Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Poha Moon, Pt. 2"Murder Mystery
41 total reviews
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi Writingfundimension
Now that does sound like an very evil presence and Fr Brian needs some help I'm thinking - before whoever it is possessing strikes again.
Well written, good tension, nice touch adding the pup.
Patrick
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
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Hi Writingfundimension
Now that does sound like an very evil presence and Fr Brian needs some help I'm thinking - before whoever it is possessing strikes again.
Well written, good tension, nice touch adding the pup.
Patrick
Comment Written 29-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
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Hi, Patrick. I'm getting back to the detectives in the next chapter. I think I've established we're dealing with an evil presence LOL. I like Alyx. Used to have a full-sized collie as a kid. The best friend I've ever had. Say, when are you posting again? Hope I haven't missed any.
Take care,
Bev
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I haven't posted for a while as I'm revising a book for a publisher and trying to create a film script out of another for a film-maker who is interested in turning one of my Harry Heron books into a film. It is proving very demanding on both fronts ...
Patrick
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What exciting news!! Good for you, Patrick. I wish you the best of luck with both endeavors. Bev
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It is exciting, but hard going!
Comment from santapola
Hello there you did well here it drew me straight in and kept me reading which is half the battle won. It appears well written and a good story to boot
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
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Hello there you did well here it drew me straight in and kept me reading which is half the battle won. It appears well written and a good story to boot
Comment Written 29-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
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Thank you so much, santapola. I really appreciate you taking time to read and your generous review. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
Great as always. It is getting to exciting to wait so long for the next chapter so hurry up! =} Well done, can't wait for the next one. Rox
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
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Great as always. It is getting to exciting to wait so long for the next chapter so hurry up! =} Well done, can't wait for the next one. Rox
Comment Written 28-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2012
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Yes, ma'am! hehehe
Thank you so much for this awesome review. I appreciate your continued interest in my book, Rox. As well as your support.
Hugs, Bev
Comment from donaldww
This chapter has some bite and you keep the tension going. Mrs. Findlay is able to keep her wits about her with the Martians living in the attic bit.:) There's a demonic presence at work.
When Caroline realized he meant business, she acquiesced. [ I'm wondering if just 'she agreed' might be more in keeping with the style here. ]
You are really cracking these chapters off! Keep up the amazing work and you'll be done in record time.
Stellar!
Cheers,
DW
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2012
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This chapter has some bite and you keep the tension going. Mrs. Findlay is able to keep her wits about her with the Martians living in the attic bit.:) There's a demonic presence at work.
When Caroline realized he meant business, she acquiesced. [ I'm wondering if just 'she agreed' might be more in keeping with the style here. ]
You are really cracking these chapters off! Keep up the amazing work and you'll be done in record time.
Stellar!
Cheers,
DW
Comment Written 28-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2012
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Hi, Donald. Thanks so much. I appreciate the support and good insights. And your suggestion is a good one. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from jjstar
Oh boy...here we go..I was waiting for the Father's story, but I guess she already knew kind of what he was going to say? I can just see them trying to explain this incident to the police...not going to go over well? Love the fear you've invoked and the mysticism of the "it" and Can the wounds caused by one man's selling his soul to Satan ever heal?" he thought. That goes into territory of unanswerable questions.
Great chapter...perfect ending for this chapter!
"HE did it," she croaked. "HE threw me to the floor and made the lights explode."===uh oh...mayday, mayday...who is HE Yikes!
"How do you know about my private... oh, never mind."===housekeepers know all..lol
It was her that chased the Thing away,====oooooooo...yikes...
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2012
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Oh boy...here we go..I was waiting for the Father's story, but I guess she already knew kind of what he was going to say? I can just see them trying to explain this incident to the police...not going to go over well? Love the fear you've invoked and the mysticism of the "it" and Can the wounds caused by one man's selling his soul to Satan ever heal?" he thought. That goes into territory of unanswerable questions.
Great chapter...perfect ending for this chapter!
"HE did it," she croaked. "HE threw me to the floor and made the lights explode."===uh oh...mayday, mayday...who is HE Yikes!
"How do you know about my private... oh, never mind."===housekeepers know all..lol
It was her that chased the Thing away,====oooooooo...yikes...
Comment Written 28-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2012
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Hi, jj. Thank you so much for your so-generous review. I do appreciate all the time you took to let me know the elements that worked for you. I especially find that helpful. You are one of the reasons I keep feeling inspired to write this novel. I can't thank you enough for your awesome support. Hugs, Bev
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You're so welcome. I like it when people do that. I hate when people just say, "Oh good job and summarize your chapter!" It drives me crazy! I'm so glad I can inspire. I'm trying to inspire myself. It's so hard to work full time and find time to get enthusiastic about writing during the weekends. You actually do that for me, too. It's easier to review on days off..lol
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Well your last chapter was so beautifully written, especially in light of how little free time you have. You truly amaze me, my friend. Xxx Bev
Comment from Littlegirl38732
Wow! That is a strong piece of work. I am going.to have to go back and read the rest of it. I love it! You know I always wondered what would happen if a killer confessed to a priest... excellent work. Thanks for posting.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2012
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Wow! That is a strong piece of work. I am going.to have to go back and read the rest of it. I love it! You know I always wondered what would happen if a killer confessed to a priest... excellent work. Thanks for posting.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2012
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Thanks so much, Littlegirl. I appreciate you choosing to read and review my piece. Your generosity is very encouraging! Warm regards, Bev
Comment from JW
This is another good chapter, Bev. I can only imagine what it would like to experience something like this in real life - I definitely would also need a drink.
Thanks for sharing this well written chapter. JW
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2012
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This is another good chapter, Bev. I can only imagine what it would like to experience something like this in real life - I definitely would also need a drink.
Thanks for sharing this well written chapter. JW
Comment Written 28-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2012
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Thank you so much, Jonathon. I do like scotch for just about any reason - within limits of course LOL.
Comment from robina1978
First Debrah was killed in this house and now the Father's housekeeper as well. She did seem to hurt quite a bit and shocked mainly. He wants to inform the police.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2012
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First Debrah was killed in this house and now the Father's housekeeper as well. She did seem to hurt quite a bit and shocked mainly. He wants to inform the police.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2012
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Thank you so much for continuing to follow along, Ine. Warm regards, Bev
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very welcome
Comment from TammyGail
Damn - stifled sister was so hoping to give you a six for this chapter - it really made for a stellar read - like always you pay such close att to vivid details throughout it always pulls me in and keeps me until closing - thanks for the notes and for sharing - always a pleasure -
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2012
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Damn - stifled sister was so hoping to give you a six for this chapter - it really made for a stellar read - like always you pay such close att to vivid details throughout it always pulls me in and keeps me until closing - thanks for the notes and for sharing - always a pleasure -
Comment Written 28-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2012
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Hi, Tammy. Thank you for this awesome review. I really appreciate so much your faithful following along with my novel, my friend. It's very encouraging and kind of you. Also appreciate the wish for a six. Your words make me sing: LALALA!
Hugs, Bev
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lolol...
Comment from Cumbrianlass
I'm a bit tardy getting to this. Forgive me! It's been a busy (but fun) week!
"I'll do my best. After what's just happened to me, you could tell me Martians were living in the attic and I'd believe you." - excellent!
"How do you know about my private... oh, never mind." - HAHA! Love it.
A chill crept along his spine, - bloody crept along mine, too!
Sadness held Brian in its grip. "Can the wounds caused by one man's selling his soul to Satan every heal?" - should this be 'ever heal' ?
"Neither you nor Debra deserve what's happened to you. The important thing now is for you to tell the police everything you know(.)" - Just my opinion. You really don't need her name here.
We're getting into the meat of this evil entity. Love it. I can see this making a great movie, Bev.
Great job. Can't wait for the next, my friend.
Love Av
xxx
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2012
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I'm a bit tardy getting to this. Forgive me! It's been a busy (but fun) week!
"I'll do my best. After what's just happened to me, you could tell me Martians were living in the attic and I'd believe you." - excellent!
"How do you know about my private... oh, never mind." - HAHA! Love it.
A chill crept along his spine, - bloody crept along mine, too!
Sadness held Brian in its grip. "Can the wounds caused by one man's selling his soul to Satan every heal?" - should this be 'ever heal' ?
"Neither you nor Debra deserve what's happened to you. The important thing now is for you to tell the police everything you know(.)" - Just my opinion. You really don't need her name here.
We're getting into the meat of this evil entity. Love it. I can see this making a great movie, Bev.
Great job. Can't wait for the next, my friend.
Love Av
xxx
Comment Written 28-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2012
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Hi, Av. Thank you so much for this superbly helpful review. I really appreciate your 'editing' advice very much. Your ongoing support and encouragement is one of the reasons I persist in writing. Can't thank you enough for that, my friend.
Hugs, Bev