makes these look so impressive.
Steve
Comment from Hollyhock
This looks a terribly complicated format, frighteningly so, but you seem to have it nailed.
That aside this is a beautiful poem in itself. The tapestry image is one which lends itself to an interpretation of life, with its many interwoven threads, and you have made excellent use of this.
Not only that but the form is so appropriate to this imagery since it too has to be tightly woven - well done.
Leaving to one side these technicalities the word choices and individual images are quite lovely.
"Through MAZY lanes our journes THREADS.......
........., what the dance?" How better could the twists and turns and unknowns of our complicated lives be described?
There is something worthy of special comment within each stanza, particularly,
"........ with foamy threads,
Where scuttling crabs embrace the dark.
This SPLENDID golden day......"
Superb contrasts of light and dark, scene and emotion, and the use of the word "splendid" emphasizes just why such a day is worth recording for posterity.
The last lines were a wonderfully philosophical comment on the way we have to live our lives,
" ......
for none can tell us how to dance,
......."
Fantastic, the more I read it the better it gets!
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2012
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This looks a terribly complicated format, frighteningly so, but you seem to have it nailed.
That aside this is a beautiful poem in itself. The tapestry image is one which lends itself to an interpretation of life, with its many interwoven threads, and you have made excellent use of this.
Not only that but the form is so appropriate to this imagery since it too has to be tightly woven - well done.
Leaving to one side these technicalities the word choices and individual images are quite lovely.
"Through MAZY lanes our journes THREADS.......
........., what the dance?" How better could the twists and turns and unknowns of our complicated lives be described?
There is something worthy of special comment within each stanza, particularly,
"........ with foamy threads,
Where scuttling crabs embrace the dark.
This SPLENDID golden day......"
Superb contrasts of light and dark, scene and emotion, and the use of the word "splendid" emphasizes just why such a day is worth recording for posterity.
The last lines were a wonderfully philosophical comment on the way we have to live our lives,
" ......
for none can tell us how to dance,
......."
Fantastic, the more I read it the better it gets!
Comment Written 12-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2012
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Andrea, thanks for the kind and detailed review - I do like to set myself a challenge and I was inspired by Sally Carter's sestina, Dust, to give this a go, but I really did have to wrestle with it - not my usual slap-dash, whip off a poem in half an hour.
I'm glad you got so much out of it and enjoyed the language.
Steve
Comment from RaymondJohn
Which Eighteenth Century drawing room did you come from? This is like being there. Strong imagery, but very delicate, too. I enjoyed reading it very much. Ray
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2012
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Which Eighteenth Century drawing room did you come from? This is like being there. Strong imagery, but very delicate, too. I enjoyed reading it very much. Ray
Comment Written 12-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2012
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Thanks, Ray - don't think snuff and hair wigs would suit me!
Steve
Comment from TammyGail
Hey there kiwisteveh spag in your notes sweetie "My irst" other than that excellent work weaving this verse - I've never attempted this style before but seems you did a stunning job
loved your use of imagery and thanks for the notes as well as the read always a pleasure
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2012
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Hey there kiwisteveh spag in your notes sweetie "My irst" other than that excellent work weaving this verse - I've never attempted this style before but seems you did a stunning job
loved your use of imagery and thanks for the notes as well as the read always a pleasure
Comment Written 12-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2012
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Thank you, TG.
Steve
Comment from tinlight
All I can say is, wow, well done! Your words trip lightly through this complex form, never weighing down your tapestry.
Just one tiny suggestion: in 5th line of 3rd stanza, you probably meant fates (plural), not fate's (possessive).
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2012
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All I can say is, wow, well done! Your words trip lightly through this complex form, never weighing down your tapestry.
Just one tiny suggestion: in 5th line of 3rd stanza, you probably meant fates (plural), not fate's (possessive).
Comment Written 12-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2012
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Thanks for the review and the suggestion - I shall take a look.
Steve