Tall Tales and Short Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "My very own self"Personal growth stories for children
24 total reviews
Comment from Judy Couch
Well written and nice poem. It might help to motivate a kid to keep his/her toys picked up and put away and to be proud of the appearance of his/her bedroom.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Well written and nice poem. It might help to motivate a kid to keep his/her toys picked up and put away and to be proud of the appearance of his/her bedroom.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Thanks Judi, I appreciate your comments very much.
Comment from Sagnik Das
Ah! Dearest mystery-writer! thou hath fared
outstandingly to track those puerile traits,
that wayward juveniles have never cared
to perform ... (can one practice what one hates!)
Through cluttered clogs of tarnished toys they'll tread --
the ink-stained hands outstretched in reckless triumph;
Surmounting reproach, they shall rush ahead,
and down the weary bedstead -- unflinched -- jump! ...
Now, how about that as a review, my beloved author??!! -- Sufficient? ... I shall better head for the booth ...
PS ~ Doesn't your first name commence with 'C'?!
;)
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Ah! Dearest mystery-writer! thou hath fared
outstandingly to track those puerile traits,
that wayward juveniles have never cared
to perform ... (can one practice what one hates!)
Through cluttered clogs of tarnished toys they'll tread --
the ink-stained hands outstretched in reckless triumph;
Surmounting reproach, they shall rush ahead,
and down the weary bedstead -- unflinched -- jump! ...
Now, how about that as a review, my beloved author??!! -- Sufficient? ... I shall better head for the booth ...
PS ~ Doesn't your first name commence with 'C'?!
;)
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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I find that I can't hide from Thee, for yes I do begin with ?, I can't reveal just who I am, or I will be in an impromtuuuuuuu jam....thanks for the wonderful review. my friend :-)
Comment from MarjorieAnne
Spritely rhythm and rhyme sounds appealing to children, as does the whole child voice soliloquy. Possible changes: verse one - reword to reduce repetitions of "and"; verse four - "Taking care" instead of "Take care"; verse five- reword to reduce repetitions of "I'll".
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Spritely rhythm and rhyme sounds appealing to children, as does the whole child voice soliloquy. Possible changes: verse one - reword to reduce repetitions of "and"; verse four - "Taking care" instead of "Take care"; verse five- reword to reduce repetitions of "I'll".
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Thank you for such a through review and suggestions.
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You're welcome
Comment from SaluteDobby
I really think this is a fantastic poem for kids. It conveys the message that they should be responsible, tidy, empathetic and most importantly, learn to be themselves.
The icing on the cake is that the poem doesn't sound preachy at all! :)
All the best with the contest! :)
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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I really think this is a fantastic poem for kids. It conveys the message that they should be responsible, tidy, empathetic and most importantly, learn to be themselves.
The icing on the cake is that the poem doesn't sound preachy at all! :)
All the best with the contest! :)
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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I appreciate your wonderful review and comments. Thank you.
Comment from Evelyn Fort Stewart
Now this is a very positive and teaching motivational piece for a child. it would definitely plant in their minds the good things they can do to grow up and be allowed to be who God created them to be. Good luck in the prompt. God loves you and so do I.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Now this is a very positive and teaching motivational piece for a child. it would definitely plant in their minds the good things they can do to grow up and be allowed to be who God created them to be. Good luck in the prompt. God loves you and so do I.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Thanks Evelyn, I always appreciate your input. I am glad you found this to be a positive motivation piece for children.
Comment from Brumar97
Your message is great. There were a few places where the rhyming seems to have tripped up the flow as I read it aloud. Perhaps a few felt forced? Overall, I really enjoyed your work. Thank you for sharing:)
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Your message is great. There were a few places where the rhyming seems to have tripped up the flow as I read it aloud. Perhaps a few felt forced? Overall, I really enjoyed your work. Thank you for sharing:)
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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And thank you for reading and reviewing, I am glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Bina1
Wouldn't this be a delightful group of kids any bus driver would love? Thanks for sharing! Good luck in the contest, a fine entry you offer here.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Wouldn't this be a delightful group of kids any bus driver would love? Thanks for sharing! Good luck in the contest, a fine entry you offer here.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Thanks, I am glad you liked it.
Comment from mfowler
This has a good rhyme and rhythm, prerequisites for kids. What I like is the upbeat positive message it contains. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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This has a good rhyme and rhythm, prerequisites for kids. What I like is the upbeat positive message it contains. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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A little euphoric maybe :-) but attainable. Thanks for the review and good wishes.
Comment from Domino 2
This is an excellent entry to the contest.
It gives excellent advice to kids on how to behave as 'good citizens', but I doubt too many little angels like this exist. LOL.
Good luck, Ted
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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This is an excellent entry to the contest.
It gives excellent advice to kids on how to behave as 'good citizens', but I doubt too many little angels like this exist. LOL.
Good luck, Ted
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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I guess they just need 'motivation'..LOL
Comment from Dean Kuch
Great children's poem proclaiming that it's fine to like yourself just the way you are. Good lessons abide throughout as well, such as helping others, taking care of your things, picking up after yourself, and being an asset to your community...
Nicely done. Best of luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Great children's poem proclaiming that it's fine to like yourself just the way you are. Good lessons abide throughout as well, such as helping others, taking care of your things, picking up after yourself, and being an asset to your community...
Nicely done. Best of luck in the contest!
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Thanks Dean, I appreciate your fine remarks and rating.